Karen's Journey

2009-11-08T21:25:00.001+13:00

Am going private in a new blog, let me know if you want an invite to it. Just leave a comment here with your email address or send me an email directly to my xtra or facebook address as I don't use my gmail one very often.

http://karensupsanddowns.blogspot.com/

2009-09-01T15:05:00.009+12:00

Woohoo!! It is the first day of spring today!!! Roll on Summer is all I have to say! :) Though it is only 4 weeks till daylight savings... Just checked and it is Sunday 27th September so not long to go now till longer lighter days! :)

So what have I been up to for the last 5 weeks or so... hmmmm nothing to exciting really. Just plodding on as usual with work, Rachel, gym (when I get there) and other normal day to day stuff. The weekends are flying by far to quickly for my liking especially when there is so much I would like to do!

I had my trip to Christchurch last week which was fantastic! Caught up with a good friend of mine Paula (now a private blogger) and also met the wonderful, lovely Margaret. Paula, always wonderful great to see you and to catch up on all the goss!! Oh I updated Lynaire on "who know whos wedding info"! LOL Margaret - was great meeting you! And thank you so, so much for the wonderful gollywog that you bought for Rachel! She loves it!

Speaking of Rachel, she is growing up so, so fast! Only 2 months till she is 3! OMG where have the last 3 years gone?? Getting asked lots now about when we are having the next one... and as much as I would LOVE another child, it's just not a doable option for us right now. Maybe in another year or so, we will be able to look at trying, then by the time I had "it", Rachel would be at school but then I would also be 40!! Which I know is not to old these days to be having children but it does scare me a wee bit being that old... but lots of time to talk these things through with Stephan :) Rachel has finally "self weaned" herself off her night bottle... her bedtime bottle (well before bed actually) is the only one she has been having for over a year but didn't really matter to us that much. Then on Sunday evening, she told me she didn't want a bottle anymore cause it hurt her mouth... and that bottles were for babies! So 2 nights without it so far, and all is going well. Her language is amazing and it is wonderful listening to her chat away and having conversations with her. I often get asked "how was your day mummy" when I walk in the door at night... another one I get "I missed you mummy" awwwwwwww
Rachel has had a bad run with the flu over the last month - with temps, runny nose, coughing etc... but hopefully she is almost over it now - still has a bit of runny nose but that's about it.

Unfortunately I now seem to have caught some of Rachel's germs, and have a nasty cough... went to work yesterday and got told I should have stayed at home. So after a rough night of lots of coughing... I decided to stay home today. So have done sweet bugger all, just sleeping, reading, surfing the net and generally just doing nothing but chilling out!

Heat pump is fantastic!!! Got our first proper bill couple of weeks ago - $100 cheaper than the month before!! $220 for 1 month so was quite happy with that bill!

Anyway, should probably make tracks now as I want to be able to have an early dinner with Rachel (rather than her eating early before I get home) and then us eating later... and the mince is still semi frozen so need to get that thawed first!

Catch ya later :)

2009-07-29T11:37:00.000+12:00

Oh well another 3 weeks has gone by without me doing an update - bloody slack if you ask me! LOL I keep meaning to update at least once a week but never quite get around to it with everything else that happens in my life in the evenings!

Rachel recovered from her flu nicely and luckily (for both of us) that I did not get it - well just a little bit - no where near as bad as she had it anyway! She is also well and truely toilet trained both day and night now! Although on saying that, we did have our first accident over night - first one since wearing no nappies about 10 days ago! I did hear her calling out to me at some stage this morning, but as I had already gotten up to her a few times, I called out for her to go back to sleep so it could be partially my fault there but I certainly don't recall her saying that she needed to go toilet like she usually does if she wakes needing to go during the night. We are having issues with some very early waking and wanting to get up at some ungodly hour but she is usually pretty good at going back to bed for awhile but does not go back to sleep... so is therefore tired early on, has a big day sleep and then the cycle begins again... Have tried putting her to bed earlier, later and limiting her day sleep to 1 hr (she definitely still needs that but maybe that is just because she is so tired from waking early) but nothing has worked so far... may just have to accept that she is going to be a morning person (which I used to be) and as long as she continues to go back to bed until at least 6am then I guess I can work with that. Have got some good photos of her recently but as I am doing this update from work, I can not share them today but they were on Facebook a couple of weeks ago so most of you may have already seen them.

Am still gyming - most weeks we go twice and occasionally we do get there at the weekend too but that is a struggle most weekends as I do value my family time so much and often promise Rachel we will do something and then later remember that I should be at the gym instead! If it wasn't for my gym buddy, Marianne I would definitely be struggling BIG time to get there at all but once she gets me there, I love it!!! LOL Though, on saying that I have had a issue with my right foot which I initially thought was related to the very old sneakers I was wearing but have since got new supportive sneakers and am still having the pain etc. Mentioned it to one of the Personal Trainers last night, and she suggested seeing a Dr or physio so will add that to my list of things to do when we have some spare cash.

Oh we got our heat pump installed a couple of weeks ago, and we are LOVING it! We have it running 24/7 - sitting on the lowest setting of 16 degrees over night and all day when we are at work, and in the evenings, it can sit between 20-23 degrees depending how cold it is etc... Love being able to finish the clothes off under it on the clothes horse rather than in the dryer! We generally use the carport clothes line during the day, then bring it in and leave it under the heat pump over night and its all fine in the mornings. Only once have I put a fully wet (straight from the machine) load straight on the clothes horse and under the heat pump and it was still dry within about 20hrs or so! With the old gas heater, if I did something like that, it would have taken at least a couple of days! Have only used the dehumidifer a couple of times since the heat pump was installed as well as there is so much less condensation through the house!

Am heading to Christchurch for a work visit at the end of August - staying for one night so aim to catch up with either my brother or some dear friends for dinner that night. Am looking forward to it, especially the night in a hotel - the thought of that luxury with no 2 year old waking me up sounds bloody bliss!!! Am hoping that Stephan will wake if Rachel needs him that one night but am sure everything will be ok. It will be my first night away from Rachel since having her!! I know some say we are crazy but we don't have big social lifes or money to spare to have nights away so there has been no need to have her stay anywhere else.

Anyway, best I get back to work - am working on a project at the moment which can be a bit boring yet over whelming too at times so thought I would take a wee break from it.

Catch ya all later :)

2009-07-03T13:27:00.004+12:00

Another month has gone past since my last update... I started off quite well doing regular updates and now well I do it when I can.

So in the last month, I have had a chest infection, Rachel is currently recovering from "the" flu - no actual testing done but the way the Dr put it, we understood that they are no longer testing in Wellington but since then I have heard that they are so perhaps it is just the ordinary flu... but boy we have had one miserable, clingy, grumpy girl on our hands over the last 7 days! Came on very quickly on Sat morning, then at Drs on Sunday... Stephan stayed home with her Monday and Tuesday, then I have been home with her since Wednesday - working from home when I can but when one has a girl who just wants continous cuddles etc I haven't actually got much done much to my bosses disappointment. We had hoped she would be ok to face a day at creche today, then have the weekend to rest, then back to normal on Monday, however we were back at the Drs with her on Wednesday night - rattly chest/barking like a dog... so she is on redipred (a steroid) for 3 days. She had her last dose today but still not right so might call the nurse later and have a chat as we do have extra supply of it if necessary but you are not supposed to do a course longer than 3 days when they are still so little. Yesterday, it was like walking on eggshells around her - nothing I said or did was right and anything I said or did set her off in tears! We were both in tears at one stage in the afternoon!

And the bad thing is that I now think that I may be getting Rachel's germs!! Hard not to really when they cough and sneeze all over you! I mean, she is fantastic at covering her mouth etc but sometimes it just doesn't happen in time. I really hope I am not getting her bugs but it's more likely than I am! Great just what I need! NOT!!!

We have bought a heat pump too - got a great deal from LV Martins - 24mths interest free... then my eldest nephew has his own company which specialises in installing heat pumps/air conditioning units. So he is going to be doing a "perky" for us (well mates rates) but he is just so damn busy it's not funny! Though he did finally call me yesterday with a date so only 12 days to go until it is installed! We can not wait!! We are both SO OVER the portable gas heater and its fumes and the condensation problems we have!!! I can wait till we are cosy and warm all day and all night long!!!

Rachel is now fully toilet trained for day time, and has actually been dry for the last 2 weeks at night time... so just gotta be brave and take the night nappy off her but am not brave enough for that as yet! Maybe in a couple more weeks...

Still going to the gym though at times I lack the motivation to go but having a gym buddy is fantastic as she always ensures I go (when it's possible). Having a few issues with the healthy eating side of things but I am sure I will get there eventually (I HOPE)! Cutting down my carbs at lunch time has certainly made an improvement to my afternoons - am not so tired and sluggish... seem to have more energy most days which is great!

Anyway, am starting to get cramp sitting here - and Rachel will probably wake soon and there are things I wanted to get done while she was asleep...

Catch ya all later!

2009-06-08T20:54:00.002+12:00

Sorry that I have been MIA but I am around and plodding on. Just been to tired most evenings to update here and well the weekends just fly by!

Been off work today (and last Friday) with the beginnings of a chest infection after going to the After Hrs on Sat night. The Antibiotics do seem to be working but thought I would take today off to stay home, keep warm and rest and let the AB's do their job! I think that may have been a good idea as definitely starting to feel better so fingers crossed for another good nights sleep and all will be right for work in the morning. One thing I was able to do today with being home, was to take Rachel to the Dr this afternoon (she was at creche until then) as she had spots/blisters around her hip area on both sides... turns out it some form of warts (viral maybe) so have got some wart paint to put on them once a day. Though when we were walking into the Dr's room, he did ask which one of us was he seeing as I walked in while having a coughing fit! LOL It was not our usual Dr as our one is on holiday but this guy was really good with Rachel.

Missed the gym last Thursday due to not feeling well - at that stage it was a nasty headcold and blocked sinuses. And then as it got progressively worse over the weekend, I missed Sunday morning too and don't think I will be there tomorrow either if little simple tasks make me cough... I would hate to see what a work out would do to me! LOL So will see how things go for Thursday evening.

Looking forward to Saturday morning as I have arranged to meet Rachel's former caregiver from her old creche for morning tea at a cafe and it will be a surprise for Rachel so I know she will just love seeing Lisa as she adored her and still talks about her heaps. Then on Sat afternoon, we are going to pick up an oven that we won on Trade Me this afternoon - hope it is nice and clean!! LOL - couldn't resist that bit since I realised after bidding on it that it was actually Jo selling it and we were having a joke about oven cleaning being the worst job in the entire world! Also means we can have a look at all of the hard work Jo and Jeremy have been doing on the house!

We really do need to do something about the heating in this place as it is so cold at times. I was freezing sitting here today so ended up in bed with the electric blanket on to keep warm, fell asleep and woke up just in the nick of time to get Rachel from creche and to the Drs on time!

Weight is not going down very fast but still need to make more of an effort to get back on track with the healthy eating.

Anyway, am starting to freeze again and the electric blanket is calling me... catch ya all later :)

2009-05-26T21:28:00.002+12:00

Ooooops almost a week since my last update... boy time certainly flies by when one is busy!

So what have I been busy doing... mainly work, being a wife and mummy, and all the other stuff in the middle!

Went to the gym tonight for the first time in a week... missed last Thursday as I was still not feeling well and then just totally forgot all about it on Sunday! Oooops! But when I text my gym buddy to let her know that I had promised Rachel shopping and baking she was quite happy not to go as she was hungover and was sleeping on a friends couch! LOL Loved the workout tonight - Marianne did a circuit while I stuck to my programme, I might try the circuit with her on Thursday night as it did look like it was just a little bit of fun :-)

I tried knocking myself out on Monday morning... got to work and stopped by the kitchenette on our floor to put my salad in the fridge (under the bench) and whammed my forehead straight into the edge of the bench!! OUCH!!! My bosses boss witnessed it and we both initially laughed then I realised the pain that I was in! I completed an incident report just in case something happened later in the day... but all I have to show for it is a little bump and a headache coming and going.

I had a nice phone call from the gym on Friday afternoon to say that I had won their recent "refer a friend" competition (with Marianne joining the day after me) and that their was a cheque waiting for me to collect! That really made my day/week though most of the money is going on upcoming dentist bill but am also planning to buy myself some new sneakers and trackpants as well as taking Marianne out for lunch tomorrow to say thanks to her for joining on my recommendation.

Rachel is doing fantastically well with the toilet training... she must have been so ready for it when she started at creche last week. We have not had any accidents since Friday and she is even doing No 2's on the toilet too most days! She wakes dry each day after her nap... and is wanting to use the toilet first thing each morning! Her night nappy is still generally wet but she still has a lot "inside" :) I have already started only washing nappies every second night as there is no point in doing a load of washing for 3 nappies each day (2 at night as she can wet through if only wearing one and then one for her day nap too). Am so proud of the fact that it has happened so easily and smoothly (touch wood) and that we haven't even had to use pull ups or training pants... straight from nappies to little girl knickers!

Anyway, time for me to head to bed... still have a bit of headache and want a good nights sleep. Donating blood tomorrow so hopefully it will be a bit easier this time, this is my 3rd time and they have so many problems finding my small and very deep veins! But I want to preserver in donating blood after seeing Dad and my friend Jude needing blood transfusions and how I can help so many people.

Night all

2009-05-20T16:57:00.003+12:00

Have been at home today not feeling the best... starting feeling yuck yesterday afternoon but still managed to get to the gym with my buddy who kept threatening to throw her water bottle over me whenever I lost my motivation. I managed to do it but came home, had tea, did the dishes, showered and went to bed! Had a restless sleep and then when I woke this morning, I decided that I was going to stay at home as I was still feeling "blah", headachey, fluey etc... so managed to get Rachel to creche, then back home to bed until midday. But it did take me 2 hrs with the electric blanket on high to warm up enough to sleep properly! Feel better after that sleep/rest and have had a very quiet afternoon with the most energetic thing being folding some washing.

I sometimes wish I could be home more often as I eat so much better at home (i.e. no snacking etc) so just have to work out how to manage it while at work.

We seem to be making progress on Rachel's toilet training which is good news... slowly but surely and lots and lots of praise when she does it in the toilet. Though she is insisting on the fact that poo's get done in nappies... so that part may take a bit longer.

Right, time to bath madam and its taken me about an hr to do this post between getting her tea and 2 toilet stops for Rachel.

2009-05-17T13:15:00.002+12:00

Another wild, windy day in Wellington! Though apparently it has cleared up in the city, but out in Hutt it is still very blustery! Just hung a second load of towels out on the main line for it to break off the fence a few mins later! So am not impressed at all! The lines in the carport already have clothes on them so the only option is the dryer! Bugger! Stephan has said it is just a matter of getting bigger bolts for the clothesline so might try to stop at Bunnings while we are out later on to see if we can pick some up. Admittingly, we don't use that line a lot during the week in the winter (as it loses the sun early) but if we don't get it fixed quickly, it will get forgotten about until I go to use it and then I will curse and swear away! LOL

Oh anyone want to buy a house in a mortgagee auction? The house next door to us is on the market and will go to auction in a couple of weeks time. The owners moved in about the same time as us (just over 3 yrs ago) but have not lived there for the last 2 years! It has been empty! No tenants no nothing! They would show up occasionally to mow the lawns etc. They had it on the market prior to Christmas and turned down a great offer (well great for the market and would have cleared their mortgage) so now the banks have taken it over! Check it out on www.open2view.com (ID number 202487). The Bank just wants it sold, so I think it could end up going for a good price.

Went to the gym this morning with Marianne and had another great session. Marianne was a bit hungover so she just did about 45 mins cardio while I did cardio as well as my programme. It was a great time to go (10am) as it was quiet :-) Just how I like it.

Still got to suss out my eating as I am finding hard to break some habits that I have had for about 2.5 years! But I am trying and I am sure I will get there eventually. Overall, my three main meals are relatively ok - it's just the snacking especially while at work that is real bad!

Off out shopping once Rachel wakes up, need to get her a booster seat as she is outgrowing her current ones (one in each car). And according to her she is getting a pink one! Just like she is going to wear pink bra's when she is bigger and is going to have a pink car etc! Ooooops, anyone would think she likes the colour pink! LOL

Until next time....

2009-05-14T21:18:00.002+12:00

Ooooops didn't realise that it had been a few days since I had done an update.

We had a very full on weekend, but lots of fun at the same time. It certainly was a very full house with three extra adults in the house - and 2 of them with long hair which I am still finding around the place! LOL Then on Sunday being Mothers Day, my mum, my sister (and her extended family) all came for lunch (pot luck) so it was a very full house but lots of laughter and fun!

Been to the gym both Tuesday evening and tonight with my new gym buddy Marianne who is a friend from work. It has been lots of fun and she certainly has kicked my butt to get me there as I have lacked a bit of motivation but once I am there - its look out here comes Karen! LOL Next workout is on Sunday morning as I just have to much on on Saturday already!

My eating still needs some fine tuning in some place, but am sure I will get there eventually. Oh weighed myself on Monday morning (after a full on weekend with no gym) and lost 500gms in my first week. Little disappointed but lots of extra food in the house so have moved on and getting on with it.

Rachel is doing really well and we are slowly starting toilet training with her - well creche are doing the hard work... though as I have said to Stephan, once they get her going wearing knickers etc that we will have to follow it all through over the weekends too which will be hard work but am sure we can do it.

Right, almost 9.30pm and time I was in bed as I am still struggling to catch up on my lost sleep from the weekend - late nights and early starts don't go down very well for me who is usually a 8+ hrs a night for sleeping!

Catch ya later :)

2009-05-09T10:32:00.002+12:00

Just thought I would pop on and do a quick post while the family are out visiting other family on the "other side" of their family who live around the corner from us. It is great fun having A, K & R here though it does make for a full house and for 2 cars to be used if we call go out to the same place. The three gals and I went out to Queensgate yesterday and shopped for 3 hrs! Well they shopped, and I just walked around keeping them company and helped them make decisions. They spent money, and I didn't! I may have been more inclined to have spent some, but had spent an hour at the dentist earlier yesterday morning, so after paying for that, I knew we couldn't really afford to spend money on impulse shopping! They did try to get me to spend my Farmers vouchers but what I liked and tried on just did not suit me at all which was unfortunate as I really did love one of the tops and would have gotten it had it fitted nicely. After that expedition, A and I went and picked up Rachel from creche and surprised her with a visit to see her old friends at her old creche which she just loved! K & R headed into town on the train for tea with a friend, and we stayed home and had fish and chips and then watched "Jack and Sarah" - a chick flick! :) Both A & I would loved to have opened a bottle of wine but A had a headache so wasn't feeling up to it and I was so tired that I knew one glass of wine and I would have been fast asleep!

Today, all the girls (i.e. everyone except Stephan) went and did the groceries which was quite a sight I think esp with A & I having discussion after discussion about who was paying for what! LOL Once we were home and unpacked, they borrowed the car and have gone visiting... Steph is reading the paper, Rachel is outside playing on her bike and I am here. Did contemplate going to the gym but am still sore from the dentist and the last thing I feel like doing is doing a work out and besides the PT did suggest only twice a week for the first 2 weeks or so until my body got used to it again.. I guess it does sound like excuses and they probably are but hey it's my decision... and as I type this I am starting to feel a bit guilty, so perhaps I may end up going afterall...

Got our pot luck dinner tonight, so that should be a good night out. Not sure how long Rachel will last but will play it by ear. Then tomorrow, we now have my mum, my sister (and her family) all coming here for a Mothers Day lunch! So that will be lots of fun!

Best I get going as Rachel is wanting to get her paddling pool out!!! Just a wee bit to chilly for that now! Must put it away in the shed so its out of sight!

2009-05-07T21:27:00.002+12:00

Well two sesssions and I feel good! Though only did some cardio today as I was still quite sore in some places from Tuesday so had a chat to one of the PT's and she suggested 30 mins of gentle cardio so did some time on the treadmill and bike. Roll on Saturday morning - all going well that is as we have family (stephan's cousins from Timaru) coming to stay with us tonight for 4 days.

Stephan has just headed to the airport to go and pick up his cousin, her daughter and her daughters friend. Gonna be a full house for us but also lots of fun, laughter and some drinking too!

Eating has been pretty good over the last couple of days, with a salmon salad yesterday and a chicken salad today. Have had a can of coke and a small pack of chippies too! Still have a way to go with my healthy eating but am DEFINTITELY better than what I was just a couple of weeks ago.

Work has been chaos the last couple of days with 2 staff down. It's probably quite lucky that my workload has been quite quiet (quite scary really) so I have been able to do lots of their work for them! Tomorrow they will be 3 down as I have booked a day's leave, one is still sick and the other one is on leave as well. I am planning on spending a great day catching up with A and the 2 girls. Though its now gonna get off to a great start with a dentist apt at 9.30am as I have had a filling (or two) fall out yesterday.

Right, time to get moving as there are still a couple of things to get done before Stephan gets home with our visitors.

Have a great weekend everyone.

2009-05-05T20:21:00.003+12:00

I survived!!!

Yeap I survived my first proper session at the gym! Was lots of fun and I really did enjoy myself once I got there! Did contemplate coming home instead for a couple of reasons but decided I should go to the gym to release my stress which I did and I am so glad I did go! I think I will be sore in the morning, but it's all worth it!!! Just gotta work out my routine for when I get home re tea, washing etc... am sure it will all fall into place once I get used to it!

Similar food to yesterday except replaced the salmon with tuna... definitely prefer salmon! No chocolate, but did have a can of coke and small bag of chippies! That was my "comfort" food for the way I was feeling with things that were happening! Trust me, all I wanted to do was to leave the salad in the fridge and go and buy something comforting i.e. pie, chips, something hot and yummy! But I DID resist that which I am very proud of!

Right off to hang out the nappies and put the next load of washing on...

2009-05-04T21:26:00.003+12:00

Still a bit sore today but getting there slowly...

Been a good day today - walked to work from the station (have been busing a bit lately) and then had a few crackers and grapes for morning tea. Salmon Salad (lettuce, tomatoes, baby carrots, cucumber and egg with tinned salmon) for lunch. Apple, grapes and some more crackers through the afternoon. One small bar of chocolate but am over that already. Am very proud that I have got through the day without my daily intake of coke and chippies! And oh can't forget almost 2 litres of water too... I certainly can't forget with the number of toilet stops I have done!!!

Gym tomorrow night - getting a bit nervous now but am sure I will be just fine.

Catch ya later

2009-05-03T14:07:00.010+12:00

Firstly make sure you are sitting down before you continue reading...

Are you sitting down???

Yes??

Good - now don't fall off your chair....

The news is......

I have joined a gym!!! Yes you did read that right - Karen who has gained 32 kilos back since losing 42 kilos has joined the gym!!! And yes I have indeed gained 32 kilos back since March 2006 when I discovered I was pregnant with Rachel!

It is something I have been contemplating for a while now, but money and time have always been the two biggest factors in my consideration of this desire! And seeing photos of me at my nephews wedding gave me a bit of a shock too and also upset me a wee bit!

Anyway, the other night Stephan and I were talking about many things... and it came up that now we are "saving" $70 per week with Rachel being in her new creche that I would like to consider either a gym or WW membership. He quickly got out of the rubbish a flyer that had come in the junk mail earlier that day, advertising a small local gym membership for $8.95 per week!!! Now that is one offer I could not refuse - and there was only 25 deals left at that price! So I rung the 0800 number, got my reservation number and went and met them on Thursday evening. All went well and Miranda who I met there was really helpful and understanding and I decided that if I didn't join up there and then that I would walk out of there and would probably not go back! So I signed on the dotted line and am now a member of the gym for at least the next 3 years!! Yeah it is a 3 year deal, but as I thought about the logistics of it all, when I was at the gym a few years ago, I went for just over 2 years and was only just at a decent level of fitness then... so to join for 3 years is not actually that bad when you look at the bigger picture of losing the weight and gaining the fitness and MAINTAINING the both of them!!!

Had my first assessment yesterday morning, all went well. 20 mins minimum of cardio per session and I then have 7 different weight/swiss ball exercises to do - all of which target different areas of my body! So I went through all of those with Annie, and then did 20 mins on the treadmill! BOY I FELT GOOD!!!! Okay, it was no where near as fast as I used to be but that will come with time! I am just a WEE bit sore today in a couple of areas but it feels good and as Tania said on Facebook - "no pain no gain" which is so true! So at this stage, I will be going Tuesday and Thursday evenings and on Sat mornings. So roll on Tuesday is all I can say!!! And oh even better, I have a friend from work who wants to lose a little bit of weight and increase her fitness join up as well, so we will be going together to keep each other motivated etc!!! BRING IT ON BABY!!!!!

So that's my news of the month!!! Now with the exercise more or less sorted out, time to work on the bad eating habits! I am NOT going to go cold turkey on it all, but will work on them slowly but surely! To start off with, I have bought a whole range of salad stuff when I did the groceries and also tins of salmon and tuna so will be having salads with either tuna or salmon for lunch. Couple of cruskits with Vegemite for morning tea.... and probably fruit for afternoon tea. A pot of yogurt in there somewhere too! Tea will be the same sort of things but more vegetables!!!

Rachel is doing really well at her new creche - has been asking for her old one a bit but is still happy enough to be dropped off at her new one. I think it is just the adjustment of the size difference. The old one had a roll of about 55 in total (over 3 rooms) and the new one is 22 in total (from 3mths to 5yrs)! She is definitely showing her stubborn traits at the moment causing run-in's with both her father and I at varying times! She is spending time in time out but is learning what is acceptable behaviour and what is not acceptable!

We have visitors coming to stay on Thursday through to the Monday which shall be lots of fun! Stephan's cousin from Timaru is coming up with her 21yr daughter and her daughters friend. They managed to get $10 flights on grabaseat sometime back and asked if they could come and stay with us! So am organising a pot luck dinner on the Saturday night with all of Stephan's family so it gives everyone a chance to catch up properly!

Anyway, time I was moving, it's 2.30pm so I need to wake Rachel (so she goes to bed ok this evening) and we are off to Queensgate to do a bit of retail therapy!!! Catch ya all later :)

2009-04-19T21:05:00.002+12:00

Well as it has been about a month since my last update, I thought it was probably time to do another one.

Not a lot to talk about really... weight is still sitting about the same as it was a month ago - goes up a bit and then down a bit... I have my sisters wedding in Jan that I would love to loose some weight for but its just a matter of finding my motivation. I have looked at WW online and at home... might have to call the 0800 number as I am a bit confused about a couple of things. They only have 1 local one and it starts before I get home so that is out of the question and I only have 30 min lunch break (if that) and it is a 10 min walk to the central city meetings so being able to go to meetings in town is out of the question too... at this stage anyway. My 23 year old niece is doing Optifast shakes and so far has lost about 12 kilos in 6 weeks. But then she is single, has the money and is living on 3 shakes a day! I don't totally agree with the shakes etc but she did suggest I could do 2 a day and then have a meal in the evenings with Stephan. But everything I have heard about people losing weight "doing" shakes is that they put weight back on when they start eating again. My niece is fairly relaxed in the sense of eating at her brothers recent wedding and then when she met me, her mother and a few others for lunch last week. But what she chooses to eat when she does have a meal is great choices and I am quite proud of her.

Rachel starts a new creche tomorrow (Monday 20th) so I am getting quite nervous about that but am sure she will be fine... she has been talking about it all week and talking about new creche, new friends, new toys, new teachers etc... so hopefully she will be ok. I will stay with her for a wee while tomorrow to settle her in and to show the teachers how her cloth nappies work etc... It is a brand new creche that only opened last week and there are 3 others from her "old" creche that will be there so at least she already knows some children there and 1 of them is a friend of hers. The main reason for changing is financial as the previous one has increased their fees yet again and we are going to be saving $70 per week for basically the same "services". It is a lot smaller but a couple of the teachers at her old one say that a smaller one will be more beneifical for Rachel so we shall wait and see.

Work has been busy as usual - still looking for something closer to home! But have not had much luck there but always have my eyes open.

Have been reading most blogs, but have been very slack in leaving comments so don't think I am not reading as I am... I just don't leave a comment but will try to make an effort to do that.

Have a good week everyone.

2009-03-23T14:26:00.010+13:00

Am pleased to be able to say that despite the wedding and all the celebrations of the last few days, I managed to record a loss of 1.1 kilos! Yay! Though the fact that I weighed in a few hours later than normal might just have something to do with it... not to sure about that though!

Am at home with a nasty headcold that came on yesterday morning (so after all the celebrations thank god) and has since gone to my chest as well... so am feeling rather sorry for myself but am pleased that I had already booked today off work but as Annual Leave to catch up on housework.... am pleased to say that the housework has not been done, and that I have just rested and blobbed all day (after getting up at 12pm)! Oh I have folded some washing but that's it as far as housework is concerned!

The wedding went fantastically well and the sun shone for the ceremony and the party afterwards! Ariana looked beautiful and the dress was stunning! Rob looked so handsome and so grown up! LOL Well am used to seeing him in shorts or trackpants and then suddenly here he is in a suit and looking so smart! It was a very casual affair which made it so nice and relaxing. Rachel had a ball of a time despite having very little sleep, got some awesome photos of her which I will share shortly. The bride has asked us not to share photos of the bridal party until she gets a chance to share her ones... okay that is mainly for Facebook but I will abide to her request on here as well since I have a few of you on Facebook too. But will share some of Rachel on here though (of course)!

It was lovely being able to spend some time with my brothers from Aussie and Christchurch and of course my big sister from Masterton too! Next wedding in the family is 9mths away and I am really going to try my best to loose some weight before Lynette's wedding as I am shocked at some of the photos that have been taken of me over the weekend (some of which I may share once I get a copy of them emailed to me) and as my brother so tactfully (not) pointed out - CAMERA'S DO NOT LIE!!!

Anyway, best I get moving as I have to meet Stephan at the bank in Lower Hutt to sign some documents as we have just done some jiggling around of some of our finances. Catch ya all later

2009-03-16T21:09:00.002+13:00

Hi all

Stayed the same this week... was a bit disappointed as I had jumped on the scales on Sunday morning and was down 1.1 kilos so was expecting a good result this morning. Not sure what happened in 24 hrs but never mind - that's life and life sure can be a bitch at times.

Rachel is doing well - becoming very independant and wanting to do everything herself which is very trying at times but I do love the way she does try to help around the home. Especially when she was helping mummy tidy up yesterday, she would pick things up and bring them to me to put away! LOL We had a couple of nice walks at the weekend - really wonderful walking at her pace and taking everything in. We did the big block which I could normally do in no more than 20 mins but it took Rachel and I a full hour but it was lots of fun.

We have my nephews wedding this Friday in Otaki so we are heading away for the weekend to stay up at Mums giving us the opportunity to catch up with my brothers who are coming over from Aussie and up from Christchurch. So it will be a fun long weekend for us and we are keeping our fingers crossed for a nice day as it is a garden wedding. I now have about 3 options for an outfit thanks to some amazing generosity of friends! Especially this one woman from the Parenting Forum I belong to (and have her on facebook) and she answered an SOS I had on Facebook asking me what size etc and said she would send some clothes down to me to borrow. They arrived today and when I emailed her to say that they had arrived, she has changed her mind and said I am able to keep them all (5 tops)!!! What a woman and I will be buying her a wee thank you gift this week! And when I was at a friends place on Friday night, she offered me the use of an amazing red dress (with black shots through it) plus also a couple of tops. Bar a couple of tops which are just a little bit tight, they all fit me and I am in heaven! I do love the Internet at times!!!

Right, time I was heading to bed and am hoping that Rachel will sleep a bit longer than this morning when she was awake just after 5am!! Though she is good and stays in bed chatting to her toys until we go into her room!

Catch ya all later

2009-03-10T21:26:00.002+13:00

Am disappointed to say that I had to record a gain of 900 gms this week... initially was gutted but am over it now and have to work on thing at a time! I WAS doing so well with the water intake but its gone downhill pretty quickly so will work on that one again this week. No one to blame but me so have built that damn bridge and am in the process of walking over it!

Got issues happening at work within our team so having a team meeting in the morning to "clear the air" so that should be interesting. It was supposed to be this afternoon but one of the team members was away sick... would have preferred an afternoon meeting so once it was over we could go home, reflect/sulk/think or whatever one wanted to do! But now it is in the morning, we will have to keep on working in what may end up being an uncomfortable atmosphere. Nothing I can do about that so will just wait and see!

Less than 2 weeks till my nephews wedding, have found out the details of the brides dress so I can ensure that the horseshoe that Rachel will give her will match the dress. Would hate to buy her a white one if she wore cream and vice versa! She is wearing platinum white so should be able to get one to match that ok. Great wedding shop in a suburb near by so will pop in there at the weekend to grab one for her. Found an awesome dress for young madam to wear on TM - $6.50 for a gorgeous Pumpkin Patch Princess Dress! Can't wait for it to arrive later this week! Guess she will just have to wear her sandals she already has as we can't really afford new shoes as well! And as for what I am wearing - I have no farking idea!!! I could leave it to the morning of the wedding and raid mum's wardrobe but no guarantee that I would find something I like or that it would fit correctly! No money to buy anything either... god life sure is a bitch at times!

Right, time for me to tidy up a wee bit and then head to bed... catch ya all later!

2009-03-02T21:22:00.010+13:00

Just a quickie before I head to bed...

Stayed the same this week so am ok with that considering we were out at Steph's parents place for dinner on Sat night and then had our friends Lynaire and Kev around for lunch (and a drink or two) on Sunday. Would have been nice to have a loss but that's life.

Had a crap day today from woe to now... so am looking forward to going to bed and hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Right here are the pixifotos that we had done 3 weeks ago... the one of her in the chair was the freebie that we had planned on taking and then running... but no we just had to buy some more! There were another 3 poses that we decided not to get... And oh these are photos of the original photos so the image is not the best.

2009-02-25T20:32:00.003+13:00

Bugger... didn't realise it had been a whole week since my last update! Time sure does fly by...

So what's been happening - not to much really.

For those not on FB - I will report in a gain of 700gms this week! :( No one to blame but myself for the crap that I chose to eat at times!

Had a visit from Janene on Monday evening and BOY OH BOY she is looking fantastic!!! And OMG the amount of clothes that she left for me is amazing! It has doubled the size of my wardrobe!!! Wore of pair of the work pants today and despite being just a little bit long they were really comfy! Thank you so much Janene and I look forward to getting to small for them as well and being able to pass them on to someone who needs them!

We got some pixifotos done of Rachel which have in turn almost bankrupted us with what they charge! But we are really pleased that we got them done as they are gorgeous! Have tried downloading them to here but because of the format (from being scanned at work) I can't get them to download so will need to take photos of the photos and then download them from the camera to here. So watch this space...

Oh I have been a whole 8 days with no coke...no coke zero... and oh just 1 V after a restless night with Rachel waking. I did buy one today but did not enjoy much at all!

Have got Stephan's fathers birthday dinner on Saturday night so need to make a nice dessert for that. Then on Sunday, we have our friends Lynaire and Kev coming for lunch so am going to make a salmon and potato frittata for that or perhaps a self crusting quiche.

But we did get some great news on Monday - Stephan's cousin (from Timaru) and her daughter and a friend of her daughters are coming to Wellington for a long weekend in May! They managed to get $10 seats on grabaseat so we are so looking forward to seeing her! I get on better with her than my own cousins and we are going to have a good wine and gossip session when she arrives. She is staying with us while her daughter and friend stay with friends in town and party on the town! :)

On another note, a dear friend of mine from work is going through a very worrying time as her father (in his 80's) had a standard op on his knee and has reacted to the morphine and is not well at all! Is currently in ICU and not recognising my friend or her mother! Very sad so am hoping for the best for them all!

Right, time to get moving... catch ya all later :)

Edited to add.... Annie thanks for your comment on my last post, I have just seen it. The gym that I was going to was a private one in Upper Hutt and was women only. Unfortunately, Robyn moved overseas and sold the gym. It has now moved into bigger premises and become open for both men and women! Oh - are you the same Annie (from Petone) I used to email ages ago??

2009-02-17T21:30:00.003+13:00

Hi all

Just a quickie before I head to bed...

I managed to lose 1.3 kilos this week which I am very happy with!!! I am doing a 8 week challenge on the parenting forum... first week I stayed the same, second week I gained 400gms.... so the loss this week has really made my day! Though, the chocolate I had today probably hasn't helped the scales move in the right direction.... oh well tomorrow is another day!

Went out for dinner last night with people from work (Few out of towners in town) and we went to a nice pub in Wellington and I had a yummy roast pork with veggies. It was really nice being out and about catching up with friends and fellow workmates.

Water has been a bit slack but I am trying :) Very trying as some would say! LOL Been to "scared" to try the corn thins in case I don't like them. I had a packet of them and a tin of tuna in my hand at the supermarket this evening but just couldn't bring myself to buy them! *chicken* LOL

Got my sisters wedding in Jan 2010, so should set myself a target for then... something small and reasonable like I did for my own wedding, cause once I got to the target (10 kilos) I was so pumped and just kept on going!!! Also got my nephews wedding in 4 weeks (my sisters oldest son) so nothing major gonna happen between now and then but will just keep on plodding on and would be very happy if I can lose a total of 5 kilos by then... but even 3 kilos lighter and I would be happy! We will probably go and stay at mum's for the weekend as the wedding (my nephews) is on a Friday and a BBQ is happening on the Saturday so might as well stay up the coast and relax and have a good time. Also my brother from Christchurch will be up, and my brother from Aussie will be here so it will be good chance to catch up with both of them.

Oh if any readers are on Facebook, and haven't added me as a friend yet, please do so (Karen Brownie) as I do post lots of photos on there and daily status updates as to how things are going.

Night all

2009-02-12T21:13:00.002+13:00

Hi everyone!

Gees starting to get the hang of regular blogging again... feels quite good.

Not that there is a lot to say.... water has been down to 1.5 litres the last couple of days which I am happy with. I have also created a rule for me and that is I have to have drunken at least 1 litre of water BEFORE I am allowed my daily can of Coke Zero. And it has worked so far... but then once I have my can, my water intake drops which I guess is a bit logical but am working on keeping the water intake up in the afternoons as well.

Thanks for the few ideas re snacks... I don't eat nuts - just don't like them... keep trying the occasionally but still don't like them :( I don't eat banana's as a whole fruit (unless I HAVE to)... hate the texture - but love banana muffins, cakes, loaves, smoothies etc... Might try the yoghurt idea and perhaps the corn thins as well. I hear lots about corn thins but never been "game" enough to try them so must "grow some balls" and try them! :)

Having a few work issues this week but am trying to work through them... but am definitely on the look out for a new role somewhere... Jules, I am in Upper Hutt so have a good 40 min train ride each way, plus the walking to and from the station. I had taken into consideration the price of transport when doing my figures. Anne - thanks for the WFF suggestion; I went to their website with a bit of hope however we are still over the limit... but it was worth a shot.

Going for coffee (well Hot Choc for me) and dessert with one of my best friends tomorrow night before she has her second child (due in 2/3 weeks) so am really looking forward to a girlie night out with no children interupting etc - just to be able to talk about what we want is going to be bliss. Then on Sat morning, Rachel and I have antenatal coffee group catch up just around the corner so that should be fun. Our group is quite a slack one as most of us have gone back to work and it's been over a year since we got all of the children together! But I have kept in touch with one in particular (the one who is hosting the morning tea) and her Jack and Rachel are really good friends (most of the time) so am looking forward to catching up with them.

Anyway, time to get ready for bed etc... catch ya all later :)

2009-02-10T21:11:00.003+13:00

Right, I thought I would make the time to do an update even though there isn't a lot to talk about really.

Well there is the job that I really wanted to apply for - only 5 mins from home (max) doing something slightly different to what I am now... but found out the salary range and it is about a $13K DROP!!! Even after taking off transport costs etc, we would still be short of about $300 in the hand per month and there is no way we can afford that! So the search goes on... and on... and on... am sure the right job is out there somewhere for me!

I did well with my water intake today - approx 2 litres! Most impressed and definitely the most water I have drunken in one day for a long time! Tried going without my Coke Zero and lasted till about 3pm when I "just had to have it" - had a thumping headache and it did go once I had my drink. I know I will have to go through the withdrawal symptoms when I do give it up but then again how bad is ONE can of Coke Zero a day??? Well apart the additives etc that are in there but that's beside the point! LOL

Gotta also come up with some ideas for afternoon tea snacks... fruit doesn't seem to do it for me nor does rice crackers. Oh the cheaper the better too... our grocery budget is very tight.

Right, feeling a bit down tonight, think I will head to bed. Catch ya all later

2009-02-07T16:10:00.002+13:00

Thanks to those of you who left comments after my last post only 4 days ago! Wow this must be a miracle - 2 updates within a week of each other!

Jules - you have raised some bloody good points in your comment and some of them have hit home and others I am still thinking about :) But yes I have been going over my old blog and yes I was updating almost every day when I was on my way down on the scales so that is one thing I want to get back into so watch this space.... :)

Am enjoying this long weekend, yesterday we had a pixi foto session booked for Rachel which ended up being a nightmare as she would NOT do anything she was asked either by myself or the photographer!!! Only reason we did it was that I entered some competition back in December and although we didn't win, we could pay the sitting fee of $7.50 and get a portrait sitting (10" x 13") free though the conditions did state that it was the first shot that was the freebie so fingers crossed that it was ok! We certainly don't have a spare $345 laying around to buy the set of 6 poses especially considering the uncooperative mood madam was in! So two weeks to wait until we get to see the finished results! We may be pleasantly surprised but part of me is hoping they are awful so I am not tempted to spend money we certainly don't have!

Ended up doing a couple of hrs of incedental exercise earlier on when I went on a mini housework spree! And trust me those do NOT happen often in this house! LOL First it was the bathroom and toilet, then Steph took Rachel out so I cranked up the stereo big time and tackled the vacuming (and dancing to footloose), cleaned the oven door (spilt dinner down the inside of the door last night), cleaned the cupboard doors, moved the dining room furniture, mopped the floor (Kitchen, bathroom, toilet), brought in the washing, hung out more washing and was just about to fold the washing when they arrived home! Was shattered by the end of that but it felt good to get it done.

Stephan is currently fixing the gates so Rachel can not escape! She had worked out how to open the previous latches but not that you needed to pull the gate too but it would not take her long. So we have put on new latches which will take a lot more effort to work them out! Will even take a bit more muscle for me to open them!

We have a 21st to go to tonight (must wrap the present) so we have Rachel's godmother Jo coming to babysit and then once she is here, we are going to have dinner in Lower Hutt somewhere before heading to the party. It's not going to be a late night though as we are both tired and I have had a headache off and on all day.

Time I was off my butt and get my daughter's tea organised (left overs from our tea last night) and have a shower etc...

Catch ya all later

2009-02-02T21:23:00.006+13:00

Yeah, I am still here - thanks to those of you who have emailed me or text me to ask if I am doing ok and if I am going to blog again.

6 weeks have past and in that time, we have had Christmas, New Year, my birthday, 3rd anniversary of Jude's passing and so much more.

I finished a 6 week challenge with fellow mums on the parenting forum - and ended it 800gms heavier than when I started! Oooooops *blush* but a challenge over Christmas and New Year was pretty damn hard! Started a new one last week, and with the first weigh in this morning - I stayed the same! Not such a great start but surely it can only get better.... I hope! I am only approx 11 kilos away from my first starting weight watchers back in Feb 2003! Bloody scary so I do need to get my Ass into gear but first I need motivation and confidence in myself! One would think that being so close to my heaviest weight would be enough motivation but it doesn't seem to be enough at the moment. I have a photo of me at my heaviest (and my lightest just before falling pregnant) at work, but it doesn't stop me snacking on the wrong foods.

I saw my Dr a couple of weeks ago and wanted to discuss the possibility of whether I have sleep apnea but it doesn't look likely so will just keep going and see how things go. I also discussed with her the possibility of WLS (Weight Loss Surgery) - she is behind me 110% however I just have to find the big $$$ required (as my Insurance would top up the rest of the money) in the form of lotto or a gift as there is no way we can afford to borrow it and have repayments for it on top of our current situation! I did talk to her about going on the public waiting list as I had heard that this was now an option HOWEVER the only criteria that I fit is a young overweight female... the rest I fail in - diabetes, high BP and high cholesterol - all of that is "perfect" for me - an extremely overweight woman! And they are only funding 6 per year as well.... but she does know the surgeon personally so she is going to keep her ear to the ground and if anything changes there she will be ringing me in a flash!

Work is pretty full on, in fact this role at the moment has to be one of the busiest ones I have had for quite some time! We used to have "quiet periods" but they just don't seem to exist these days at all! Am still looking for the "ideal" role in the Hutt Valley but still haven't found it. Have seen a couple of other payroll positions recently that look interesting but still located in town... in fact one of them would be train and then a bus as well so that would be extra cost as well as extra traveling time! So that is a no go for me despite the role looking interesting but the top of the salary range is only $2K more than I am currently on so not a lot of room for movement.

We had a very quiet Christmas Day itself but a very busy Boxing Day and day after with Stephan's sisters wedding on the Saturday. Rachel had a ball and enjoyed the chocolate and presents! My sister got engaged on New Years Eve to her partner of 4 years. He has 3 young teenage girls so she certainly is taking on a lot (after raising her 3 who are in their 20's)! Her eldest is getting married at the end of March so we are looking forward to that though it does feel damn strange talking about my nephew getting married (he is 27)! Makes me feel real old! LOL

Rachel is doing really well and coming along in leaps and bounds! Her language skills are amazing and talks continuously (wonder who she gets that from LOL) and is very independent and stubborn too! But then I guess those traits are pretty typical for a 2 yr old! She is now the "leader" of her room at Creche and often takes the room "shopping" - once she says she is going - everyone wants to go and follows her to the pretend shops etc! We had a one off success with her on the toilet but nothing since then - we are not pushing it at all - just letting her go when she wants to go and we do ask her each morning and night.... and if she doesn't want to go then we just let her be.

Christmas Morning

With "bum" cream on her face etc - think she was imitating daddy shaving!

On Nana D's birthday

Right, it's almost 10pm so time I was in bed... catch ya all later :)

2008-12-12T21:14:00.004+13:00

Well, I am back and still not sure how my blogging future looks but I will just take it one post at a time :)

I want to say a BIG THANK YOU to those that left wonderful supportive comments on my last post! A lot of what you gals said really hit home and has made me do some thinking! So fingers crossed, I may be SLOWLY getting back on track.

I have joined the latest Biggest Loser Challenge on the Parenting Forum that I belong to and in the first week I stayed the same... probably would have had a loss but I forgot to weigh myself in the morning, so did it when I got home and I was the same as I had been the week before but first thing in the morning. The more I think about it, the more I think I may need to go back to daily weighing as that really does keep me on track. I know it doesn't work for everyone and that there are some of you who definitely don't agree with it... I don't really agree with it either but the times I have been successful in losing weight has been when I was doing daily weighing. But will see how I go with this challenge.

Though, I must be honest and say that I should definitely get a good loss this week (weigh day is Monday) as I have had a tummy bug/food poisoning for 6 days, and when I weighed myself yesterday about mid afternoon, I was almost 2 kilos down! I have eaten a little bit today... but do still need to watch what I eat and how much I eat otherwise I end up back at square one again! Oh I should add here how my darling Rachel told the teachers that "mummy sick, sore tummy' lots poos"! How embarrassing! LOL

Took a days sick leave yesterday as we had our units christmas lunch and I decided that I was not going to sit at a restaurant and watch everyone eat... nor was I going to go, eat and then be crook again today... nor was I gonna be the silly fool that stayed behind and worked! LOL After dropping Rachel off at creche I went back to bed and slept till almost midday! And then had a very quiet afternoon just blobbing! Then today, I had already booked Annual Leave so decided to go ahead and have today off as well... though I was a write off until about 10.15am with a very crook stomach but not loose motions this time... the diastop had done its trick - they were firm but very continuous for over 2 hrs! But once I came right, I went and completed my Christmas Shopping... and then did the groceries before coming home for a wee rest before picking up Rachel a bit earlier and then back to the local mall to post off the Christmas cards and Rachel had a ball helping me put the stamps on them all! Though I do now recall why I prefer Rachel in the buggy rather than walking... OMG! What a nightmare in the Warehouse! Not so much touching but going in her own direction!

I have a hair cut in the morning, then catching up with a friend and her daughter who is slightly older than Rachel in the afternoon.. then maybe some other friends in the evening... Then on Sunday, we have the Annual Summer Party at Stephan's parents place though this year, one of his sisters has combined her 40th with it! So a busy weekend ahead of us.

And on that note... a few recent photos of Rachel and then I will sign off and head to bed. Tummy bugs certainly zap you of all energy!!!

Oooops photos are backwards when it comes to the dates of them... but never mind, they are still cute or so I think anyway :)

Good night :)

2008-11-27T09:15:00.000+13:00

Yeah it sure has been quite some time since I last posted on here… just running out of enthusiasm for this blog. Struggle to find the time and energy to update… and to be honest I seem to be running out time of time even read my favourites as well! I when do sit down and catch up… I don’t have the time to leave comments… perhaps I should just give this whole blogging thing up for once and for all???

Rachel had a lovely 2nd birthday party with immediate family and her 2 “best” friends – Maddie and Jack. We were so lucky with the weather as on the Saturday we had heavy rain and wind etc… and then on the Sunday we had beautiful blue sunny sky and it got quite warm! So that was lucky as it meant that the kids (big and small) could play outside as things had dried up quite well. Am writing this from work so no photos available to share at this stage but will try to post some soon… hopefully before her 3rd birthday! LOL Rachel got very spoilt especially in the clothes department – her wardrobe is worth so much more than mine! LOL and OMG she has a shopping fetish already!!! All she wants to do is shop – whether it is grocery or whatever…. She loves shopping!!! She often picks up one of her bags, and says she is off shopping for treats or food etc... It is just so cute! Her speech is amazing and is often commented on by family, crèche and friends at how well she does speak. We can not believe how fast she has grown up and has become Miss Independent! Next job on the list is Toilet Training… she knows when she has done #2’s and always tell us after it has been done… and sometimes will tell us as soon as she has done wee’s too! So am hoping over the summer she will get an opportunity to run around with no pants on and start to learn to use the toilet.

Work has been full on, especially throughout November with the boss being away for the whole month. I was boss for the first couple of weeks and then a colleague had a turn at being boss. But it has been full on and very stressful. He is back on Monday but in a roundabout way it has been a nice month as we have agreed that the boss does have a tendency to make situations even more stressful than things already are.

Overall, my state of mind is not that great at the moment… I lay in bed last night listing the things that are worrying/stressing me and I was quite surprised at how big the list was. Some of things I know there is not a lot I can do about them i.e. money and the endless bills, missing my friend Jude who passed away almost 3 years ago like crazy at the moment (it was her birthday on Monday), missing Dad like crazy too (Dad’s birthday was on Tuesday) – wishing they were both here to know Rachel and to watch her grow up! But other things, like my weight, lack of will power and motivation, sweet fuck all exercise, eating crap food continuously… I CAN do something about these but do I choose to – NO! As I keep putting these things in the “to hard basket – lets deal with it another day”! My weight is creeping up, up, up… and last time I weighed myself (about 1 mth ago) I was only about 15 kilos off my heaviest weight! That freaked me out big time and one would have thought that it may have been enough to kick start my motivation again… but has it? NO NO NO… I continue to eat and drink crap! I continue to sit on my fat arse! I continue to moan about everything and still do nothing about it! The Parenting Forum that I belong to has continuous Weight Loss challenges and I have joined 3 of them so far and have dropped out of them all! There is another one starting on Monday but I just don’t think I can do it… I am not in the right frame of mind yet I know I want to do something about this before I am back at 129.2 kilos or god forbid even heavier!!!

Anyway, I am at work so guess I should be doing some work since that is what I am paid for. I just wanted to get some of that off my chest…

I might be back… I might not… thanks to anyone who is still reading or checking in here…

2008-10-15T20:54:00.002+13:00

You will recall in my last post that I had a barking cough... well the next day (Fri 3 Oct) I awoke to having no voice whatsoever... and 13 days later I still have no voice!!! Yes some may say how peaceful things may be and how lucky Stephan is but I can tell you that 13 days is far to long to be without a voice! Oh I can whisper but that is my limit! I thought I was getting it back last Friday (so 8 days later) but by Sunday evening I was back to square one if not worse than I had initially started with! I had worked all of last week with no/minimal voice but was getting increasing frustrated at not being able to communicate freely with team members etc... and obviously by continuing to work meant my voice was not getting a rest at all! And evenings and weekends are self explanatory with Rachel around!

Sunday evening and Monday (while at work) I then started the nasty barking again - and was spending a lot of time coughing up phlegm. So stayed home on Tuesday and was able to get an appointment to see the Dr - so now on top of the laryngitis, I have a chest infection and an inflamed throat! So am on Antibiotics and am really hoping that they will kick in sooner rather than later as I am so over being sick! This year has been a bad one for me health wise so am really hoping that next year can only be better for me! The Dr put me off work for the week since a bit of my work involves phone work and even if I put my phone on divert, there is still the general day to day chattering etc... So have had 2 days of peace and quiet and saying sweet bugger all! The only talking I am doing is first thing in the morning getting Rachel ready for creche and talking.. oooops whispering to the teachers in the morning. Then again in the afternoon when Rachel and Stephan arrive home. So am roughly getting 8 hrs of no talking which surely must help a wee bit! Am not sure what I should do if I still have no voice on Monday when I am due back at work - will face that hurdle at the time should it arise and it will also depend on how I am feeling too I guess!

Right changing the subject now.... one of the local radio stations is going to be running a 6 week "Fit and Fabulous" competition which is basically going to consist of 2 teams of 4 people having full access to a gym, Personal Trainers, dietitians, etc etc... and the "winner" gets a trip for 2 to Fiji. Am considering sending in an application for this, but the gym that is sponsoring it is at the other end of town and I know that will be a major issue for me time wise etc... but it is tempting - will keep thinking about it.

Only 2 weeks and 3 days until Rachel turns 2!! Can't believe that has come around so quickly! Still have no idea what we are going to get her as a "main" present as yet - and whether we get something extra special as a combined Birthday and Christmas present. She now a right real helper and loves "watching/helping/seeing" everything we do! Loves carrying her stool around so she can stand on it to watch us do whatever it may be doing at the time! At times, it is so cute but at other times it can be frustrating especially when one is in a hurry in the mornings but I just try to grin and bear it! Her language is coming along in leaps and bounds and it is so scary what she takes in and comes out again with a few days/weeks later! She has a memory like an elephant! LOL

Anyway, time to get moving and start organising myself for bed... catch ya later :)

2008-10-02T13:05:00.003+13:00

Another month over and another month begins! I simply cannot believe that we are in October already!!! As someone pointed out the over day - this time in 3 mths we will be in 2009!!! How scary is that??? Well to me that is quite scary indeed! Time sure does fly by faster as you get older! Well in my eyes it does!

So what's been happening lately for us... well not a lot really. I am currently at home with a barking cough (thanks Rachel for sharing your germs with Mummy)! I did go to work yesterday for an important meeting in the morning which had been postponed from last week due to me being away so thought I would make the effort to go in to work - by the time the meeting was over the whole team was telling me to piss off and go home! Got a telling off from the Acting GM as well (who is a very special lady for a number of reasons) for coming to work and sharing my germs! So yeap every couple of hours or so I seem to be coughing my guts out which ain't nice at all and very painful as well. Touch wood - it was been 3 hrs since my last bathroom visit so fingers crossed I am starting to get over the worst of it. I have had a lot of people tell me that they too have had this nasty cough and it takes WEEKS to go away! Flaming Nora - that is the last thing I wanted to hear and I really do hope it does not hang around that long for me!

Last week I was off work for 4 days (should have been 5 but that's another story) after I sprained/twisted my hip while putting Rachel into Time Out on the Saturday evening. It was one of the most painful things I had done - the pain I was in on Saturday night while trying to sleep was unbelievable! Off to the Drs on Sunday and got some GOOD anti inflammatories and pain relief! Thought he might say take a couple of days off but no he wanted me to rest for the whole week! By Thursday I was getting bored so went to work on the Friday which was good in a way work wise but bad for me and my hip!

I have also been having panic attacks during the night lately... I was getting these a bit this time 2 years ago - so in other words when I was heavily pregnant with Rachel. I wake during the night, and have trouble breathing and every time I lay down I just freak out! Tried sleeping sitting up but that's not something I can do very well! Actually while typing this I am thinking that perhaps I should dig out my rescue remedy though if I recall rightly it didn't help much 2 years ago but nothing stopping me trying it again. I am actually wondering if it is weight related (am heavier now than at full term with Rachel by about 8 kilos) but only one person can doing anything about that and that person is ME, MYSELF and I!!! And I really do hope that I can do something real soon!!! The parenting forum that I belong to have regular "Biggest Loser" challenges which are very popular indeed and I have tried a couple of them but just end up pulling out as I don't get anywhere. There are some marvellous mums who do the challenges and some of them have lost in the excess of 15+ kilos over the last 4 challenges! Challenge 5 is about to start so am giving that some serious thought currently.

Rachel is doing really well - and we still can not believe that she will be 2 in 4 weeks time! She is a real "helper" around the house - loves putting away the groceries with us and helping me clean the bathroom etc... She is petrified of the vacum cleaner though! It came on suddenly about 10 mths ago and I think in that time I have managed to get it out of the cupboard and vacum the house twice without her screaming hsyterically! Even with Steph here to comfort her, she goes to town with the screaming and tears. A couple of friends have suggested leaving it out in the hall or lounge for her to get used to and to explore while its off but we have a small house and don't really have the space to do that - well not with her stuff everywhere! :) Keep thinking of getting her a battery operated toy one for her birthday or Christmas but not 100% sure if that will help or not. We even dug out the dustbuster and hoped that might help her a bit but nope it hasn't so far.... I do have some great photos of her but they are not downloaded off the camera yet - must do that sometime soon!

Anyway, think I have rambled on enough to bore anyone who is still reading to tears! Will catch ya all later :)

2008-09-18T20:25:00.002+12:00

Ooooops, it's been awhile since my last post but lately its just been a total lack of energy and time in the evenings.

I have gone back to full time hours at work (just finished the 2nd week) and the extra hr that I am working each day is really knocking me for six at the moment though the bank account is liking it. It is hard getting home at 6.10pm and getting straight into either bathing Rachel or organising dinner (Steph and I alternate these each night). So most nights I don't get the chance to sit down and "relax" until about 8.30pm or so... and then it is to check emails, parenting forum, perhaps a quick glance at Trade Me, and occasionally a blog read if I have the time.

Had a mental health day off work today as I just couldn't do it today, was feeling rather emotionally run down, and rather blah/blue so top that with a bit of a headache I decided that I would stay home. So after dropping Rachel off it was home to bed for another few hours of dosing off and on... had a relaxing afternoon and did a bit of retail therapy for Rachel as she desperately needed some new shoes and sandals along with some creche clothes so popped up to Save Mart and scored some good bargins there for clothes and also won a TM auction for 4 pairs of shorts for $6 so she has an initial set up for summer but still needs some more shorts and t-shirts to see her through for creche considering the mess she gets into!

Speaking of Rachel, she is growing so fast and I find it hard to believe that we are starting preparations for her 2nd birthday party in just 5 weeks time! Still trying to decide what to get her as her "main" present - got a couple of ideas but nothing definite as yet. Just having a family and couple of friends party due to the lack of space in our house so just gotta hope for a fine day as with just family and 2 friends coming the numbers are in the low 20s! Just having an afternoon tea and am getting the cake made by my bosses sister who owns a cafe across from work - she is doing a great deal for me so am looking forward to seeing her creation :) Rachel is speaking so well now and is coming out with new stuff all of the time. I can't wait for summer to be here so we can take her to the beach and all of that fun stuff. She has a swing at home and was given an old trampoline by one of the mums at daycare, and we have taken her suggestion on board and have it on pieces of 6x4 blocks instead of legs so she can get off and on it herself when she wants to. She loves to "jump jump" and to "go go go".

Not a lot more happening really - I THINK I may be SLOWLY getting back into the right frame of mind to start getting healthy again... no getting excited as yet but hopefully with the warmer weather and it getting lighter again with Daylight savings, I may get out and do some walking... And eating wise - well once again I am SLOWLY trying to change my bad snacking habits. I would love to get back into going to a gym but with now working full time, I just don't see when I would be able to go during the week and obviously I would need to go more frequently than just the weekends.

Oh, we have 2 weddings and a 21st to go to between late Dec and March so it's gonna be a busy time for us. The wedding in March is my eldest nephews wedding and it makes me feel so old to think that my nephew is getting married! He will be 27 by then but still in my mind he is so young... but at times he is more like my brother since we are only 10 years apart in age. The other wedding is one of Steph's sisters so that will be another great celebration. The 21st is my friend Lynaire's daughter and is child free so must line up a babysitter for that evening.

Anyway, this has taken me over an hour to write as am watching Criminal Minds at the same time. But my feet are freezing for some reason tonight... it's turned cold this evening after the warmer weather we had started to get used to. Roll on Summer!

Catch ya all later

2008-08-20T21:02:00.006+12:00

Hi all

Well almost 3 weeks since my last update... and well not a hell of lot has been happening really.

Let me see - I am still hating winter and am so over it and the germs that it brings and the use of the clothes horse, dehumidifier, dryer (occasionally) etc... but I guess that it is only 10 more days until the 1st day of Spring and it is also getting lighter in both the morning and the evenings - very slowly but it is happening! Daylight saving is only 5 weeks away as well so that will be great as well.

Though speaking of Daylight saving, it will be interesting to see how it affects Rachel this year now she is getting older - the last couple of changes haven't really affected our household too much.

Mum is still away on her 8 week trip - well now I think of it I am not sure if I have mentioned this in earlier posts or not. Mum was selected as part of a NZ team to represent NZ at a seniors petanque tournament in the States at the beginning of July. Then my eldest brother in Ireland said, well since you are there you may as well visit us, and then it was decided that she would visit my baby bro in South Africa and then another of my elder bro's in Aussie while she was travelling. So her trip consisted of 2 weeks in the States (including a 7 day cruise), 2 weeks in Ireland (including 4 days in France to see my brothers B&B they have set up), 2 weeks in South Africa, then 2 weeks in Australia!!! She is in Melbourne on her last stretch at the moment and has been having a total ball of a time while away! I told her to find herself a nice, loving gentleman on the cruise so she wouldn't be lonely anymore but doesn't sound like she did! So only 9 more days until she returns... we are picking her up from the airport and then taking her home, will have an early tea with her before coming home again.

Steph and I are both on Annual Leave at the moment - we had 2 weeks off and had hoped to head to Taupo but that wasn't able to be done so we have had almost 2 weeks at home (back to work on Monday) and it has been fantastic! The first couple of days were spent getting all of our "clutter" out of my friends garage where we had been storing it when we had the house on the market and going through all of that. We have biffed heaps and donated heaps as well to either the Sallies or to Pregnancy Help (most of Rachel's baby clothes and a few other bits and pieces). It was really rewarding being able to do that and to help others who are less fortunate than ourselves. Rachel was at creche for these two days and that worked really well as we got so much done without her "helping us"! Then on the Wednesday we took Rachel for a day trip into Wellington on the train which she loved. She did really well esp since she really only had about 2 20 min naps rather than 1 big sleep of approx 2 hrs! It was a great day out :) On the Thursday, we met creche at the library for story time there and she was a right little ratbag to put it mildly... but it was fun being part of the parent help there :) Friday - it was back to creche for her and some blobbing time for us :) We spent the day in Masterton with my sister and her family on Sunday which was great though Rachel had developed a slight cough but we all still had fun.

Monday, Rachel woke very miserable and very clingy... turns out she has tonsillitis and mild asthma so she is on ventolin for the asthma and some strong AB's for her throat. So we have had a couple of very quiet days with a very clingy, miserable little girl... took a couple of photos of what she was like :(

Thankfully she is looking a lot better now! *phew* We had planned to go to the Zoo today as they have $5 wacky Wednesdays in August but I was not happy that the cold air would be good for Rachel so we had another quiet day at home but I can tell you we really are getting tired of Hi 5, Love 2 sing, The wheels on the bus DVD's!!! Her fav Wiggles one had been loaned to a friend which we are getting back tomorrow so I think I am actually looking forward to it as I am so over Hi 5 etc!

We will reassess the weather tomorrow and Friday and might head to the Zoo one of those days as the AB's have definitely started working but obviously don't want to make her go down hill again...

Enough of our boring family life... what else has been happening with us??

Am returning to full time hours (extra 45 mins a day for me) by end of September - just need to organise Stephan's hours with his boss so must remember to write that letter in the next couple of days so he can give it to him on Monday when he goes back to work.

Am considering selling Tupperware for a 3mth trial to see how things go - we really need the money and I do love Tupperware. So have Annie (the Area Manager who I would be reporting to) coming to see us tomorrow morning to chat everything through so am pretty nervous about all of that especially standing up in front of people talking but then it could end up being good for me and my self confidence.

Am really wanting to join a gym and have been hearing so many good reports about Configure Express here in Upper Hutt... would love to get back into that side of things but to be honest I can't see myself coping mentally and physically with the fulltime work, tupperware and going to a gym so am dealing with the other 2 for now and then will see how things are going so I can reassess things.

I am only approx 16 kilos off my starting weight when I started this journey back in 2003. I am shit scared of getting back to that weight and I DO NOT want to get back there but at the same time I can not get in the right frame of mind when it comes to eating and drinking the right foods. Only I can do this for me and having been down this road before I know I have to want to do it for ME not for others! But for my sake (and Steph's and Rachel's) I have that motivation comes soon! I know I wouldn't succeed if I was forced to do anything so I need to want to do it myself!

Anyway, I started this about an hour ago and between eating corn chips, watching the Olympics, and hanging out washing I think I may have rambled enough and bored you all shitless! In fact if you are still here reading - well done!

Before I go, just a couple more photos of my girl before she got sick..

ABC courtesy of Janene

2008-07-31T07:44:00.002+12:00

A - Age: 37

B - Bed size: Queen size but I do wish we had a king or super king at times

C - Chores I hate: Cleaning the bathroom and dusting!

D - Dessert I love: Trifle, fruit salad, baileys cheesecake

E - Essential start to my day item: Alarm clock

F - Favourite actor(s): Leonardo Di Caprio, The Wiggles LOL and yes there are definitely more...

G - Gold or Silver: Gold

H - Height: 5 ft exactly!

I - Instruments I play: Piano but it has been quite some time since I played. I did learn the violin at college but that did not last long.

J - Job title: Payroll/HRIS Officer

K - Kids: 1 beautiful daughter aged 21mths who is growing up so damn quickly! Where has the time gone?

L - Living arrangements: Me, Stephan and Rachel. No pets any longer but we do look after the daycare lovebirds for the occasional weekend.

M - My full name is: Karen Mary

N - Nicknames: Kaz, Doylie (take off from maiden name)

O - Overnight hospital stay: 1 broken ankle (3 night), 1 birth (2 nights), 1 suspected meningitis (1 night)

P- Pet Peeve: Being late, or waiting for people who are late. Although if other people are late it makes me feel better about not being the last person to arrive.

Q - Favourite quote: "If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children."
Anon

R - Right or left handed: Right handed

S - Siblings: 4 brothers and 1 sister

T - Time you woke up today: 5am when Rachel woke upset... didn't really go back to sleep despite not getting up till 6am

U - Unique habit: Not very unique but I am untidy and want to work on that

V - Vegetable I hate: Egg Plant

W - Wish for: A Lotto win and then another baby :)

X - X-rays I’ve had: Ankle, knee, wrist (was always spraining/twisting them when younger)

Y - Yummy food I make: Muffins, Lasanga.... can't think of anything else at this stage

Z - Zodiac Sign: On cusp of Capricorn and Aquarius

Now whats everyone elses A - Z. ? Would love to read some others. Easy peesy, just cut and paste and fill in your own answers.

2008-07-26T13:10:00.002+12:00

Another cold and wet weekend is upon us and we are nearly in August as well! I just can not believe how fast the year is flying by! Only 3 mths until Rach turns 2!

I am sick of washing inside on the clothes horse
I am sick of the dehumidfier going all day/evening long
I am sick of the bloody gas heater we use as we can not afford decent heating
I am sick of the big power bills
I am sick of the wet lawn and not being able to mow the lawns
I am sick of the cold miserable train rides to and from work
I am sick of the colds/bugs going work and daycare
I am sick of the amount of money our groceries now cost
I am sick of the price of petrol and the affect it has on our outings

Okay moaning over... just had to get that out of the my system! LOL There are lots more things I could add but are more personal so will hold back on those ones for now as there is generally only one person that can do anything about them and that is me!

Rach is in bed as I write this and it was only the second time ever that she has fought her day sleep! So after about 45 mins of perservering she crashed and has been fast asleep for an hour so far. Fingers crossed we get our usual 2 hr weekend sleep today. While she has been in her room I decided to make dinner for tonight so it was one job out of the way so have whipped up a lasanga and it smells fantastic! Forgot to get the garlic bread when doing the groceries, so will pick some up later when we got out. So it means Rach can have some of it tonight for tea (rather than waiting till tomorrow night) and then it means that Steph just has to reheat when we decide to have tea (actually his turn for cooking but its what I felt like so I cooked it).

Steph is helping friends of ours move at the moment and once Rach wakes up, her and I will head down to Lower Hutt to help out as well if we can. It's Steph's birthday tomorrow and as our budget is quite tight, rather than a birthday present he wanted a nice homecooked roast meal... so tomorrow night we are having roast beef with the works! Can't wait as it's gonna be so yummy! Initially it was going to be roast pork but that was a bit pricey so he chose the beef instead. And it is a nice size as well so should get a couple of meals plus some sandwiches out of it.

Rach is really into "The Wiggles" right now but the only problem is that we still only have the one DVD which is watched over and over and over and over and over... Steph and I know it off by heart! LOL So must get her a couple more of them so at least we can get some variety. We do have a "Hi5" DVD as well but Rach is not interested in it at all! We do have some other childrens DVD's but they are more movies than anything else so she is still a bit young for those. I watch auctions on TM but the price most these DVD's go on there is dearer than The Warehouse which is frustrating. So will pop back to The Warehouse when we can to choose some more. And then for her birthday we are going to get her the Hairy McLary DVD which has 10 of his short stories on it. I know I am looking forward to watching that one! LOL Rachel also has a fetish for bags! LOL Apparently at daycare she is known as "the bag gal" so am looking out for some little bags for her as well.

Oh shit - just realised that I told the boss that I would probably go to work this afternoon to finish off my filing which I have been working on this week! Oh well that's life I guess. And with it being Steph's birthday tomorrow I won't go in then so guess that waits till next Sunday then as I am busy the next 2 Saturdays! :)

Oh in 2 weeks time, both Stephan and I have got 2 weeks off work!!! We are still wishing that we were going to Taupo but that's life! But we are looking forward to the time off work and getting some things done around the house... and we will keep Rachel home some of the days as well and do some family things like the Zoo and catching up with friends.

Anyway, best I get moving as there are more things I need to get done before Rachel wakes up... just thought I would pop in and say hi to you all.

Catch ya later

2008-07-08T20:58:00.006+12:00

Hi all

Okay, I really am getting slack at this whole blogging thing as you guys already know! Not only have I not been updating my one, but I have been so slack in reading others as well!

Been going through heaps in the last few weeks, I have been fighting a throat infection for the last 3 weeks now! And now it is really starting to wear me down. I went to the Drs 3 weeks ago and got a course of AB's and within 4 days of finishing them, it came back though not as bad. And for the last 2 weeks now, it has come and gone every 48hrs or so! Tonight is one of my bad nights, feel like crap and my throat and right ear is so sore as well as having a nasty cough which makes every bone in my body ache when I cough! Can't really afford to go back to the Drs so am trying to persevere and plod on but at times it really does get me down. I did take a day off work last week and felt so much better for it but couldn't really afford to take any other time off but am now finding myself agreeing with a dear work collegue in Christchurch who thinks I should take a few days off to just rest and do nothing to recover properly rather than running myself ragged! Think I may take tomorrow off but will see what sort of night I have and how I am in the morning. Though, my bosses grandmother passed away this afternoon so am unsure when he will be away and for how long!

Rachel has also had her fair share of bugs in the last few weeks with one weekend being very scary and almost ending up at the hospital with her. She does seem ok at the moment but on saying that there are chicken pox going around daycare and we noticed a couple of red dots/marks on her face this evening so am guessing that time will tell if she is coming down with them or not. Lets see what the morning holds for us...

Am so over the 5am wake up calls lately! She has always been an early waker, but used to wake and just lay there chatting away to herself but for the last 5 days or so, she wakes at 5am crying and if we lay there seeing if she will go back to sleep she just works herself up more and more. So, it means getting up and giving her a cuddle etc and explaining to her that it is still night time and she should be sleeping. Once I am back in bed, all I can hear is her laughing and chatting away to herself, and then of course my alarm goes off at 5.45am so am losing out on 45 mins sleep each day at the moment and it is really wearing me down! Found myself yelling at her this morning which really upset me so once I had calmed down, I sat down with her and apologised for yelling at her and explained that mummy was very tired and not well and I was so sorry. And then she gave me lots of cuddles and a kiss too! I hate yelling at her but just lost it this morning.

Rachel is also approaching that "terrible 2's" stage, and is very quickly learning the art of tantrum throwing! This is proving very trying for all of us but we are getting there slowly but surely...

It is my Dad's 6th anniversary today and I am missing him so much! Am so sorry that Rachel will never get to know him in person, just all the wonderful stories that she hears about him and the photos we have of him! Mum is away overseas at the moment so am feeling rather lonely family wise right now... Mum is spending 2 weeks in the States (including a 6 day cruise) representing NZ at some senior Petanque tournament. Then she is spending 2 weeks in Ireland with my eldest brother (and his family), then 2 weeks in South Africa with my baby brother (and his family) and then 2 weeks in Melbourne with another brother (and his family) before coming home at the end of August.

Work is extremely busy at the moment as we had a resignation of one of our team members and another one is off on ACC! So we have a temp and another staff member on a secondment so it's pretty full on especially with all the questions that we are getting all day! Have had a couple of interviews for new jobs but unfortunately I missed out on both of them! One of them was a local role and I really, really wanted it but I missed out to someone who had used to temp there so knew the system etc...

Stephan and I both have 2 weeks Annual Leave in August, and had hoped to go away for a few days to Taupo to see a dear friend and her family who used to live in Wellington however the budget is not going to allow this to occur now so it's gonna be a couple of quiet weeks at home but we both need the break away for our respective jobs. Rachel will probably still spend time at daycare but will also keep her home for some of the time to catch up with friends and to do daytrips around the place.

Anyway, I have rambled on for long enough now... so will end with a few photos of Rachel before heading to bed!

2008-06-13T12:54:00.002+12:00

1/2 way through June already! Where on earth have the last 6 mths gone???

Am at home today with a grumpy, clingy, miserable, tired girl... well ok she is currently sleeping so hopefully won't be tired when she wakes up! Got a call from Daycare to collect her early yesterday (at lunchtime) as she was very miserable and coughing lots... but by the time I got there she had had a sleep and was her normal cheeky self and started showing off etc! Brought her home and we had a quiet afternoon, she had a reasonable night but woke at 5am extremely chatty and talked to herself for an hour before I got her up. I had made a Dr appt for her for this morning when we had gotten home yesterday so was tossing up whether to go ahead with it or not but after watching her for a wee while and she was crying at everything and kept say "sore"... went to the Drs and am glad we did as she has one badly infected ear with the other one on the borderline of infected... and her chest is quite rattly so Dr told me what to look out for in regards to asthma as Dr thinks Rachel could be developing that but time will tell. So after getting home, she had some lunch and a little play but then we had a HUGE battle to get her to have a sleep - think she cried (read screamed) for about 5 mins before going to sleep and an hour later she is still asleep.... yay!!!

We are going to do the groceries once she wakes up so that should fill in some time for us :)

I have a bit of cold as well so am quite pleased to be having a quiet day...

Ummmm what else is new... not a lot really. Got a family lunch on Sunday at Mum's as Mum heads overseas for 8 weeks on 3rd July and this was the only day that suited Mum! Boy she has a better social life than we do! LOL Guess that's what happens when you are on so many committees etc :) At least it keeps her busy and occupied. :)

Oh I have got a few jobs on the go at the moment, I had an interview for one on Wednesday which I felt went really well and was told that I should know by the end of the week (i.e. today) whether I have made it to stage 2 which includes physicometric testing and another interview with the big boss so am anxiously waiting for my cellphone to ring. I guess I would say I am 75% confident of making it through to stage 2 but time will tell... this job is still doing payroll but also includes some finance work (i.e. helping with FBT, accruals etc) so that will be great. The other great thing is that it is closer to home which is always a bonus! And the best thing is that a great friend of mine already works there and if I am lucky enough to get the role, I would be sitting approx 10 metres away from this friend! YAY! She also put in a good word for me to the HR manager so fingers crossed.

There was one other role in Upper Hutt that I applied for - it was not payroll but needed a lot of the attributes that I had from doing payroll work. Didn't even get an interview for that one! The other 3 are still in town and doing payroll but paying more... so thought there was no harm in going forward for them.

I have joined another challenge to help me lose some weight as well... this one is an 8 week challenge on the parenting forum that I belong to so fingers crossed that this motivates me as I DO need to do something as I am only 18 kilos away from the weight I was when I started my journey in Feb 2003. I have got so many bad habits that I have gotten into so I need to work on them one at a time as I am sure if I tried stopping them all at once, I would go berserk and overboard!

Anyway, time I got moving as this is hurting my back sitting typing this (hurt myself yesterday in a fall at daycare when dropping Rachel off).

Catch ya later :)

A few photos...

2008-05-18T20:55:00.005+12:00

Look Mum I can wash my hair!!!

In my big red car...

Nope I am not going to smile for you Mum!

It's my party and I will be silly if I want to... (her last day at in the nursery room at Daycare)

My first day sleep in my big bed (but am still in cot at night time)

We have also had some professional ones done so just need to scan them before I can share them with you...

Not much to say really - still plodding on. It is such a relief having the house off the market and not having to stress about keeping it tidy and the open homes etc... Scored Rachel 3 pairs of shoes from the Warehouse today - $5 a pair (normally $18 each) so that should do her nicely for winter hopefully.

Had a lovely Mothers Day and Rachel bought me an awesome CD (Mum's favourite songs) and I love it and listen to it all the time!

Am off to bed now... (9.40pm) - bugger - another week of work ahead of us!

Popping in to say hi...

2008-04-25T20:54:00.002+12:00

Hi everyone

Just thought that I would pop in and say hi to everyone... not much happening still.

But the big news is that we have had a couple of meetings with the bank and we have been able to take the house of the mortgage and refinance all our finances and debts. Gonna have a big mortgage now but at least we can stay in the house and don't have to face the prospect of moving. This is great as the agent told me yesterday that with the market the way it is we would have been lucky to get $250K when we had it on the market as offers over $270K. So now we can keep an eye on the market and will be reviewing things every 6mths or so. So yay to no more open homes and having to tidy everything each morning which was frustrating me with Rachel doing her best to "help".

Have had my PND meds reviewed and had tried coming off them (as per the chat with my Dr at my last visit) but unfortunately I wasn't able to at this stage so am on them for at least another 3/6 mths for now.

Work is still extremely busy and stressful at times. Still looking for a job in the Hutt Valley - have applied for one on line last week but haven't heard anything back as yet. Between you and me - I think I may be over qualified for the role but will wait and see.

Rachel is doing extremely well - coming along in leaps and bounds with all aspects of her development! She is starting the transition from the nursery to the Infants room at day care next week... she will spend two weeks spending more and more time in the next room but as she already spends heaps of time in there (as a lot of her friends have already gone up as they are older than her) we don't think there will be many problems with the transition. And with the transition, she gets to sleep in a big bed (okay a stretcher with a mattress etc) - so they thought they would just try it yesterday and she slept in the big bed for 2 hrs!!! Which is a lot longer than she has been sleeping lately and she didn't even try to get out or anything - just lay down and went to sleep! Our little girl is growing up so fast! Will down load some photos and share them with you soon though we have been a bit slack in taking photos recently.

Right, I am off to bed as I am on Rachel duty tomorrow and then we have to go to the bank to sign the papers etc... so think I will go to bed, read my book and have an early night.

Catch ya all sometime xxx

Taking a break...

2008-03-31T21:22:00.002+13:00

Hi all

Am going to take a break from blogging for now... don't feel I have a lot to say that interests anyone these days and it sure isn't about weight loss that's for sure!

House still hasn't sold - only 5 people thru in 5 weeks so very quiet and very stressful.

So will take a break and will be back at some stage... might be a week, might be two, might even be a month or so... will see how I am feeling and how things are going.

Thanks xx

2008-03-17T07:04:00.005+13:00

Morning all :)

Thought I would do a quick update before leaving for work since Rachel and I are both ready early for a change! :)

Managed a loss of 1.1 kilos this week though that has probably been aided by a V&D bug I had for 24hrs on Friday and Saturday so am still recovering from that! But I must admit that was one of the worst bugs I have had for a long time!!!

Here are a few recent photos of Rachel:

2008-03-10T20:53:00.003+13:00

Another bad week weight wise... have offically pulled out of the 12 week challenge on the parenting forum as the graph was looking real bad for me! But am going to try to continue it on here - just didn't want all those other mums etc who I don't know that well seeing how badly I am doing!! Had another gain - this week it was 400gms! Not going to dwell on it - just move on and TRY to do better. One day I will get there.

Had another open home on Sunday - no one through this week but out of the 7 or so open homes our agent had - three of them had no one through so we don't feel to bad about it. These things take time (like Chris H knows too well)... and am sure the right buyer will come around sooner (rather than later).

We went up to Mum's during the open home to take her out for lunch to say a big thank you to her for helping me declutter and clean the house. We went to a lovely cafe around the corner from Mums and had a lovely lunch. Both Steph and Mum had the fish of the day while I had the specialty burger which was fantastic!

Work is full on as usual - didn't help matters being away sick on Friday so things just piled up for me! I do wonder about the "Team Work" motto we are supposed to have in our team at times! But never mind I am over that already... Have heard rumors that there may be a sole charge Payroll position coming up fairly locally so am keeping my eyes and ears open on that one as that would be fantastic!

Rachel is doing really well - 3 (maybe 4) teeth coming through so they are causing her a bit of discomfort. She learnt how to climb on the coffee table this evening while we were having tea!! She has been trying for some time but hadn't been able to get her leg right up - but tonight she succeeded and thought she was so funny doing it! I did finally take some photos of her at the weekend so now I just have to download them...

Am out tomorrow night at the Parents Center AGM - am not taking on any new positions as the Funding Officer role is more than sufficient for me at the moment. Then Steph has his rifle club AGM on Thursday so a busy week for us.

Anyway, time to go hang out the washing and then make Rachel's lunch - catch ya all later

2008-03-03T21:26:00.003+13:00

Well week 4 of the challenge is over... and unfortunately another disappointing result with a gain of 600gms! :(

Not going to say much more rather than life sure is a bitch at times!

One step at a time... baby steps... but in a vicious circle of not having time/energy to do exercise... wanting to... but make excuses.... feel guilty and feel like crap.... know deep down that if I do exercise I will feel better and more energised... but don't have the energy... so feel guilty yet again... get the picture???

Had first open home yesterday - only 1 person through but it only does take 1 person to be interested and to buy it... but unfortunately for us it wasn't that person. Problem is that next door is on the market too and as a mortgagee sale - has a new kitchen and bathroom and an extra bedroom and will probably go for about $30K less than what we are asking. So until the auction next week - we just have to sit tight and plod on. As that one will probably go first so best we let that one take its course... We did have a nice time at Westfield for a couple of hours while the open home was on - nice family outing and Rachel was so well behaved :) Next Sunday, we are going up to Mums to take her out to lunch to say thanks for all the help she gave me cleaning and decluttering... the following Sunday we have a post wedding BBQ to go to.... then the following one is Easter Sunday and we may head to Masterton to my sisters.... fingers crossed it may be sold by then but am certainly not holding my breath.

Right, time I was in bed - better finish making Rachel's lunch and then head to bed. Have a good week everyone :)

2008-02-25T21:11:00.002+13:00

Oh well - not such a great week this week unfortunately. I am back to square one weight wise... yeap I have put on the 900gms that I lost over the last 2 weeks so am back to 109.1 kilos! Bugger! Bugger! Bugger! But only person to blame and that is me, myself and I!!!

Ate to much, drunk to much crap and did sweet fuck all exercise!!! That's how my life has been lately and I am really struggling to change this lifestyle that I have gotten myself into over the last 12 mths or so! But like I said, there is only person to blame and one person who can do anything about this and that is ME!!!

Hopefully I will get out of the vicious cycle sooner rather than later cause there is NO WAY IN HELL I want to go back to 129.2 kilos! NO WAY!!! So best I get myself into gear sooner rather than later and get back to those double digits!

On to the most important thing - Rachel :) We had her at the Drs on Sunday morning and she has a middle ear infection and a sore throat brought on by a case of Laryngitis! My poor wee girl has such a nasty cough - very much like croup in a baby and so harsh! So she is on AB's for the infection but not a lot they can give me for the cough so am doing an old fashioned remedy of honey and lemon drink and giving her about 10mls whenever she needs it. She was a much happier girl today (and had a better nights sleep) so decided to send her to Daycare but didn't think she would see the day out there but she did. Despite only having one short sleep there - but she sure was grumpy when Steph picked her up so she crashed and had a power nap just before I got home. And so far, so good tonight.

Only had one couple through the house so far... bit disappointed really but have our first open home this coming Sunday so fingers crossed we will get some interest shortly. Yeah I know its only been 1 week so far but talk about the extra stress etc in making sure the house is tidy and clean before I leave for work each morning! Have found out that the house next door is also on the market but think it may be a mortagee sale by the sound of things! Haven't seen the neighbours for quite some time - they seem to come and go pretty randomly.

Really busy at work as well but did get a lovely surprise on Friday when we all (our team) got given a letter advising us of a nice pay increase backdated to 1 July last year. Not quite enough for us to be able to afford to stay here but definitely will help us each fortnight.

Anyway, best I get moving as there are still a few things to do before I hit the sack... oh before I go, I just want to mention how sad it is that so many of the "old" blogs are closing down. But I do totally understand what they are all saying and how they are all feeling as I go down that road occasionally myself and yes sometimes I find updating here a chore... but I know that I have made some true friends through the blogger world and I know that no matter whether we are blogging or not - we will still keep in touch.

Night xx

2008-02-19T21:45:00.002+13:00

Just a quickie to say that in Week 2 of the challenge that I am doing that I managed to lose 400gms. Not as much as I would have liked considering the amount of exercise I have been doing with all the cleaning of the house but on the other hand my eating and drinking (coke) hasn't been the best. So all up 900gms lost so far... and my motto has always been slowly but surely! :)

The house is officially on the market now and the opinion of the company who brought all the agents through today is that it is well priced and they were very impressed with the presentation etc... so it is now on Open2view and a few other websites so we just have to sit and wait now! And oh keep the place tidy! :) First open home is Sunday 2nd March.

But right now, I am heading to bed so will be back in a few days for another update...

2008-02-14T08:26:00.002+13:00

Hi all

Happy Valentines day to all of you and for those of you who do celebrate it - may your celebrations go well and you have an awesome day/evening. No celebrating of it here - just an "I love you and Happy Valentines Day" as Steph walked out the door!

Going ok so far this week... but being kept busy at home with the decluttering is keeping me away from the crap food I eat at work is which a big plus! And of course I am doing more "exercise" too with the cleaning and shifting things around! Only down side is the coke that I am drinking but hey I am getting there slowly. Would rather wean myself off the coke slowly rather than going cold turkey!

The decluttering isn't going as fast as I thought it was going to! Have got a couple of extra days off to try to finish things off! Initially we thought that we were just going to concentrate on the decluttering for the Open2view photos on Tuesday and then we could do the cleaning etc next weekend before the first home home... BUT........ of course it is officially on the market as from Monday with the agency so they will be bringing people through from their database etc before the first open home so its gonna have to be clean before then! This has freaked me out a bit but am sure we will get there slowly. Might send an SOS out to family this evening (once I have chatted to Stephan) and see if those that are free this weekend can pop around and give us a hand doing something around here...

Poor Rachel fell and knocked her head (in the exact same spot as she did last month) yesterday as we were leaving daycare and the lump came up quicker and bigger than the first time so off to the Drs to be on the safe side. Got given the all clear but just to watch for vomitting and drowsiness etc... Apart from it being black and blue this morning, she is very happy within herself and happy as larry at daycare. Have taken some photos of it so will try to post those at some stage.

Anyway, this sure as hell ain't helping me declutter... got the Sallies coming today (anytime between 10am and 1pm) to take away HEAPS of stuff so once that is cleared it will definitely give me a better idea of what is left to do!

Catch ya all later...

Going ok...

2008-02-11T08:28:00.000+13:00

Well week 1 down into the 12 week challenge and I have lost 500gms for this first week! And I avoided the scales all week which amazed me so I had no idea at all what they were going to say when I got on them this morning... And to be honest last night I was thinking that I may have even had a gain as I haven't had that greater week for various reasons. So to have a 500gm loss makes me happy and is on track for my goal of 500gms per week...

So what have we been upto for the last week... not a lot really. Just plodding on and TRYING to get motivated for the house tidying since we go on the market next Monday! OMG!!! I am so scared and worried that no one will like our place and we will never sell... but am sure that is just first timer nerves and we will do ok. Okay I am worried how I am going to make sure the place is tidy each morning before going to work since I have enough to do each morning as it is already... And the Real Estate Agent is not going to bring people through after 6pm so we can bath Rachel and do her bedtime routine without people coming through so that will be good. First home open is Sunday 2nd March but it will be on Open2view by next Wednesday!

And for those long time readers, some of you might recall in January 2007 I was bitten on the arm and reacted badly to whatever had bitten me (tried to do a link back to the original post but it won't let me do any links whatsoever). Anyway, I have been bitten a few times in the last couple of weeks which we have put down to me sleeping on top of the sheets etc (with a nightie on of course) but they have just been itchy and then gone... however on Saturday morning I awoke to 9 new bites and 8 of them enlarged quite considerably and became red, hot, painful, extremely itchy and were just getting bigger and bigger! So went off to the Dr's on Sunday morning, and at least 3 of them were at the beginning stages of infection so am on a 4 day dose of a very strong AB to kick them in the butt! Am also taking the anti-hestimane tablets too... but if they haven't gone down by Wednesday morning I need to get my butt back to the Dr's who will put me on to a specialist. They seem to have gone down a bit this morning but still red, warm and itchy...

Anyway, best I get stuck into the de-cluttering which is why I am off work... so will catch ya all later...

I can do this!!!

2008-02-04T20:57:00.000+13:00

I have bitten the bullet as the parenting forum that I belong to has started up a 12 week "Biggest Loser Competition" with the Biggest Loser receiving a pampering voucher (paid for by the rest of the team who each pay $5).

We just send a PM (Private Message) to the lady who is doing all the spreadsheet work and then each week she will post the % loss for all the competitors so am hoping that this will provide me with some motivation to get my big fat arse off the chair and to lose some weight.

Am going to work on the eating/drinking side of things first and then slowly TRY to reintroduce some exercise regime! One of the ladies who is doing it has also been successful in losing weight in the last 12mths and has posted a basic "at home" fitness programe for those of us who can't get to the gym or can't afford to go...

So with the support from there and the support from all of my blogger friends I know I can do this! My initial goal is to lose 6 kilos in the 12 weeks which is a simple 500gms per week. I don't want to aim for anything to high - would rather have a small goal and do more rather than a big goal and not get there. It's gonna be a stressful time as well to do this, with the house going on the market on the 18th Feb and then of course all the open homes and keeping the place tidy all the time with a 15mth old who loves terrorising the place!

Anyway, best I get moving as I want to make our lunches for tomorrow... Catch ya all later

2008-01-31T21:01:00.000+13:00

Hi all

Once again I have been meaning to post for the last week saying that I am going to be a regular poster but haven't quite made it on here... well not to post anyway. But have been reading all the blogs (and posting when I have the time).

Not a lot happening here - just plodding on day by day. Have organised a date to put the house on the market which is the 18th February. So we have 2 1/2 weeks to do the decluttering, tidying, and sorting everything out. To be honest I am pretty scared of all that lies ahead of us as I haven't done the selling part before (as ex bought me out when we separated) so am pretty nervous but we have a fantastic agent who will be us all of the way. I do have 5 days off after Watangi Day next week so am aiming to get heaps done then and Mum is going to come and help me on one or two of those days.

Rachel is doing really well - walking most of the time now - only crawling if she has to! Though we have had her back at the Drs twice in the last 24 hours as when I was at the Dr yesterday (for a few things), I mentioned Rachel's bump and a few concerns we had about her since the accident so Dr suggested we bring her back down once I got home... so did that and she is still suffering from a mild case of post concussion so have to keep an eye on her - but do you know how hard it is to "tell" a 15 mth old who has just learnt to walk to be careful and not to fall over! LOL So basically we just have to watch out for her and if she has another big fall to the head (esp within the next 4 weeks) we need to get her checked out straight away as apparently that is the most vunernable time for toddlers and head injuries. And then today Daycare rung to say she just wasn't herself being grizzly, wanting cuddles and holding her ear so Steph collected her and took her back to the Dr as her ears hadn't been checked last night but everything is all clear! So think she may just be going through a clingy, grizzly stage that she will hopefully grow out of soon.

Work is diabolical and so full on that some days I am struggling to really get through work and then everything at home as well... yeah I know I need some "me" time but just can't seem to programme that it in at the moment but am working on it especially since I have a few vouchers to use that I got for my birthday so some time out doing that will be fun sometime in the next few weeks if I can.

As for the role in Christchurch that I have mentioned - well I have applied for it requesting it to be considered as a secondment so at the end of the 12mths I would still have my current role to go back to if things didn't work out in Christchurch. Applications closed on Monday so am hoping to hear back by Waitangi Day (next Wednesday) so will keep you posted.

Right, its now 9.40pm and I am knackered and need some sleep - well if I can with this heat! Have a fairly full on weekend ahead of us so will try to update with some more photos after that...

C'ya :)

Happy Birthday to me...

2008-01-20T20:10:00.000+13:00

Yeap I am another year older today... feels just like another ordinary day to me except I am now 37 yrs old!

It's been 15 days since my last update - have meant to update a couple of times in that time but just run out of time and/or energy. Work has been diabolical - in fact I am going in to work tomorrow (Wellington Anniversary) for two or three hours to try to get my work completed in time for the payrun on Tuesday. Oh well by working tomorrow I get time and a half as well as an Alternative day off due to it being a Stat holiday.

So what have we been up to lately... not a lot really. Busy at work - busy at home so no rest for the wicked so to speak.

Rachel is now walking and getting more and more confident by the hour! Unfortunately today though she had a nasty fall while at Westfield Queensgate - she was getting impatient and grizzly in her buggy so I thought I would get her out and carry her - but no she didn't want that - she wanted to walk and as it wasn't that busy I thought ok - she can walk holding my hand... but she tripped over her own feet and I couldn't stop her hitting the floor in time - head first! Initially, we both just thought - oh another fall and picked her up and made our way into the Warehouse (accident happened just out there) but within a couple of mins, Steph looked at her and pointed this HUGE lump on her forehead - right on top of her nose between her eyes! And it was basically getting bigger as we looked at her!! So turned around, left straight away with lots of people looking at us as we made our way to the car. As we were in Lower Hutt and our Dr is there as well and is open weekends - I wanted to get her checked out to be on the safe side. They saw us basically straight away and checked her out - all ok but she will probably have two black eyes by the morning! As well as this HUGE bump on her forehead! They told us the signs to look for in concussion but all clear so far and we have past the danger zone for head injuries. Have given her a couple of doses of Pamol to help ease the pain that her head must have! Dr also completed an ACC form for Rachel - just in case we need anything further down track which was great of him.

I know this is going to be the first of many falls as she begins walking and exploring but I still feel like the worlds worst mummy! :( Steff - thanks for your call today and for trying to make me feel better - it was awesome catching up with you and all of your news! I can just see the faces on the teachers at Day care on Tuesday when I drop her off! But oh well accidents do happen.

What else.... oh yes we have decided to put our house on the market in about 4 weeks time! So in that time we have mega things to do before we list it - declutter, declutter, declutter, finish painting, clean and oh did I mention delcuttering!!! Perhaps I should get Chris down here to give me a hand as she seems to do it so well at her place!!! LOL I have booked 5 days Annual Leave for after Waitangi Day to do some serious work inside here so I have one friend who has some time off work then as well so she is going to help me one day... and then mum is going to come down for one or two days to help me too! We are going to stay within Upper Hutt but not sure exactly where at this stage...

Last night, we had birthday celebrations for my mums 70th Birthday (which had been on Thursday). It was a lovely night out but it was typical murphys law with Rachel though - all week (and tonight) she had not been going to bed until about 8.30pm or so due to the heat and some late power naps... but do you think she would do that yesterday - no way! LOL But she did end up going to sleep in the pram after I took her for a walk around the block - and it ended up being the long block as I get semi lost! LOL My brother (and nephew) from Christchurch came up for the dinner and my sister (and neice), her partner and his kids came over from the Waiarapa for it as well. It was a lovely afternoon/evening to spend with mum.

In regards to my weight... not looking the best right now. It is moving slowly and surely but in the wrong direction! :( I know what I am doing wrong - eating crap, drinking crap and doing sweet fuck all exercise! So no one to blame but myself there and I know that no one but me can do anything about it! Am seeing the Dr on Friday (have the day off work) for a couple of things so might have another chat with her about Reductil as I should be able to come off my PND meds but in all reality I don't think we can afford the $70/mth that it costs. Might have a chat with Steph and see if we can make a deal and I give it a go for 3 mths and see how I go in that period... so will have a chat with him at some stage this week.

So yeah, offically I am supposed to have a 3 day week this week with tomorrow being a Stat day and then am on Annual Leave on Friday - Drs and catching up with my great friend Jo and her daughter Maddie. So am really looking forward to that catch up :)

Anyway, it is now 9.40pm so time I was heading to bed since I am gonna be up and organised to head to work in the morning and as I have committed to picking up a work mate on the way into town I can't back out of it now! :)

Right, catch ya all later... have a good week everyone :)

Happy New Year

2008-01-05T20:45:00.000+13:00

Hi everyone

Happy New Year to you all and may 2008 bring each and everyone of you what you wish for and desire!

I know for myself personally I am going to set myself some goals for 2008 - not so much NY resolutions but just goals that I want to achieve. I guess in a roundabout way they are the same things but I like the word "goal" better than resolution. I did have some in mind when I was in bed last night but do you think for the like of me that I can recall what they were??? Nope - can't recall one of them! So will do some thinking and will post them in a new post once I have them listed down.

We had an awesome holiday in Christchurch and I so didn't want to come home! I love Christchurch and want to go back! Between you and I - there is PROBABLY a job coming up down there that one of the bosses down there is encouraging me to apply for IF it comes up so am waiting in anticipation for it to be advertised but then of course I still have to actually get the role - not just apply for it and get it! We did a day trip to Timaru on the Saturday and that was great also - especially catching up with Stephan's cousins down there who I get on really well with (get on better with them than I do with my own cousins). Rachel was so good especially since she had never met any of them before then! Took her a couple of mins to settle in and then she moved around the house as if she owned it and just loved their two dogs (one golden lab and one chocolate lab) and the dogs loved her too!

I don't want to go back to work on Monday either - I am throughly enjoying being at home with Rachel now she is bigger and exploring so much more and talking non stop! Okay most of it we can't understand but boy she sure can talk (wonder where she gets that from)!!! She is so, so close to walking now - in fact the day we left Christchurch she did take a couple of steps by herself just before we were due to leave for the airport! And then she did another couple on Friday when Mum was here so walking is definitely going to be happening real soon...

Anyway, this has taken me a lot longer to write as our neighbour just popped around to say we had left the lights on in the car.. and we got talking (as you do). They are moving to Australia next week which is a bummer as they have a 7mth old girl and I was really looking forward to her and Rachel growing up together and being friends!

It is now after 10pm (so much for an early night) - so will sign off and leave you with some photos of our princess!

Santa's wee helper

Artist at work

Fun in the pool

Look I'm on a big kids bike

Family Photo

The "girls" - Rachel, myself and Paula

Look - I'm standing!

2007-12-26T06:33:00.000+13:00

A belated Merry Christmas to you all (or those that are still out there that read)! I did mean to do an update on Christmas Eve but poor Rachel ended back at the Drs yet again!

After the constipation issue that I mentioned in my last blog, we were back at the Drs on the Friday with a suspected ear infection and high temp, then on Sunday she came out in spots on her feet, legs, arms - so Monday we were back at the Drs for confirmation that it was in fact Hand, Foot and Mouth (from the chicken pox family) which had just started going around daycare! No treatment for it as it is viral - so just have to wait it out and keep her away from other young children/babies for the time being. And then be extra vigilant about washing hands after nappy changes etc (which of course we all ready do).

We are off to Christchurch today and have emailed Jules so hopefully we may get the chance to catch up with her while we are there. Suitcases are packed (apart from last minute stuff) - gees I can't get over how much stuff one needs to take for a toddler! LOL And I thought I was bad when I went away.... LOL Charlie (the cockatiel) started his holiday last night (at a friend of Helena's) so its nice and peaceful here this morning though Rachel is wondering where he is!

Anyway, time for Rachel's breakfast... best I get moving - just wanted to do a post before disappearing for a week. Hope you all had a fantastic Christmas with your family, friends and loved ones. And may you all have a safe and happy new year and I will catch up with you when I get back next year! :) Thanks to all of those that stayed reading and supporting me over the last year despite this going from a weight loss blog to a general family one. I am hoping 2008 will be the year that I get my motivation back and get back on to the weight loss issue! Thanks again xxx

2007-12-20T20:44:00.000+13:00

Rachel and Santa 2007

Rachel and Santa 2006

I still can't get over the difference between them! Yes I know the obvious fact that she one year older but I just can't stop going back and forth between the two of them! Though this year, it wasn't as easy as handing her over... we had a huge screaming fit from her when I passed her to Santa so in the end I had to kneel by Santa (ain't no way I was gonna sit on his knee) and hold her hand to get that photo taken (and I cropped myself out)!

Can't believe that this time next week we will be in Christchurch!!! The time has flown by so quickly! We are so looking forward to catching up with Paula and Chris (who we are staying with) and then spending time with my brother and his kids (17 and 20) while we are there. I am also going to have a catch up with a work colleague who I talk to every day on the phone! Jules - I remembered yesterday that I never got back to your question re when I was coming down - well we fly in on Boxing Day and leave to come back home on the 2nd. Will email you my cellphone number and perhaps we can try to catch up too if you are going to be around and if you are keen that is! :)

We have had a full on week with last week Rachel and Steph being sick - yay I managed to avoid getting the bug! *phew* however this week we have gone to the other extreme (SHIT JUST HAD AN EARTHQUAKE) with Rachel having major constipation issues! Ended up at the After Hours with her last night as her stomach was rock hard and she was screaming every time she lay down and wouldn't let us touch her! So once again, she had an enema put up "there" but this time it did work so no manual work required this time! *phew* We were also advised to increase her dosage of lactulose as she was still on the infant dosage - though we had never been told to increase it whenever we got a repeat of it. So she has gone from 1ml twice a day to 5mls twice a day! Lets see what happens now...

Monday was great as our friends Paula and Chris (from Christchurch) and Paula's mum came up to Wellington for a 24hr visit as they had gotten $8 return fares on www.grabaseat.co.nz sometime ago. So we all went out for dinner along with our friend Lynaire (unfortunatley Kev was working) to a local carvery for a 3 course roast meal! It was a lovely night and we all had a great time and Rachel was very well behaved considering she ended up staying up approx 2 hrs later than normal...

Work has been chaotic over the last few weeks and there has been some yucky snapping etc going on around the team (myself included) - so I will be glad come midday tomorrow when we can go home and all have a break from each other for 2 weeks! 2 of the team are working the 3/4 January but the remaining 3 of us return on the 7th Jan. The 3 days in between are known as "Departmental" days which are great. We missed the group christmas do yesterday which was held at the Zoo however we had the Head Office BBQ today and that was fantastic. Some very talented people used the tunes of some popular carols and rewrote the words to fit around local DOC issues! :) We also got our company gift this year - and as it is the 20th anniversary of DOC being around we all got this really cool travel/gym bag! No goodies in the bag but compared to what we can usually get this is fantastic! :)

Anyway, best I get moving - still want to do an update on the parents forum that I belong to... and still need to finish off my christmas cards! Leaving it a bit late I know but will see how I go.

2007-12-12T20:30:00.000+13:00

Hi all

Wow! What a full on time of the year it is with so much happening and so little time to do everything though after reading Rachel's list of things she still has to do I think I have bugger all to do but to me it seems like a lot! :)

We have had a full on few days as Rachel was sent home early on Friday from daycare due to a runny nappy and a big power chuck... and although only did two power chucks (both on Friday) she has had diaherra since then - some days are worse than others... so she has not been a happy lass and very clingy! Steph stayed home with her on Monday but when I rung after lunch to see how things were going - he was not well at all and had caught her bug and was going at both ends!!! So I jumped on the train and headed home to look after both of them! I ended up calling Steph's dad at 7pm to ask him to take Steph to the After Hours as he was not well at all and was on the verge of dehydration.... he finally got home at 6am the next morning after spending the night in A&E on a drip!!! So yesterday all three of us were home and although Steph spent majority of the day sleeping off and on... I was totally and utterly shattered!!! Today, he went to work but I had a full on day at home with Rachel who demanded my full attention the whole day and at one stage I was almost in tears wanting to go to work for a rest and some peace and quiet!

Sounds like Steph wants me to spend tomorrow at home with Rachel too as he doesn't think he would have the patience to look after her if she is still so demanding (and he is probably right there too) so looks like I will be home tomorrow as well! Really bad time of the year for me to have time off but hey thats life and life sure can be a Bitch at times!!! The boss says "fine - family comes first" but when I go back I get the subtle hints about how inconvenient it was that I was away etc...

Anyway, it is now almost 10pm and this has taken me over an hour to write as my friend Paula from Christchurch rung for a good ole catch up :) So will try to another update soon to say everything else I was gonna say tonight... so will be back later :)

2007-12-03T20:34:00.000+13:00

Hi all

Just thought I would do a quick update to let you know that I missed out on the job that was based locally! Bit of a bummer really but I guess that's life and just means that it wasn't meant to be and that there is another job that is even better out there for me somewhere sometime...

Apart from that all going well - just extremely busy at work and am counting down to our break in Christchurch over the holiday period.

Rachel doing really well - though is starting to get a bit cocky when trying to balance/walk and twice in the last 24hrs has fallen - hit her chin on the table (at home and daycare) and her top teeth have gone through her bottom lip! OUCH!

We were up at Mums yesterday and Rachel had a ball chasing Barney mums cat around the house! Poor Barney used to have more tolerance with kids but I think Rachels cousins have taunted him enough so poor Rachel doesn't get the fun of being able to pat him etc...

Oh here is another photo of Rachel taken after her godparents wedding - just thought I would share it as you can see her top "fangs" in it - thank goodness her middle two top teeth are starting to cut through!

Right time to get moving.... catch ya all later

2007-11-26T20:46:00.000+13:00

Ooooops didn't realise it had been another week since my last update.... where oh where is the year going?? Can't believe that it is December the 1st on Saturday!!!

Things going ok here - just plodding on day by day. I had my first full week at work (in 4 weeks) last week and I was totally shattered by Friday! But am feeling a lot better - or should that be I WAS feeling a lot better until today that is. Despite being quite well in the last few days - for some reason today my cough has decided to return!!! So have spent the day coughing and coughing and annoying my work colleagues! But when one is so busy, there isn't a lot one can do... so will at least go in tomorrow to ensure we get the pay run - and then might play it by ear for rest of the week!

Am supposed to hear this week re the job that I was interviewed for - but a few people who either work for this company themselves or know someone who does have told me not to hold my breath on getting an answer so quickly as they have reputation of taking their time in getting back to people... so will wait and see - not a lot more I can do really!

We had a "Welcome Summer" party at Steph's parents place yesterday which his sisters organised... ended up being a great day out and Rachel did really well with all the attention and survived being up for 5hrs during the day which is totally unlike her! The weather was fantastic and there were a few sunburnt people by the end of the day.

We have at least one thing on each weekend up to Christmas... and then we are off to Christchurch on Boxing Day for 7 days so we are counting down to that... and of course catching up and staying with Paula and Chris *waves* hi guys!!! LOL

We are having a working bee at our place with Stephs family later this month to help us get the outside ready for painting so that should be lots of fun... well I will be busy keeping Rachel out of the way while the others are sanding, etc...

Anyway, I am off to bed... had a few late nights lately... but before I go - here is a photo of Rachel taken the afternoon of her godparents wedding (2 weeks ago)- you just have to excuse the bruises on her forehead:

2007-11-18T20:59:00.000+13:00

Hi ya

Just thought I would pop in before going to bed to say that the job interview went well on Friday - with only the occasional cough. Was in there for 45 mins and found out that they had 26 applicants for the role and only interviewing 4 so even if I miss out on the role I feel good that I made it that far! :) Have also decided that if I miss out on this new role - I will go back to working full time rather than 6.75hrs that I am currently doing as we really do need the extra dosh!

Can't believe that it is only 5 weeks till Christmas and we haven't done ANY christmas shopping at all! That is most unlike me but we just don't have the spare money right now so not sure what we are going to end up doing but am sure we will get there in the end.

Have had a great weekend and am feeling a lot better - not 100% as yet but definitely a lot better! We went into Te Papa yesterday and had a lovely family day out and did a bit of walk around the waterfront before heading home and popping in to see our friends Lynaire and Kev on the way home. When we got home, Rachel was quite grizzly and wouldn't settle for a powernap - so I threw on my sneakers, and Rachel and I went for a 40 min walk - she was asleep within about 8 mins! Felt really good doing that.

Then today, we have had a fairly quiet day at home doing housework and chilling out... though this morning we went and visited Rachel and her boys! They were amazing with Rachel and brought out all of their soft toys for her to play with! :) Reece was very kind and got a packet of Tiny Teddy biscuits out of the pantry for her without asking either his mum or me... so couldn't really take them off her after he had already given them to her - or should I say - it was a big fight to get the bag off her to open it! :) Then after a few hours at home including a sleep for Rachel - we then popped out to another friends place to see Sheri and her girls as I had bought a sunhat for Rachel off her on Trademe. In between all of this - I had managed to get 4 loads of washing on the line and dried! :) God I love nothing more than seeing washing outside on a line on a sun shiny day!!!

It's been a quiet evening though we did have to call the police when we saw two guys trying to break into our local primary school! First time I have used 111 to call the police so quite exciting! LOL Yeah small things amuse small minds! LOL Cops got there just as the guys were walking away from the window after they had given up trying to get them open!

Anyway, better get moving - its now 9.40pm so time I hit the sack since I had better show my face at work tomorrow! Bugger! LOL

Hope you all have a great week :)

2007-11-15T15:08:00.001+13:00

Hi ya

Thought I would just do a quick post before Steph gets home and has his turn on the laptop :)

Yeap I am at home again... had another rough weekend with coughing etc... worked on Monday but all I got from everyone was "when are you going home", "haven't you gone home yet", "do you have to cough all the time" and "shhhhhhhhh" so managed to see the day out but was exhausted when I got home. Called in sick on Tuesday and then went back to the Dr (refused to see the locum I saw last week) and after this one listened to my coughing and checked out my chest I was diagnosed with a mild case of Bronchitis so am on AB's for that! He also gave me two days off work... Tuesday and Wednesday. Nice to be able to rest but got restless as my brain was still working! LOL Then even though I had a rough night last night, I went to work today but by lunch time I had enough subtle hints to head home again... and at this stage won't go in tomorrow either! I just want to shake this damn thing but this is the 3rd week of it now and it is really starting to piss me off big time! I seem to be spending more and more time in the loo coughing up phlegm! Am thinking that surely the AB's should have started working by now so if I am still no better tomorrow I will call the nurse and have a chat with her and perhaps need to go back yet again!

I also have a job interview tomorrow - so hopefully I won't be coughing too much though it is usually when I am talking that I get the coughing fits... though they do know I am sick as I could hardly talk when they rung me on Tuesday to say I had been short listed and to arrange the interview. This job is located in the Hutt Valley so would be a LOT closer to home and save me so much travelling time every day. I would be able to do a full days work and still be home earlier than I am now (and I am working 6.75hrs day)! Money is a bit less but when you look at the 2K that I spend on train passes each year and the time I spend commuting each way each day... (about an hr each way each day). There are also some great benefits for working for this company (which will be revealed IF I get the job) so that helps out weigh the lower salary.

Rachel is getting more and more adventurous and stubborn! Boy she sure knows what she wants and can throw a right paddy when she can't have it! She loves her swing outside and every morning when she gets home and we come out to the lounge - all she does is point to the door leading to the swing and bangs on the windows etc! She is now loving her ride on/walk along toy and spends ages walking around the place - she just has to learn to change direction without walking into everything and getting stuck! LOL She is very accident prone and must have at least 2/3 accidents a week at daycare when she looses her balance and hits her head etc... we have got a good collection of accident forms already which I plan to keep and make into a scrapbook for her!

Speaking of scrapbooking, I have been checking out some of the digital scrap booking sites but still get totally confused! Might have to ask for some help from some of the great scrap booking bloggers on here! :)

Anyway, Steph and Rachel are due home shortly... might go back to my Sudoku book. Oh god the coughing is starting again now! BUGGER!

2007-11-09T20:50:00.000+13:00

Hi all

Well what a week it has been in this household! I have only been at work twice this week... Monday was sick leave (both for myself and Rachel), Tuesday I worked, Wednesday was Annual Leave (prebooked) for Rachel's 12 mth Plunket check and to spend the day with her, Thursday I worked (but went down hill quite rapidly) and then today was sick leave (just me)!

I just can't seem to shake this damn cough and it is really becoming a pain in the flaming arse now! And trust Mum to tell me of a friend of hers who got a cough who couldn't shake a cough for 7 weeks!!! God I hope I am still not coughing in 6 weeks time!

I was at the Drs for a review of my PND medication on Wednesday so got him (a silly locum) to do a check on me but according to him my chest is clear, as is my throat and ear (had a major ear ache)! So according to him, if I am still coughing etc next week or I get worse then I just go back to him!

Today, after dropping Rachel off at Daycare, I came home, went back to bed and slept until midday!!! And felt so much better for doing that but it did feel really strange having a shower at that time of the day. So while home today, I took the opportunity to do the groceries this afternoon since we have such a busy weekend ahead of us.

Tomorrow, we have Rachel's godparents wedding at 3pm and I can't wait to put Rachel in to the dress we have bought for her to wear (and yes Photos will be taken) and then we will come back home, and "big" (and the ever shrinking) Rachel will come around at 4.30pm to look after "little" Rachel for the evening. Am getting quite nervous as no one has done the evening routine with Rachel before (not without us around that is) so hopefully all will be ok but am sure the two Rachel's will have a ball. We probably won't be too late due to me feeling yucky but will see how things go.

Then on Sunday morning, we have our Antenatal Combined Birthday Party at a local park/playground. Weather forecast is looking good for that and am hoping that we all manage to be there at the same time about 11ish for a group photo of the kids!

So thats whats been happening in our place... have downloaded some photos too so will share some with you all... but before I do here, I will share an email I got from my mum this week which I thought you would all like :)

POSITION :
> Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
> Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
>
> JOB DESCRIPTION :
>
> Long term, team players needed, for challenging
> permanent work in an
> often chaotic environment..
> Candidates must possess excellent communication
> and organizational skills and be willing to work
> variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
> and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
> Some overnight travel required, including trips to
> primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
> Travel expenses not reimbursed.
> Extensive courier duties also required.
>
> RESPONSIBILITIES :
>
> The rest of your life.
> Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
> until someone needs $5.
> Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
> Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
> pack mule
> and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
> in case, this time, the screams from
> the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
> Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
> such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
> and stuck zippers.
> Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
> coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
> Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
> for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
> Must be willing to be indispensable one minute,
> an embarrassment the next.
> Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
> half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
> Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
> Must assume final, complete accountability for
> the quality of the end product.
> Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
> janitorial work throughout the facility.
>
> POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
>
> None.
> Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
> so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
>
> PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
>
> None required unfortunately.
> On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
>
> WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
>
> Get this! You pay them!
> Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
> A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
> of the assumption that college will help them
> become financially independent.
> When you die, you give them whatever is left.
> The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
> you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
>
> BENEFITS :
>
> While no health or dental insurance, no pension,
> no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
> no stock options are offered;
> this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,
> and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
>
>
> Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
> letting them know they are appreciated
> for the fabulous job they do....
> or forward with love
> to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
> ** AND A FOOTNOTE ?
> THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
> If you are fortunate enough you will become grandparents!

Butter wouldn't melt in my mouth...

The morning of my birthday with presents from Mum and Dad...

The day care birthday cake

Party at Daycare

With Nana as we are singing Happy Birthday

Yeap not as many taken at her party as I would have liked - and no family one either! But that's life and we learn from our mistakes for future parties.

Right, time to hang out the next load of washing... then off to bed for me. Hope everyone has a great weekend.

2007-11-04T20:18:00.000+13:00

It's official my wee princess is 1 year (and 2 days) old!

Can't believe that this time last year, we were settling in at home and adjusting at the lifestyle of becoming parents! And now we almost have a toddler... not quite confident on her feet as yet but loves walking around furniture, walking while holding our fingers... and she has discovered the rest of the house - especially the bathroom!

I haven't downloaded the party photos as yet but on saying that we didn't get as many as I would have liked and no family one either! Bugger! Rachel got very spoilt and got lots of clothes and books! The weather held off for us so it meant that the kids could play outside when they wanted - I bought some bubble mixture so had fun blowing bubbles for the kids. Unfortunately, I was not feeling the best so I did struggle at times to keep my energy levels up.

I seem to have caught Rachel's (and Steph's) cough/head cold that they have both had (and I thought I had escaped) but it has knocked me for a six! I have been coughing so much that I have had to spend a bit of time with my head down that white porcelain bowl! I woke this morning with no voice at all and still coughing so headed to the chemist wanting something stronger than I had been taking so got some Roubutassin but it seems I have had an allergic reaction to one of the ingredients as not long after taking my first dose I started coming in spots all over my body! Though it take a wee while to put those two things together... so when we were at the Drs for Rachel (story to follow) this afternoon I asked him and he said it was possible that it could have been a reaction so I have to stop taking it and just rely on strong lozenges for now.

Unfortunately, Rachel has not been at all well today - in fact she has been the worst that I have ever seen her! She was quite grumpy and off her breakfast and was back in bed in less than 2hrs after waking but I put that down to her having a restless night (due to me coughing and being sick as the bathroom is next to her room) however by midday she had already had 2 sleeps and was quite hot! She hardly touched her lunch and we took her temp and it was at 38.3 so rung the Drs and within the 25 mins it took for us to get there her temp was then 39 degrees! Turns out she has a bad ear infection and her breathing was quite rapid too! So is now ABs for that but has spent the whole afternoon laying/sleeping on me and ONLY me! Now normally I would cherish all those extra cuddles etc but when I am not well either it was pretty damn exhausting! The two times I attempted to give her to Steph (so I could go to the loo) she just cried and cried until I came back...

So looks like its gonna be a day at home tomorrow for the both of us... I must admit and I know this is going to sound selfish but I was so hoping for a day for me so I could just rest and do nothing but will now have Rachel to look after as well but thems the breaks I guess! I have left a message for Mum to call me... ooops her ears must have been burning as she just rung - she is going to come down for the day and help me out as I just don't think I could cope all day with me feeling so yuck!

Anyway, this has taken me about an hour to write due to Rachel waking, mum calling and me watching CSI... so time I was in bed myself and perhaps do a suduko puzzle or two (my new hobby lol).

Catch ya all later

2007-10-29T20:16:00.000+13:00

Hi all

Wow can't believe that our wee girl is gonna be 1 on Friday! Where has the last year gone?? This time last year I was a lady of leisure enjoying my days of doing sweet bugger all and mucking around home and catching up with friends!

We have heaps to do before her Party on Saturday - just as well Steph is on leave this week to do some bits and pieces around here. He had Rachel home with him today as it was a Teacher Only day at daycare - sounds like that they had a great day with the sun shining etc... while some of us were stuck inside working!

A good thing with Steph being home is that I can catch the early train and do an extra hour of work and it is amazing how much extra one can get done in an hour! We are flat out at work at the moment with the translation review going through - i.e. the translation of one salary scale to another scale! HEAPS of work and I am dreading the phone calls from Wednesday onwards as people get their payslips questioning how their backpay was calculated etc...

I do have Friday off to organise bits and pieces at home and to make the cake for Saturday. Stephan is making the day care cake on Thursday so thats gonna be heaps of fun - must remember to get the pebbles etc for decorating them. They ain't gonna be anything to fancy cause I don't have that sort of talent! Mum (who used to do cake decorating etc) did initially offer but I thought that as Rachels mummy I had better make the effort myself!

We had a quiet weekend as I was not feeling the best as Rachel very kindly shared her head cold and cough with me... well so did Steph has he has had it too! So hopefully I can shake it by the weekend.... and oh fingers crossed for a nice day as we have a small house so if it is nice we can leave the doors open and people can be outside as well as inside.

Anyway, the washing machine is beeping away at me (and Steph is having selective hearing)... so will catch ya all later

2007-10-24T21:23:00.000+13:00

Oooops didn't realise it had been so long since my last update - time sure is flying by (gees I think I mention that in every post I have done recently)!

Rachel is currently sick (again) and we have decided to keep her home tomorrow so she can have a day of rest. Her nasty cough came back again over the long weekend and I ended up taking her to the After Hours last night - she has a minor viral throat infection :( Everything else was "perfect" and the Dr was amazed at how alert and happy she was despite not feeling the best. He also couldn't get over the size of her eyes! LOL Great Dr though and very thorough indeed. Though the hour we were waiting to be seen - Rachel was busy entertaining the whole waiting room with her cheeky antics and smiling and waving at everyone. And whenever she coughed some people would go "awwwww" and then she would start giggling again! Cheeky little monkey she is! It was very hard to believe at that stage that she was unwell... I thought she would be straight to sleep in the car but oh no - she sung to me on the way home! LOL But as soon as she hit the cot (about 9.45pm) she was asleep in no time at all! The Dr didn't really want to give her any more antibiotics so just gave us another script for some pamol and to give it to her regularly for a couple of days to ease the soreness of her throat.

We had a quiet long weekend which was nice... well quiet until Monday afternoon when we had to go out to the airport to pick my mum up from the airport (been in Melbourne for 3 wks), then take her home to the Kapiti Coast, have tea with her and then back home again! It was great to see mum and she couldn't get over the changes in Rachel since she had last seen her :) Rachel got very spoilt by her Nana and also from her Aunty and Uncle in Melbourne with lots of clothes!

Though, we didn't get as much done around the house as we had talked about so HEAPS to do around here before Rachel's party next weekend (3rd Nov) so I am guessing that this weekend will be a busy one for us. Things are pretty disorganised when it comes to her party but am sure it will all fall into place for us at the time. Compared to some of the mums on a forum that I belong to - Rachels party is going to be very boring - a lot of them are having theme parties etc but really - will a 1yr old appreciate all of that? I don't think so... but thats my opinion.

Oh I have been meaning to say that I did talk to my Dr at my last visit there about going on to Reductil but due to being on Anti depressants, I am unable to go on Reductil but she is very keen to support me and put me on them once I am off the Anti depressants which will probably be early next year all going well. So the weight is still flucuating a bit - gained 600gms last week and then lost 400gms this week. Must make a tally bar for the side of my blog to keep track of my ups and gains!

Anyway, it is now almost 9.45pm - so time for me to hit the sack - I think we will be in for a rough night tonight with Rachel and her coughing but so far so good. Have got the vapouriser going in her room again to help her breath.

Catch ya all later :)

2007-10-14T10:18:00.000+13:00

Firstly a BIG THANK YOU to Kate for designing my new look header and blog! You are so wonderful and creative! I had a wee play around last night to get the font etc suiting the header and I think I am happy with the font now but might still have a play around with it later.

Not a lot happening here really - quiet day yesterday though I did go for a wee walk around the corner to visit a couple whom I had met on the train who had a wee girl 5 weeks ago (also have a 4yr old boy who was our source of entertainment on the train) so popped around to visit them and get lots of cuddles with Neive (don't think I have spelt that right). I sure got very very clucky while I was there! LOL

Today, I have to pop up to the supermarket again as I forgot to get the jars of fruit for Rachel's lunches but also need some more formula (which Pack 'n' Save don't sell) and some Zinc and Castor Oil cream as Rachel has developed a awful nappy rash over the last couple of days which is now making nappy changing time very stressful for all concerned! This is the first real nappy rash she has had in her first year as I have always found that the Sudocreme that we use keeps rashes away... She does have two top teeth that are taking their time coming through so it could be related to the teething but it sure looks very nasty.

Rachel's new favourite past time is for me to lay on the floor on my side and for her to pull herself up on me, dribble on me, fall over and then do it over and over and over again! And boy she sure can pack a sad already if she doesn't get her own way! I dread to think what she will be like as she gets older! LOL So yes, she is loving standing and walking (while holding our fingers) and gets very frustrated indeed when she is sitting on the floor!

We might pop round to see Steph's parents at some stage today but will see what sort of mood Rachel is in when she wakes up from her morning sleep. And definitely got to do some serious menu planning etc for her party which is now less than 3 weeks away!

Right before I go - just gotta share a couple of recent photos of our princess with you all... Hope you all are having a good weekend :)

In my new swing on the deck - I love sitting in here with Mum or Dad pushing me!!

Having a ride on my trike (which turns in to a walker)

2007-10-10T21:19:00.000+13:00

It's been awhile since my last post - I keep meaning to pop on and do an update but I just never seem to quite get there! In fact I should be folding the washing rather on here but hey the washing will still be there tomorrow for me!

All going ok here - plodding on slowly. In week 1 of my "baby steps" - I gained 400gms! Not a good start at all!! Then this week I lost 300 gms which I was pleased with but it doesn't take a mathematician to see that I am still up 100gms from the start but I will get there. Have cut out my "bad" morning habits for the last two weeks - I struggle at times without my muffin but I manage. So next step is to cut down (and then out) the can of soft drink I have every afternoon! So that will be starting from tomorrow! Will probably start with having one every 2nd day, then 3rd day etc.... before I can go back to having it as a "treat" which is what I was like prior to getting pregnant. Then after that it will be time to work on the afternoon "sweet" treats and/or chippies that occur most afternoon!!! Doesn't cost as much as one would think as one of the divisions in our building has a social club "tuckshop" and the drinks/chips etc are just $1 which is a lot cheaper than buying from the local diary/magazine shop! But still all the $1's add up quite quickly!

Will try to update my sidebar at some stage with weight, losses/gains and mini goals - would actually love a totally new look/design but struggle to find the time and energy to concentrate on doing that but guess I will get around to it one day sooner or later.

Rachel is doing really well and starting to pull herself up on furniture etc now and is not happy unless she is standing! Very tiring at times when playing with her as she is continuously wanting you to hold her hands so she can stand! Though we have discovered a cheap form of entertainment for her - just to sit her at the french doors, pull back the net curtains and let her watch the trees move, her swing move and the rain falling etc - she loves it and can watch it for some time! :)

Can't believe it is only 4 weeks till her 1st birthday! Invites are out for her party but like I said in an earlier post - its immediate family and 2 close friends. I so want to invite EVERYONE I know but I know that's just not a doable thing in this house! Then the weekend after her birthday, we have her godparents wedding to attend on the Saturday and then the antenatal combined birthday party on the Sunday so thats a couple of full on weekends for us!

Anyway, time to get moving for now - just wanted to let you all know that we are doing ok - just been busy/tired etc... I am reading your blogs and commenting when I have the time. Catch ya all later :)

2007-09-24T21:30:00.000+12:00

Been doing lots of thinking over last few days and have decided that I am gonna print out these two photos to remind me of where I DON'T want to go back to (and WON'T go back to) and of how far I did get and of where I WILL get back to (and further)!

The before photo was taken in Oct 2002 (and one of the photos that spurred me into losing weight) and then the next photo was taken Christmas Day 2005 when I was at 88.9 kilos (so having lost approx 42 kilos)!

I am taking one day at a time and taking baby steps in regards to my eating habits - can't go cold turkey on all my "bad habits" - so just working on one habit at a time and then when I have that one under control I will move on to another one. And with daylight saving starting this weekend I am really hoping that I will be able to get out walking after Rachel has gone to bed and the dishes are done... even if I can get out for 30 mins 3 times a week to start off with.

So onto other things - not a lot happening really. Rachel is growing SO SO fast! Can't believe that in under 6 weeks time our baby will be 1! So am busy starting to organise her first birthday! My biggest diliema is wanting to invite everyone I can but we have such a small living area so have had to limit it to immediate family and her godparents and my friend Lynaire (and Kev and girls) who was there with us at Rachel's birth.

Anyway, it's 9.45pm so that means time for bed... but before I go - here are a couple more photos but of Rachel this time :)

Having fun with the mirror...

Having fun with a balloon (one of her new favourite toys these days)...

Right time for bed - catch ya all later xx

2007-09-17T21:21:00.000+12:00

Hi ya

Just a quickie from me before I head off to bed... but realised that its been a week since my last update so thought I would pop in to say hi!

Am plodding on slowly with my ankle - the physio is impressed with the way it is healing and should only have one more session with her. However, since the fall my back has been playing up a bit so must have jolted it in my fall so the physio has said she will have a look at that during our next session.

Rachel really is well and truely on the move now with her commando crawling and rolling. And is now starting to try to pull herself up on the couch and coffee table. She tried it this morning on her toy box and fell forward and gave herself a nasty bumpy and graze on her forehead (first of many bumps I am sure) - no tears at all and wasn't impressed with me when I tried putting a cold face cloth on it! She kept pushing it away and wanted to keep on playing! So she obviously has a higher pain threshold than her mum! LOL

Work is pretty full on at the moment and its definitely panning out to be "one of those" weeks at this stage!

Right am off to bed.... catch ya all later xx

2007-09-10T20:03:00.000+12:00

Hi ya

Well after my post on Saturday morning, we had an eventful evening as we were at our friends (Lynaire and Kev) friends place for pizza and all was going well and we were having a great time.... Steph had just left to go into town for his shooting competition, so Lynaire, her niece and I decided to check out their sleepout and the work that they had done and as I was walking down the back stairs, I missed the last one and had a nasty fall on to concrete! And all I can say is THANK GOD I WAS NOT CARRYING RACHEL AT THE TIME (I had just put her down in the portacot) as I just shudder to think what the outcome could have been!!!

Anyway, end result after a visit (and $60 later) to the After Hours Medical Center and then down the road to A&E for an xray to ensure it wasn't broken (4 hours later) is that I have a badly twisted ankle! Got very minimal sleep that night after getting home just before midnight! Sunday was a very quiet day for us as I was literally quite useless!!! The most frustrating part for me has been not able to carry, lift, change Rachel etc... And lets just say that Steph got a feel of how much I do actually do around here! LOL But all credit to him as he is doing a great job! And as much as I wanted to call in sick today - the fact that I had been off for 4 days last week with Rachel, I felt to guilty so rung the boss on Sunday night and had a chat to him and he organised the use of one of the emergency staff car parks in the basement for me to use (left ankle is the injured one and we have an automatic) so drove into town and typical the price of petrol went up today! So managed to hobble around work for the day but unfortunately the chair that my foot was to be elevated on wouldn't fit under my desk so it wasn't elevated as much as it should have been so is quite swollen tonight (but do have it up now).

So... with all of that happening, we were unable to get the family portrait done as it is on the 2nd floor of the building with two flights of steps to get up to them... which was something I was not going to attempt on crutches! So rung them and due to the circumstances (which were beyond my control) they were willing to let us transfer the sitting to another day so need to ring them later in the week to make a new date!

Have got physio tomorrow morning so will see how that goes...

Anyway, getting tired and sore from this position and the nappies need folding... so will love ya and leave ya... catch ya all later :)

2007-09-08T07:58:00.000+12:00

Hi all

Thought I would try to do an update while Rachel is playing happily on the floor but how long that will last is a totally different story.

I have been home with her since Tuesday so it has been a long week! We were hoping that she would be able to be back at daycare on Friday however due to the epidemic of rotovirus (contagious form of vomiting and diarrhea) in the Hutt Valley, the MOH (Ministry of Health) enforced a 48 hr period from the last runny nappy they had until they can return to daycare. Therefore, as Rachel's last runny nappy was about 5pm on Wednesday she needed to have Friday off too!

We have had some wonderful moments but we have had our frustrating moments as well and she has pushed my buttons to the max! But the best thing is that she is definitely on the mend now and today was the first day all week that she had some toast for breakfast.

We have a first birthday party to go today (at lunchtime) and we were getting worried that we wouldn't be able to go but as she has gone the 48hrs without being sick or a runny nappy then we are in the clear to attend! :) So can't wait for that as it will be so much fun - just hope Madam Rachel is a bit less grumpy than she is this morning. We have had 3 invites to parties today so we are attending two of them - the first birthday and then another one this afternoon and then home for Rachel as no doubt I will have a tired grumpy girl on my hands by then and her daddy has to go shooting as his team is in the final tonight.

Tomorrow, we have a portrait sitting that we won at the child show in Porirua recently so am looking forward to that - just hope Rachel is going to show off her best smiles! LOL

I would like to offer my sincere condolonces to Lyn and her family as they grieve the loss of two tiny nephews. How terribly sad for them all especially for her sister. *hugs to you all*

I would also like to say go Lennie!!! You are doing fabulous job recovering from such major surgery and I knew it wouldn't be long before you were doing the updates - though Craig was doing a fabulous job in your absence! He should seriously consider starting his own blog as he has a great way of writing! :) Can't wait to see your new bod! :)

Okay madam is getting grumpy now - and wants my attention. I knew the rugby would hold her attention for only a short time. Catch ya all later xx

2007-09-04T20:34:00.000+12:00

Boy another week gone by and we are into September and spring already!

Firstly, well done to Helena on having her surgery done yesterday and from the update on her blog (by her beloved Craig) and on Rachel's blog - it sounds like all is going extremely well for her recovery! I sent her a text today and she is sounding so cheerful and I can't wait to catch up with her once she is home.

Secondly - thanks for the comments and emails regarding Rachel's class trip at daycare... we went with our gut feeling and said no to her going with them. She was the only one that didn't attend but had one on one attention with her care giver at creche so she had lots of fun with Tish :) She will have plenty more opportunities to attend other trips during her 4 years there!

We got the photos back from creche - not sure if I mentioned that we were quite disappointed with them but managed to select 4 to get the basic package. We got them yesterday and they do look great but now I just gotta work out the new scanner (okay not that new but I haven't used it as yet) so I can share them with you all.

There has been a nasty tummy bug going around the creche and after a week I was quite thrilled that Rachel hadn't succumbed to it.... well until last night that was! About 5 mins after I walked in the door and we had just put her in the highchair when next minute she did the most full on power chuck! EWWWWWWWWWW!!! So she had a bath, 1/2 her bottle and bed... got prepared with getting bedding etc out just in case we had an urgent change required during the night. But it wasn't required as she slept soundly all night - well until she started chatting about 5am :) So due to the 24 hr policy at daycare, I stayed home with her (much to the annoyance of my boss but tough titties) but boy it was a very full on day with Rachel being very, very clingy indeed!!! So apart from that she was her normal happy self until after her lunch bottle (or less than half of it) when she brought it back up again! So back to bed for her and when she woke up, hmmmmm it had started at the other end if you know what I mean!!! So rung daycare and told them she won't be in tomorrow either - sounds like the bug is quite nasty and knocking both staff and kids for six! She ate about 1 fish finger mashed up and then a wee bit of fruit for tea, and then half her bottle before going to bed. So will be interesting to see how she is tonight... and then again tomorrow.

I shot up to the supermarket after tea and bought a new pack of disposables for her as that is the only problem with cloth naps and diaoreha! But it is only the 2nd pack of nappies that we have had to buy in 6mths! The last time was when she had diaoreha just after she started at day care!

We have a real busy weekend ahead of us this weekend so fingers crossed we are all over the bugs by then! We have had 3 invites to 3 different birthday parties on Saturday so are attending two of them :) And then on Sunday, we have a family portrait sitting that we won at the child show we went to Porirua a few weeks ago - only problem being it is right on Rachels afternoon nap time so it will hopefully go ok. But it will be nice to get a decent photo of the three of us!

Anyway, time I was outta here - but before I go I will share a couple more photos of Rachel (and me) that were taken last weekend by my brother who was up from Chch. He has a fascination with Rachels eyes! LOL

Just cause I can...

2007-08-24T12:58:00.001+12:00

See Mum - I can read!!!

After a day of hard play at day care!

Peek-a-boo I see you!

In one of my fav places - under the coffee table!

Just thought I would share some photos while I had the time to do it... am at home today as I have got a nasty sore throat and a headache that keeps coming and going and am a bit snuffly too! Felt yucky all day yesterday but just plodded on but I had a real crap night last night (as did Rachel) and woke and could hardly swallow and ached everywhere! So decided that the best place for me was bed! So struggled around this morning and got Rachel off to day care (Steph would have done it for me and got to work later but he had to open up for the day)... once Rachel had been dropped off it was straight back to bed for me for 3 hours! Felt a bit better then and after a nice hot shower I felt a little bit better yet again. So finally had something to eat a wee while ago (2 min noodles) and have just been sipping away on my water bottle while blobbing out.

I think Rachel may be coming down with it too as I had to wipe her nose just before we left for daycare and she had been coughing quite a bit last night despite the vapouriser going and having a dose of some medicine. Typical that we get sick just as we have a family lunch to go to on Sunday though if either (or both) myself or Rachel are not well on Sunday we won't be going anywhere as we certainly don't want to spread our germies around.

Now some opinions please... we got a permission slip yesterday from day care saying that the nursery room (where Rachel is) are going to do a trip to Te Papa for a story book session. They are going in the official van which holds car seats etc but Rachel is the only one there who is still in a rear facing car seat so my concern is can vans have rear facing seats in them? And would there be a place for tether straps? Yeah I know I will ask day care those questions as well... but I am wondering if I am just being to paranoid or what? My personal opinion is that she is to young for this sort of trip as yet - yes we read to her (not as much as we should) but she is more interested in eating the books etc rather than listening to it. I think I will ask for her to stay behind a the centre or is that just being mean? Oh it is also right in the middle of when she normally has her morning sleep... and she really is still to young to realise that she has been left behind so to speak... yes she will know that most/all of her friends aren't there but she will be having fun with the next room which she just loves cause they have lovebirds in there! So what do you gals think?

Oh we booked tickets to Christchurch last night getting CHEAP fares on the new Pacific Blue airline! Worked out it was so much easier to do that and book a rental car rather than the 3 hrs on the ferry, petrol to and from Picton etc... So we are heading down lunchtime on Boxing Day and then come back lunchtime on the 2nd Jan :) So yes Paula - we are coming down so look out!!! Will drop you an email to give you more details but hopefully your offer still stands :)

Before I disappear, after a few emails to Janene yesterday, I have decided to give Reductil a go to give me a boost in the right direction. So just need to make the Drs appointment and go from there.... but am looking forward to it. Have done some research on the net and all looks ok :)

Right, time I was moving... catch ya all later.

2007-08-20T21:10:00.000+12:00

Hi all

Anne, thanks for the email this evening - I would have replied but we are having MAJOR problems with our email at the moment. Anyone else with Xtra having problems since their upgrade at the weekend???

All going ok here just busy plodding on day by day. I never get to sit down properly for the evenings during the week till about 8.30/9pm and by then I check emails (can receive but not send at the moment), play my online backgammon games (family thing since Dad died) and then check out the parents forum, it's usually time for bed! Yeap I am in bed almost every evening between 9.30-10pm including the weekends!

Just tried to download the latest photos of Rachel but the camera battery was flat so have got that charging at the moment so will do that later in the week... oh we got the ones back from Daycare that were taken at the beginning of the month and we are quite disappointed with them! We have got better ones on our camera and disks! Will get the basic set but no extras :(

Rachel spent the day at home with her daddy today as she woke yesterday with another bout of conjunctivitis! Steph picked it up as soon as he got her up in the morning so once I was up and dressed, we headed to the chemist and got some drops for her (had a repeat remaining from the last time she had it) and started treating her straight away and they were looking quite good this morning though she has been one very grumpy grizzly girl yesterday and today so will see how she is in the morning and if needs be I will stay home with her. I think it is her top teeth still annoying her - I just wish they would make a god damn appearance as they seem to be causing her nothing but problems!

Have got a few busy weekends ahead of us which will keep us out of mischief! Am really annoyed though as we have my nieces family birthday lunch in Petone on Sunday but was also invited to attend the Women's Expo by Helena who is organising a great day out for the most amazing women around! :) Am gutted that I am gonna miss the get together but that's life and life sure can be a right bitch at times. The following weekend we have the Upper Hutt Spring Festival and then a Baby shower to attend. The following one is my friend Jo's daughters Maddies 1st birthday party - can't wait for that! Then the following one, there is the Parent and Child Show in town and we also have Rachel's 10mth Menz B jab! Probably sounds worse than it actually is but will keep us busy. Then late Oct/early Nov we have another run of busy weekends. And then of course it will be Christmas time!

Anyway, it's past 9.30pm now and my electric blanket should have warmed the bed up nicely by now... and my back is starting to annoy me (that's another long story altogether). Catch ya all later :)

2007-08-13T20:57:00.000+12:00

Hi all

Thank you all for your lovely comments, texts and emails after my last post... sorry I have kept you waiting for so long but have had a hectic few days and kept running out of time to sit down and post on here.

Had the mammogram on Thursday - no where near as bad as I thought it would be. Lovely wonderful nurse who made me so relaxed and comfortable. Yes there was a bit of discomfort for approx 3 secs each time they took a photo (5 times in my case) but that was all. The nurse showed the results to the radiologist while I waited and all seemed ok from what they could see but would still need to see the specialist on Monday (today). Saw him this morning and he was a lovely guy and after showing me the correct way I should be doing my monthly breast check, he then did a check himself (with a nurse present at all times) and then did an ultra sound as well which showed up an all clear breast! So basically after all of that - I have an "overactive hormonal breast" LOL I need to go back in 2 months time for a recheck but overall I got the all clear! YAY!!!

Have had full on few days. Rachel's plunket check went well and she is weighing in at 9.4 kilos at 9mths which we are happy with. Plunket nurse was happy with her overall progress in all aspects :) We have been trying some new finger foods recently including: cheese (not that keen on it), luncheon sausage (thinks its ok), dried apricots (loves these) and fish fingers (loves these too). Still 2 teeth and still only crawling but is trying to pull herself up on some things so is definitely trying to get more mobile. We had a couple of days when her cough seemed to return but it seems to be ok again now (touch wood). Spent yesterday in Masterton and went for a trip up to Mount Bruce Wildlife Centre which was fun and as always it was great catching up with my sister, her partner and his girls.

It really sucked being back at work today - I did sweet fuck all work to be honest! Spent most of the day clearing emails and sorting out things on my desk! Just couldn't get my motivation back to get stuck into it all so hopefully I have it tomorrow otherwise I could be in deep shit! LOL

Right, its 9.20pm now and I still need to organise Rachel's bag for tomorrow and then head to bed... so will say good night now and will catch ya all later :)

2007-08-08T19:53:00.000+12:00

Wow 2 updates in 2 days! That hasn't happened for a long time! But just wanted to a post on my visit to the Dr yesterday.

After chatting and getting a repeat of my PND meds and a repeat for the Pill... I mentioned a rash under my arm - turns out that I have a fungal infection under my arms!! EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW Have no idea how the hell that happened as its not as if it is the middle of summer and I am sweating heaps! So have a cream to treat that with - shit forgot the lunchtime application - must remember to do it when I go to bed. Anyway, after that - I decided to mention a pain I had been getting for the last week or so in my right breast - so Dr did a check and discovered a lump! But she is pretty confident that due to me having the pain that it is more than likely to be a cyst rather than anything else... and as we have medical insurance I decided that I may as make use of it and go privately so am getting a mamogram and ultra sound done tomorrow and then seeing the specialist first thing Monday morning. If it is a cyst - it will just need to be drained (with a big needle). So fingers crossed it is just a cyst but will keep you posted once I know more but until then its just a matter of waiting, waiting, waiting...

The only thing that annoys me is that tomorrow was gonna be a "me and Rachel" day and can't really have her sitting there for all the time while I am getting the mamogram and ultra sound done... so have decided that I will keep her home in the morning, take her to Plunket and then drop her off to day care before going to Lower Hutt for the tests. And then will probably keep her at home on Friday to spend the day with her then.

Today, I had a good day down at Westfield shopping centre - and finally spent my vouchers on two decent bras!!! I haven't had a new bra since getting my maternity ones when I was 8mths pregnant! So I have been wearing those ones for 10 mths then!!! So got a fitting done and although the cup size is still the same, I have gone up from an 18 to a 20! Must admit they feel so much more comfortable! :) Also tried on some new clothes while I was there - GOD I SO NEED TO LOOSE SOME WEIGHT BEFORE BUYING ANY NEW CLOTHES!!! They all looked hideous on me and and emphasised the extra weight on my tum and bum!!! Checked out some shoes too but didn't buy any today.

Anyway, enough rambling from me - will keep ya all posted on how things are going. Oh if anyone wants to email me on their mamogram experiences (before midday tomorrow) that would be wonderful as all I have heard is how much they hurt!!! I asked Mum and she just said sometimes they hurt and sometimes they don't...

Catch ya all later

2007-08-07T10:20:00.000+12:00

Oooops this time 2 weeks have passed since my last update... gees I sure am getting slack at this blogging! I am even getting slack at commenting and even reading at times! There was once a time that if I didn't read every blog every day that I would have withdrawal symptoms from them but now it can be every 2/3 days when I read blogs and commenting - well even less at times :( So please forgive me - I am still here and I am still reading - just a bit slack at times!

Before, I start rambling - a huge but belated congratulation to Emily and Jonny on the arrival of Kellie Grace on Friday 27th July (Steph's birthday too). Kellie is gorgeous and Emily did so well with a 10 hr drug free labour!!!

Also - sounds like the blogger party at Chris' place at the weekend was a huge success and lots of fun was had by all attended. Will definitely make an effort to attend the next one.

Well I got my leave for this week approved so am sitting in the lounge with the sun streaming in and the stereo going! :) But not for long as today is a busy day - heading to the Drs shortly for a medication review (for PND) as I have been on it for 4 weeks now - still have the occasional down day but overall I really do think I am on the rise! Am no longer "scared" of being myself with Rachel - yes it had gotten to that stage at times. Though I still get frustrated when she won't drink a full bottle etc but I just keep reminding myself that she won't starve herself and if shes hungry she will drink/eat and if shes not hungry - well then she won't eat. She is now down to 3 bottles most days and has proven that she can have big long sleeps in the afternoons as she does that for us at home so I have written out our home routine in her notebook for daycare and they are going to try it but when Rachel is playing with 10 others she does get tired quicker so will see what happens. Would love it if she had some kind of routine with her sleeps - would make things so much easier at times.

So yes I am at home and Rachel is at Daycare! This week is about me having me time and doing what I want when I want! Sounds a bit selfish when I say it like that but it's what I needed. Will have Rachel on Thursday as we have Plunket and then we are catching up with my friend Jo and her daughter Maddie :) So will see how I manage on Thursday and if all goes well I might keep her home on Friday too and catch up with other friends. Just means I have to have my shopping day tomorrow! :) I got vouchers for Westfield Shopping Centre for my birthday (back in January) which I still haven't used so am planning on doing that this week!

So anyway - after the Drs, I will grab some lunch and then head to the Hairdressers where I am getting a colour and foils - can't wait!!! :)

Yesterday, I went back to bed after dropping Rachel off as we had that thunderstorm here... and then after getting up, showering and having breakfast, I got stuck in to tidying up Rachel's room and going through all her clothes. Oooops she really does need quite a bit in the 9-12mth range so am surfing TM when I can for some good bargins :) And then I tackled Charlie's cage (the poor bird gets a bit neglected at times) and then vacumed, lunch and then tackled the bathroom/toilet etc before heading off to pick up Rachel. Oh yesterday, they had a photographer at daycare taking photos of all the kids playing etc and apparently everytime Rachel saw the guy, she would start smiling at him and giggling and would follow him everywhere with her eyes and smiling as if to say "pick me pick me"! LOL A couple of the teachers have had a sneak preview of the photos already and they said there are some awesome photos of Rachel so can't wait to get the proofs etc... hopefully they won't be to far away.

Trying a new crockpot recipe for a meatloaf - I have never done meat loaf in it before - always done either corned silverside or a casserole so it feels strange putting it in the pot with no water etc... hopefully it turns out ok otherwise I guess it will be takeaways tonight.

Oh my weight - has gone down a couple of kilos in the last fortnight too which is fantastic though I do eat less at home than I do at work. So just gotta keep working on it going down - slowly but surely and I am sure I will get there.

Anyway, time I was moving to get myself organised for the Dr's - will catch ya all later :)

2007-07-24T20:29:00.000+12:00

Hi ya

Wow another week has gone by already! Hmmm what has happened in the last week? Not a lot really - just the same ole shit just different days! LOL

Weight is going in the wrong direction :( And yeap I know only I can do anything about it but right now I just don't have inclination/motivation/enthusiasm to get back on track at the moment! I am currently weighing in at just slightly more than what I was when I was 9mths pregnant! BUGGER! I gotta do something but it's just a matter of me getting my flaming arse back into gear and getting back on track!

Rachel is still developing new skills all the time and continuously keeping Steph and I entertained with her giggles, her stubbornness (god knows where she gets that from) and her determination to get to particular places - nothing stops her these days!

Am looking forward to 12th August when we are heading over to the Waiarapa to catch up with my sister and her family and we are all heading to the Mount Bruce open day for Conservation Week since it is free entry for the day and entertainment for the kids etc... So fingers crossed it will be a nice day as I am already looking forward to the trip :) When I was at DOC last time, I got to spend a day there "behind the scenes" and it was fantastic.

Have put in for a weeks Annual Leave for the week 6-10 August so am hoping when the boss gets back from his break on Thursday that it will be approved as I am really needing some time out. Thought I would spend a couple of days with Rachel (and perhaps organise an antenatal catch up as well) and then have 3 days to myself to do nothing or just to do what I want when I want!

Here a couple of photos before I head off to do a couple of things before going to bed:

Under the coffee table...

Chilling out on my barbie couch...

My new cot quilt that my nana won in a raffle and gave to me

Catch ya all later

2007-07-17T20:57:00.000+12:00

Hi ya

Just thought I would do a quick update before heading to bed and while watching NCIS - I am so glad that has come back as it is one of my favourite programmes! I love Outrageous Fortune too but might have to tape it this season as it is not starting till 9.30pm and finishing at 10.30pm which is past my bedtime! I am pretty sure that last season it was on at this time too but it was on a Friday evening which makes a lot of difference!

Well what's been happening - not a lot really - have had 3 great nights of sleeping from Rachel so the steroids have definitely been working though her last dose of that was yesterday morning so am waiting with baited breath as to how tonight goes but upon talking to a lady at work whose friends baby recently had croup - she said that once the steroids break the cough that GENERALLY they are ok afterwards so fingers crossed. She still coughs a bit during the day but no where near as bad as it was a week or so ago.

Rachel is now rolling everywhere and anywhere she can - her favourite place being under the coffee table and under the clothes horse! She is now getting on all fours and going backwards so am sure it is now only a matter of time before she will be going forwards! Really do need to move a few bits and pieces in the lounge real soon and must get the safety gate we have been talking about so she is restricted from the kitchen for the time being - oh her biggest fascination in there is the rubbish bin of course!

Oh I have sussed out how to use the video component on my new cellphone so have been having fun taking videos of Rachel chatting away so now just need to suss out how to download it to the computer then I may try to post one on here if I can...

On to week 2 of my medication and had a real bad day yesterday with the side effects really hitting me hard! But today was a lot better thank goodness as I don't know how well I could have coped had it been that bad again. I must ring the Dr and make my appointment for my follow up with her in the next couple of weeks.

Anyway, time I was moving - hope you are all having a good week.

2007-07-11T13:28:00.000+12:00

Hi all

Am at home with Rachel today after a few rough days/nights with her coughing. We ended up at the After Hours on Sunday evening (after talking to Healthline) - waiting room was choker full of sick children! I was quite astonished at how many there were! Anyway, Dr said that Rachel had an inflamed ear drum and yes she was wheezy and prescribed Rachel with a ventolin inhaler for the wheeziness and some Antibiotics for the ear but advised us to hold back starting the ABs for 36/48hrs in case it was just viral in which case it would clear itself (and by the way it has cleared up by itself so am glad we hadn't given her the AB's unnecessarily).

Anyway, Sunday night was one of the better nights she has had for a wee while but then Monday night was a rough one for all of us and I have no idea how I functioned at work and did not expect Rachel to last either Monday or Tuesday at day care but she did - was quite happy there with the occasional cough on the Monday and then yesterday she had more coughing during the day but was still happy! I had booked a Drs appt for her for Wednesday afternoon to be on the safe side - and then we had another unsettled night last night so when the alarm went, I decided that yes I would stay home with her today and boy she was so miserable this morning - I found that really hard to deal with and within an hour of being up she was fast asleep in my arms (VERY UNLIKE HER) so made myself comfy in the chair by the laptop and surfed the net while she slept on me - didn't want to put her in the cot as she coughs more when she is laying down (and yes the cot is raised considerably at the head end) so was quite happy for her to sleep on me if it meant a decent sleep for her. And she ended up sleeping on me for about 1hr 20mins which is a great morning sleep for her. While she was sleeping on me, I rung the Drs to see if I could get an earlier appt for her - my dr was fully booked but we managed to get the last available one (for any of the drs today) at 10.45 with another Dr.

Fastforward to the Dr's appt - Dr says borderline croup for Rachel and that the ventolin that the After Hrs Dr prescribed her wouldn't be doing much (don't you love the different opinions different Drs have) and has prescribed Rachel a short term dose (5 days) of mild steriods to break the cough. And I sure hope it works otherwise I will be back there again next week as I really want to get to the bottom of this coughing as it is driving me around the bend! Especially when I am having a bad day :(

Have started my medication at long last after finally getting the script filled on Friday and then I left it at work in my drawer! So started it on Monday night and so far so good - getting the nausea feeling but that seems to be the only side effect that I have noticed at this stage but I am only on 1/2 tablet for the first week before going up to a full tablet.

Stephan has tomorrow off work so the plumber can install the new hot water cylinder so if Rachel is still a bit off colour in the morning he will be able to look after her :)

Anyway, best I get moving as the place looks like a bomb has hit it... and I need to make a call or two as well before Rachel wakes up again... oh bugger I think she is awake already! Oh dear - the joys of a sick baby... catch ya all later

2007-07-08T16:16:00.000+12:00

Hi all

Yeap another weekend almost over and time sure is flying by! So what have we been up to lately...

Firstly - I did end going to see my Dr on Wednesday afternoon and have had it confirmed that I have moderate Post Natal Depression. I feel such a fraud when I know of other friends who are a lot worse off than I am but which is why I had been putting the Drs visit off and putting on a brave face when people asked me how things were going. But as the Dr explained - we are all different and for those women that get PND - it affects us all differently! So after lots of talking and some crying, we agreed that I would trial a period of medication - got the script filled on Friday morning and then promptly left the medication at work! DOH!!!!!! But I have managed this long without anything so we decided that I would be all right till Monday and IF anything had happened we would have done a family trip in to town to collect them. I have 1 months worth initially and then have to go back for a review before getting any more. I sent an email out to my family to let them know what was happening and have had some lovely touching emails back from most of them including an admisson from one family member who confided in me that they too are on anti depressants and have been for about a year! I just wish this family member had told me earlier so we could have helped out but that was their choice. But now I have come "out" so to speak, this family member is considering it as well.

Rachel's ongoing cough is getting really bad so I think we will be heading back to the Dr early this week... when I was at the Dr on Wednesday we got talking about Rachel (of course) and the Dr did mention that if the cough continued that she may look at referring us to get Rachel an xray of her chest and listening to her today I am thinking along the lines of mild asthma but the Dr said that it is quite hard to diagonise asthma when they are under 1 unless there is family history of it (which there isn't for us). But she sure is not well that's one thing! So am bracing myself for another rough night of lots of coughing. She was like that last night though she did sleep through most of the coughing but unfortunately I did not!

We went out yesterday and caught up with some friends of mine at Wholly Bagels in Lower Hutt and Rachel had her first plain baby bagel and loved it! It was great seeing the other bubs (Rachel was the youngest by about 7 weeks) and having a good ole catch up with the mums!

Then today, we had arranged to meet Mum at North City Plaza to check out the K-Mart toy sale - wasn't that impressed with it really! We didn't buy anything (while not Toys anyway) but Mum got Rachel's birthday present. Can't wait to get it so I can have fun playing with it! LOL We had a nice lunch in the food court but unfortunately Rachel was not feeling the best so it was cut short and we came home where she has finally crashed and is sleeping nicely...

Been busy since getting home, am making two batches of meat and veggies for Rachel. One batch of beef mince (premium grade) with parsnip, pumpkin, brocolli and cauli. The 2nd batch which is cooking at the moment is pork mince with pumpkin, kumera, spinach and peas.

Oh the bad news of the weekend - our hot water cylinder is on its last legs and we will be lucky if it sees us through the week!!!! Fuck!!!! Thats all we need - NOT!!! Especially since its gonna cost us about $850 to get a new one plus the plumbers charge for installing etc!!! So there go our plans for installing a heat pump which we had been considering doing... Oh Steph got home on Friday afternoon to find a For Sale sign on our fence!!! So he promptly ripped it off and I rung the agent when I got home and got a half hearted apology and found out it is for next door!

Anyway, time I got moving - need to get some things done before Rachel wakes though I think I hear her stirring as I type this.

Hope you all have a great week.

2007-07-02T21:06:00.000+12:00

Hi all

Things still plodding on here... taking things day by day - having some real bad/down days but other days are ok. I just take it one thing at a time and I find I do get through things but am thinking of heading to the Drs this week for myself and to discuss PND as at times it really does seem to be spiraling out of control.

We had a lovely time on Saturday catching up with Helena, Rachel, Janene (and Jorja), Anne and Jenny. We missed you Chris and I do hope you are feeling better real soon. The creamed eggs and spinach were really scrumptious though the Hot Chocolate could definitely have been better! Little Rachel was really well behaved and sat in the high chair at the time like a right young lady and she was full of smiles for everyone. Though admittingly, she was a right real madam for the rest of the day and evening... she has been really funny with her milk intake lately - I know that at about this stage (oh she is 8mths old today) that the milk intake slowly decreases while the solids intake increases... so am not to worried about it though last night I was quite stressed about it when she refused her bedtime bottle totally! So in the end, she went to bed without her bottle so we were both expecting a wake up call during the night - but no she slept right through till 5.30am (her normal wake up time)! So yes our darling is 8mths old today - so hard to believe how fast the time has gone! And we noticed at the weekend that her tooth has cut through now and I think that #2 might be on its way... oh the joys of parenting!

We went to the Warehouse Toy Sale yesterday and managed to get one thing to put away for either her birthday or christmas... apparently K-Mart have a good toy sale at some stage so will keep an eye out for that. We also got her a couple of bits and pieces at the Farmers Red Dot Sale :)

When I dropped her off at Daycare this morning - I so did not want to leave - just wanted to hold her forever! Yet other mornings I drop her off so freely... Am thinking of taking a few days leave some time soon and spend a couple of days with her at home (catching up with friends etc) and then a couple of days for me, myself and I!

Anyway its now almost 9.30pm - so time for me to head to bed.... sorry this has all been about Rachel... will try to say more in the next post.

I've been tagged!

2007-06-28T21:05:00.000+12:00

Thanks Lyn for the tag...

But before I play the game.... a quick update from me. Well not a lot happening really - work hasn't been as bad as expected - no Over time required! YAY! Busy which of course makes the day go fast but thats cool. Got new headsets to go with our flash phones at work and they are cordless so we can go up to 100 meters away from the desk and keep talking to people! And yes that would include the toilet but we won't be going there!!! LOL

Rachel is back at the Drs tomorrow for her nasty cough... I rung to get a repeat script for her cough medicine and as she is under 1 year old, they need to see her before giving the script out. So Steph is taking her tomorrow afternoon after he picks her up from Daycare. I really do think it is in the chest as you can often hear it rattle but everytime a Dr has checked her chest they say its fine!

Am looking forward to the Bloggers Brunch in Te Horo on Saturday - gonna be so cool catching up with everyone. And fingers crossed Rachel behaves! LOL Though sounds like a few of us have some nasty germs so hopefully everyone is ok by then. Am happy to postpone for a couple of weeks if needs be...

Anyway, its cold and I am tired and oh shit I haven't turned my blankie on yet... time to get going - but here is my info from being tagged (typed up earlier):

INSTRUCTIONS: Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so.

1. Chicken Girl
2. Half Man
3. Celtic Girl
4. Lyn
5. Karen

Next select five people to tag: (if you haven’t done it already)

I think most of the blogs I read have already been tagged so if you read this and you haven't been tagged - feel free to join in!

And now for the questions:

What were you doing ten years ago?

Had been married for about 6mths to my ex and we were house hunting.

What were you doing 1 year ago?

I was almost 5mths pregnant so was preparing for what lay ahead for us.

Five Snacks You Enjoy

1. microwave popcorn
2. Chippies(of course not too often)
3. Corn (on the cob)
4. S & V rice crackers
5. Butter Chicken dishes (not often)

Five Songs to Which You Know all the Lyrics

1. The Wheels on the Bus
2. Thank you for being a friend
3. Twinkle Twinkle little star
4. Slyvia's Mother
5. Man I feel like a woman

Five Things You Would Do If You Were a Millionaire

1. Pay off debts and give up working (current job)
2. Be a full time mummy to Rachel (and then we could afford another child)
3. Buy investment properties
4. Help family members with their debts
5. Travel

Five Bad Habits

1. Putting myself down
2. Feeling I'm not worthy around others
3. Laziness
4. Eating out of boredom
5. Sarcasim

Five things you like doing

1. Blogging
2. Spending time with Rachel
3. Relaxing watching tv in front of the fire
4. Bush/river walks
5. Spending time with friends

Five things you’ll never wear again

1. Wedding dress
2. Mini skirts
3. Stilettos
4. Coulottes
5. Leg Warmers

Five favorite “toys”

1. PC
2. TV
3. BOB *nudge nudge wink wink*
4. Cellphone (new one)
5. New phone at work

2007-06-24T16:34:00.000+12:00

Hi all

Brrrrrr we sure have had some real chilly days and nights lately... definitely been putting our heater/s to good use! One thing we have discovered is that the beautiful printed panel heater we bought last winter for Rachel's room is not as effective as we thought it would be... yes it does take the chill off the room but does not warm it if you know what I mean. So for the last week, we have been using the big oil fin heater on low in her room (and on thermostat) - heaps better though on saying that it hasn't stopped her waking between 5-5.30am and chatting away to herself until we get her up at 6am. I tried once getting up then and treating it as a middle of the night feed in the hope that she would go back to bed and sleep for another couple of hours or so! Nope - once she was up that was it - time to party mummy! So now providing she isn't crying (which isn't very often at all at that time) we just leave her to chat to herself until 6am. Speaking of chatting - oh my goodness does she know how to talk now!!! LOL And everyone's first comment is "oh just like her mother then" - how rude! LMAO Oh I can't believe I forgot to mention in my last post that her first word was "mum mum mum" - looking at me and smiling when saying it! YAY!!! So we had about a week of "mum mum mum" and then yesterday it became "bub bub bub" all day and then again all day today! Also yesterday, when she had my finger in her mouth - I suddenly felt this sharp point in her mouth - so yeap her first tooth is about to come through too! So its all on in our house!

Last night, Stephan and I went out for the first time without Rachel - had my Mum come and stay the night and look after Rachel. Steph and I went to a 1920's family dinner for his family - but by 10pm both of us were tired so we called it quits and came home. But it was nice to be out without worrying about Rachel. Yes we could have taken her but as she still has her nagging cough etc I just didn't want to take her out in the cold air and besides she settles so much better in her cot rather than being transfered from bed to carseat to cot. Then this morning, Rachel and I went to church with Mum and Rachel just loved it! Was full of smiles for everyone so I think we may start going say monthly and see how we go but will all depend on Rachel and her sleeping etc...

Work has been real busy and its only gonna get busier over the next fortnight as we have Year End for DOC and everyone is pushing things through for their budgets etc so its gonna be a nightmare but am sure we will get there. Overtime will probably be required but as much as the money would be VERY HANDY at the moment, my priority is still to spend some time with Rachel before she goes to bed so I am gonna turn it down and let the rest of the team know if they want to do extra overtime that they can do some of my work for me...

Oh and before I go here are some photos taken over the last month...

In my new overalls

Just out of the bath...

All ready to go to daycare

On my "new" Barbie couch that my cousin gave me

Right time to disappear and think about bathing Rachel and then the evening routine begins.... catch ya all later :)

2007-06-17T21:05:00.000+12:00

Hi all

Have done some thinking and at this stage, I will keep my blog going but updates will be probably weekly at this stage or basically just whenever I have the time and/or energy to sit down and babble on and on about nothing really! It will probably mainly be about Rachel and the family and perhaps the odd mention of weight issues (and lots of those at the moment). Thanks for all your lovely comments and emails :)

We were at the Drs on Thursday afternoon and it was confirmed that Rachel did in fact have conjunctivitis and he was really impressed with how early we picked it up so all credit to day care for that as there was no way this first time stressed mummy would have picked it that early! So we got both cream and drops for her with the idea being that I would use the cream but after one application of that I was so pleased that we were given the script for the drops as well as it was no fun at all trying to put cream in a 7mth olds eyes! It's hard enough doing the drops though Steph seems to have the knack of doing it so he is charge of doing that job! It was nice to spend the day with her on Thursday though and Steph enjoyed spending Friday with her... Anyway the good news is that her eyes have been clear of gunk since late Saturday morning! So its off to Daycare for her in the morning :)

We have had a quiet weekend over all... groceries and housework yesterday and then my sister who had just picked up her younger daughter from the airport (after about a year over in Ireland) called in so Michelle could meet Rachel and as a surprise Mum popped in too. Mum ended up staying for tea which was great though Lynette and Michelle headed over the hill as Lynette's partner was cooking her a birthday tea so they had to make tracks fairly quickly for that.

Today, we have had a day at home... made a batch of chicken and veggies for Rachel which are now all frozen in ice cubes ready for her dinners (oh did a batch of beef and veggies on Saturday too), went through ALL of Rachel's clothes that she has now outgrown! Holy Moly I didn't realise she had so many clothes until they were all over our lounge floor! Huge pile of things that I just need to sort, photograph and then list on TradeMe, another pile of things that we will keep just in case we have another one (no promises there) and a nice pile of clothes that will be making their way to Emily and Jonny within the next week or two. This afternoon, Rachel and I went for a walk as I just had itchy feet and needed some fresh air... so Rachel got all wrapped up and was all snuggled up in the pram with blankets and storm cover on and off we went... It was cold but nice to be out there. I ended up catching up with my friend Jude's (who passed away 18mths ago) brother and sister in law as they are now living around the corner from us while they build a new house. It was great seeing them and Rachel was full of smiles and giggles for them both.

Went to download the photos off the camera as there are quite a few on there that need downloading from the last few weeks but battery on camera was flat so just charging that at the moment so will try to do a photo post in the next few days if I get the chance.

Right, its almost 9.30pm, so time to go put on my electric blanket and head to bed... have a good week and will catch ya later

2007-06-13T21:05:00.000+12:00

Hi all

Do I dare say it again - yet another week has flown by! Bloody hell where on earth is the time going?

But in all seriousness, I am considering giving up my blog as I just don't seem to have the enthusiasm for it anymore and definitely don't update as regularly as I used to! And it certainly isn't about weight loss anymore... as that has totally gone out the window these days! Will give it some more thought over the next week or so... so nothing drastic happening yet but will let you know if I decide to stop.

Have got something on every weekend for the rest of June so I can see the rest of this month flying by just as quickly as the last 7mths have flown by! This weekend, my sister and her younger daughter who has been in Ireland for the last 13mths or so are popping in after Lynette picks Michelle up from the airport. Michelle is really looking forward to meeting Rachel as all she has seen is photos so far. Then on Sunday I am hoping to catch up with my friend Jo and her daughter Maddie. The following weekend, we have Steph's family mid winter dinner party - it is fancy dress but neither Steph or I are really into fancy dress parties - so we will just go as ourselves... have got my Mum coming down to look after Rachel and she will stay the night and spend the Sunday with us. Then the following weekend, a few of us bloggers are meeting in Otaki for brunch (or is it lunch - must find out) so am really looking forward to that. Oh then the following weekend, our Antenatal group are having a mummies night out and at some stage our group are doing a brunch as well so the bubs can come along too (and the dads too if they want).

Rachel is off day care for the rest of the week as I got a phonecall from them this afternoon asking me to collect her as they suspect she has conjunctivitis which as you all know is quite contagious! Bugger Bugger Bugger! Will this ever end??? Probably not since she is in daycare... but that's life and the way it has to be for now! Just have to win either Lotto or Big Wednesday so I can give up my job and stay home with my princess. So I have tomorrow off and will be taking her to the Drs... and Steph is hoping to get Friday off otherwise I will take that day off too but will take her into work with me for a couple of hours in the morning for a vital meeting that I must attend. Then hopefully she will be right by Monday... fingers crossed.

She still has her cough as well but it does seem to easing thank goodness... usually only bad first thing in the morning. At least it is no longer waking her during the night! But something definitely was upsetting her last night as she woke crying 5 times! Luckily only once she needed comforting and cuddles, the rest of the time, she was back to sleep within 30 seconds or so. Jules, thanks for your advice re vapouriser and also Pamol. We do try to restrict her Pamol intake... and I am always checking out TradeMe for a vapouriser but no local ones have been listed yet and the postage on some of the "out of town" ones seem quite high. But I have also heard how damp they can make the room which I am not that keen on.

As for the weight side of things for me - well thats a big no, no at the moment! It is slowly going up... I am not proud of this fact and I am trying to maintain but it is getting harder and harder to do. I know only I can do this and can only do it for me. Noone can do it for me and I have to be in the right frame of mind... I get jealous reading everyones blogs (and I am reading - just not commenting as often as I should) and think right my mo-jo is back... but it only lasts a few hours before losing it again.

Anyway, time I was out of here - things to do before going to bed... catch ya all later

2007-06-06T21:07:00.000+12:00

Hi all

And yet another week has slipped by since my last update... god it's gonna be Christmas before we know it!

We had a good long weekend but had a visit to the Drs late Saturday afternoon due to Rachel only taking 1 bottle all day (6.50am) and refusing all other fluids so we were starting to get a bit concerned for her wellbeing. Saw the Dr who suggested it might be because her nose sounded quite blocked up - so after some Saline Drops - and whoaloa drinking just fine now :) She also has a nasty cough which just doesn't seem to want to go away - been about 8 weeks now so she has now been prescribed some Infant Dimetapp for that.

Though it can be a mission to get the Saline Drops up her nose along with her reflux med, her laxative and her cough medicine. Thankfully it is generally just the first and last bottle of each day that she needs all of the above and boy we sure do have a battle on our hands then! We feel so sorry for her but yet we know she does definitely need them otherwise we wouldn't be doing it. Though on saying that, we can probably ease off on the Saline Drops now as things do seem to be clearing up in that department. As we had been so spoilt with Rachel's great night time sleeping, I feel shattered with the broken sleep that we have had for the last 8 weeks or so with her coughing... some nights it means getting up to her and giving her lots of cuddles and calming her down and yet other nights it means cough medicine, some bottle and lots more cuddles.

Stephan is on Annual Leave this week so spent the day with Rachel on Tuesday as it was a "teachers only" day at creche. So he brought her into town and met me (and other friends) for lunch which was fantastic! So great to see Rachel during the day and to "show her off" in person to my workmates! The rest of week, she is back at Creche and Stephan is doing bits and pieces around the house. So while he is at home, I am taking advantage of being able to catch the early train and actually doing a full days work! Definitely a bit of a shock to the system but being at work that extra hour earlier makes a HUGE difference.

At this stage, I am not sure if I will make the bloggers party at Chris' place in August but will have a chat with Stephan about it. But am definitely looking forward to catching up with most of the Wellington/Palmy gals on the 30th at Otaki :)

Anyway, its now almost 9.30pm and I want to head to bed... so will catch ya all later on. Haven't said 1/2 of what I had planned to so I guess that will just have to wait till next update.

See ya

2007-05-27T20:21:00.000+12:00

Hi all

Just popping in to say hi as its been awhile since I did a written post. Still plodding on day by day - some days are great and others are not so great and pretty emotional. But its a matter of keeping on keeping on...

Work is pretty full on at the moment which means the days are flying by and the weeks sure are flying by pretty damn quickly! But of course the weekends fly by even quicker!

Rachel is growing so much and I suppose the biggest thing is that we can not get over how stubborn she can be at times! I have no idea where she gets that from *shrugs my shoulders and smiles the most innocent grin I can find* LOL In all seriousness though both Steph and I can be stubborn at times so poor Rachel has no show really! LOL

She is really enjoying sitting up these days but mainly at home as day care don't like to "encourage" them to sit up until they are ready to i.e. when they can get themselves into and out of the sitting position! And as for rolling - she is loving that too and rolls from one side of the room to the other side quite easily now (as long as she is in the mood).

Here is a photo that I took of her sitting up last weekend (on my phone hence the poor quality)

Anyway, I am gonna head to bed - yeap I know its only 8.40pm but I'm tired, grumpy and emotional so bed is the best place for me right now... catch ya all later. Have a great week everyone.

Photo Post

2007-05-20T20:48:00.001+12:00

2007-05-17T20:30:00.000+12:00

Hi ya

All going well in our place at the moment (touch wood) - Rachel seems to be going regularly (yay) and nice soft movements too! Still gotta keep up the lactulose syrup and the drops for another few days and then go down to once a day for another few days before being able to stop them... but once she misses a day of going we give her a dose of the lactulose to keep things moving. She is loving her pureed prunes though (as am I)! She is having them twice a week before her veggies - I just have to remember to do them the night before so they are ready for her to have when I get home.

Her cough seems to be more or less gone... just the occasional cough now which is great. She has been going down for the night about 6.45pm as she has been so tired and I was hoping that she would still sleep through till her "normal" time of between 6 and 6.30am but no such luck as yet. We have had 4.30am and 5.0am wake up calls so far! So I have had a couple of long days lately - I am not getting her up then but I don't go back to sleep as I lay there listening to her chatting away!

Ohhhhhhhhhh I must share our latest news! Over Tuesday night and Wednesday morning, Rachel achieved two milestones. The first one was on Tuesday evening when she rolled over by herself for the first time! Yay! But the sad thing is that both mummy and daddy missed it! As I was dicing the chicken for dinner and Steph was busy running a bath for her. I walked into the lounge to turn the TV on for the news and walked past her and then stopped, looked at her and was trying to work out what was different! Took me a couple of moments to work out what it was! LOL And there she was looking up at me with the biggest smile on her face! Then on Wednesday morning, when I was dropping her at Daycare, I had a couple of mins to spare before leaving her and I had been holding her and sat her down on the floor with Carson (one of the boys there) and she sat there by herself unaided for approx 30-40 secs!!! Woohoo!!! She had the biggest smile on her face when she was sitting there... well that was until she face planted it into the toy that her and Carson had been playing with and Carson just gave her this look as if to say "What the ...." so I sat her up again and she fell back down again and then all she wanted was a cuddle with Tish who is one of the most lovely carers I know! :)

Then tonight while she was laying on the floor she rolled multiple times over and over... so cute to watch!

Last night I was at the Drs for my smear and to get a new script and had an awesome chat with her about things that have been happening and how I am feeling and how things have been going for me! She has given me some brochures about Post Natal Depression which is what I had started to wonder myself. So am gonna do some reading and then probably contact one of the support groups and perhaps go to a meeting if there is a local one at a suitable time. I have been treated for depression a few years back so I know the signs etc.... Last time I was put on Prozac and then slowly weaned myself off it after a couple of months.

Anyway, that's whats been happening for me lately along with a few other bits and pieces... am plodding on day by day - some times its easy and other days its real tough! Right time to get moving - washing to hang out and bottles to prepare for tomorrow.

Oh have taken some great photos of Rachel so will try to find time over the weekend to download them and once I do that I will share them with you all.

2007-05-13T20:42:00.000+12:00

Hi ya

Just thought I would do a quick update on Rachel before heading to bed as I am totally shattered today after a late and rough night last night.

Warning - some details of this post could be a bit graphic for some...

I ended up taking Rachel back to the Drs on Friday afternoon and after the Dr was able to physically see Rachel trying to push the motion out and finally agreed with me that there was no way that Rachel was going to be able to push this out by herself... so gave her an enema (liquid up her bottom) which was to soften the motion and then would make it easier for Rachel to push it out. Dr also gave me 2 to use on her over the weekend. Anyway, Saturday morning I gave her the 2nd enema (definitely easier said than done) and she had also had another dose of the laxative but my lunch time still no luck and the pain she was in was getting worse! So I rung our Drs (who are open on the weekends for patients) and was able to get an appt at 3pm and luckily my Dr was the one on duty too!

So back to the Drs at 3pm and the Dr was shocked that not only had the laxative not worked but nor had the 2 enemas! So the next hour was filled with Rachel's crying and screaming as the Dr "manually" dug everything out that was in her bottom! Definitely not the easiest thing for anyone in the room let alone our beautiful Rachel! But boy a lot sure came out of such a small person!!! And it was ROCK HARD!! My poor girl!!!

A rough night last night as it is still hurting Rachel to push it out but at least its coming out and fairly reguarly now! But she also has gotten her cough back that she had a week or two back! It had more or less gone a few days ago until last night.. not sure if it was perhaps from all the crying she did yesterday but it has been quite bad today! :(

Another enema this morning to keep things moving, so hopefully that will be the end of things going up her bottom for a LONG time! But the Dr did say that should we see Rachel straining at all (and that the motion is too big to push out) that we are supposed to go straight back down there!

So for the time being, Rachel is on the laxative syrup twice a day, coloxyl drops in her milk 3 times a day, prunes for dinner approx twice a week so fingers crossed all of that keeps things soft, moving and regular for my princess!

Went out to dinner last night with ladies from Antenatal and it was lovely! We had so many laughs and are planning to do it once a month and go to a different restaraunt each time!

So it's been a full on weekend but a very tiring one... so it's almost 9pm so I am off to bed now. Hope you all have a fantastic week xx

2007-05-10T19:56:00.000+12:00

Hi all

Am still around Lyn - just been a busy wee bee... and unfortunately Rachel has not been in the best of health :( She has recovered from her cough/cold and sore ears but is now severely constipated! Today is day 7 since her last bowel motion. We have tried every "trick" in the book and ended up at the Dr's yesterday afternoon as it was really starting to get painful for her at times. Dr suggested boiled/pureed prunes and rather than giving her the juice - to actually give her the prunes themselves (pureed of course). And then if they didn't work in 24hrs to get the prescription for lactlose filled and give her a dose of that. So did the prunes for her and she adored them and demolished them very quickly!!! No luck over night... and so this morning I gave her some more prunes before day care and warned them that it could happen today... but when I rung them at 1.30pm today I got told - nope still no luck and she was really starting to cry when pushing. So I left work, picked her up and gave her the lactose syrup - its a very strong syrup so she is only on 1ml once a day (the Dr is confident it will only take 1 dose to work) Almost 5hrs later - still no movement so we really do have our fingers crossed that something will happen tonight. I am not prepared to let her go all weekend without anything happening so if no luck by lunchtime tomorrow I will be calling the Dr and chatting to her about the next step we can take which trust me is not a pleasant step!

When you see the pain in her eyes and on her face when she is trying to push it out - it is so heartbreaking and when you hear the heartbreaking sobbing/screaming in the middle of night - you just want to start crying yourself! Anyway, thats whats been happening in our house at the moment - so that's definitely our number one priority at the moment.

But apart from all of that - things are cruising along. Still doing really well with the water intake - between 1.5 - 2.5 litres a day during the week - just gotta work on the weekend intake. Food - well still not always the best of choices - some days its great and other days - well not so great! I had my first official weigh in on Tuesday with the Healthy Eating Club at work - not a good start - over the first two weeks - I recorded a gain of 800gms! And without making excuses - TOM had just arrived the day before and with that came a HUGE chocolate spurge!!! So mainly my fault - but like we all say - onwards and downwards on these scales! I have enjoyed my lunches this week - have been going 1/2's with a friend of mine to buy healthy sandwich fillings and keeping them in the fridge at work and then making our sandwiches each day.

I did manage to set up a blog just for Rachel but it is for family (and a few close friends) who live out of town around NZ and the world so that they can see her grow up. Its going to be mainly photos with the occasional paragraph thrown in. Got one wee problem and that is the comments facility - the settings are exactly the same as my one but for some reason her blog just won't allow comments! Got me totally puzzled but am still working on it when I have the time!

Anyway, better get moving, bottles etc to make up. Got a nice weekend planned with a catch up with some girlfriends on Saturday afternoon - some of whom haven't met Rachel yet so hopefully she will be up to that visit otherwise she might be staying home with Daddy. Then on Saturday night, our whole antenatal group are going out for dinner - no babies and no daddies! Just the mummies - a good chance for a catch up and a Mothers Day celebration for us celebrating our first mothers day.

Hope you are all doing well - talk soon xx

2007-05-05T20:46:00.000+12:00

Hi ya

Just thought that while I was sitting here cruising the net that I would do a quick update to say hi :)

It's been a full on few days with Rachel not being very well. It all started in the early hours of Thursday morning when Rachel woke coughing real badly and sobbing uncontrollably... the previous two nights when she had done this, a bit of pamol and lots of cuddles have settled her down but not this particular night. As I could see things weren't getting any better, I made the decision to take her to the After Hours down in Lower Hutt so at 3.30am I am throwing trackpants and shoes on and wrapping Rachel up and driving down to Lower Hutt (in the pouring rain). The Dr saw her, and although there is nothing they can do for the cough, he discovered that Rachel also had swollen eardrums (and something else to do with the ears too) so they gave her a dose of antibiotics then and there (since I couldn't get the prescription filled until the chemists opened later) and then it was back home to bed. I fell back into bed just before 5am and as I had already decided that I would keep her home from daycare, I was hoping that the night time adventure would have tired her out and that she would sleep in... but no such luck - sure enough at 5.45am she was wide awake and chatting away to herself!

So Thursday was spent at home with her after an early morning trip to the chemist to get the prescription filled. It was nice to spend the day with Rachel and she was pretty happy overall when she was awake. So Friday, she went back to daycare and was really happy when up but spent the day catnapping for 30min periods which seems to be happening more frequently during the week at day care.

She tried the catnapping on us this morning but I wasn't going to let her do that, so when she woke and started grizzling, I just left her and sure enough, she fell asleep for another hour. So will organise a chat with her care giver and see what they can do to help her sleep for longer. I realise that they can't leave her to cry or anything like that as she is in the sleep room with other children who are sleeping. And once Rachel sees us (or the care giver) she immediately thinks its time to get up!

So all up we are having a quiet weekend this weekend to give her a chance to keep warm and let her ears get better. Though, we do want to go to Mitre 10 (and maybe Bunnings too) at some stage (so probably tomorrow) to do some heater shopping for the lounge. They both have had some good ones (wall mounted ones) advertised in their catalouges so we are keen to check them out.

We have also been busy discussing our Christmas plans for this year - yeah yeah I know it's still a way away... but really it is only 7mths to go! And as we both like the idea of heading down to Christchurch for a week or so, we are keeping an eye on when the ferry bookings open which according to the Interislander newsletter is about a month away.

We have also been keeping an eye on www.grabaseat.co.nz which is an Air NZ site with daily great rates for limited periods. There was a great fare yesterday of Auckland to Invercargill (so basically one end of NZ to the other) for $160 return!!! Now that was one amazing fare and it sold out in less than 2 hrs! So we check that each day and see what bargins are there as we may look at taking a weekend away sometime soon if we can get the right fare to one of our destinations that we would like to go to.

Anyway, I am off to bed - how sad am I - heading to bed at 9.15pm on a Saturday night! LOL Hope you are all having a good weekend. Catch ya later xx

2007-05-01T21:18:00.000+12:00

Hi all

Wow almost another week has gone by... time sure does fly by when one is so busy or having fun (oh I wish)!

Was unable to make my first weigh in since joining the healthy eating club at work due to major work committments today. We had already "lost" almost 2 hours at a big departmental meeting that had compulsory attendance (our department is being restructured) and as today is the day we run the payroll we had HEAPS to do and little time to do it in! I weighed myself at home and I was the same as last week... so not the best of starts but better than gaining!

Water intake has been excellent - between 2 & 3 litres of water a day during the week. Just gotta work on the weekends now... but getting there slowly. Eating - well definitely not the best but better than it has been so like we all have said - one step at a time and baby steps they will be for me! The fact that the two males in our team have very sweet tooths does not help matter at times - yes I know I have to learn to be able to say no but at times when things are so busy and stressful it is easier said than done! Haven't got far with Helena's book due to time and lack of energy to read but I really want to get into it and learn so much more about the this way of eating as what I have read (and learnt from Helena) so far makes so much sense to me! :) Exercise - 2x15min walks each day which we all know is better than nothing at all but I do have to work on that. I do try to get at least one long walk in at the weekends with either a friend or just me and Rachel :)

Speaking of Rachel - she is 6mths old tomorrow! Wow where have the last 6mths gone??? She has even rolled twice now by pulling herself on her activity gym so thats quite exciting in our house :) She is loving her solids now - has 1/2 jar (or the equalivant if she is having home mixed veggies) each night. And has 1/3 jar of fruit each morning! At times, she is refusing her morning bottle, but it is more than happy to take it once she is at day care so is obviously not hungry first thing in the morning. It used to stress me out and we would both end up tears but now I just leave it knowing that she will take it when she is ready. Oh I am still always offering her the bottle first so its not that she is full from solids. She has another cold but is very happy during the day - it only seems to be at night that it disturbs her with a bit of coughing.

Anyway, its now 9.40pm and I gotta get my lunch ready for tomorrow.... catch ya all later :)

2007-04-26T21:42:00.000+12:00

Hi all

Just thought I would do a quick post to say "hi" to you all :) All plodding on here and taking things day by day.

Joined the Healthy Eating group at work and my weight was more or less what I expected which is scary as it is about the same as I was when I was full term with Rachel!!! So my starting weight on Tuesday was 105.7 kilos!!! First time I have weighed myself with clothes on and after eating for a loooong time. Will update my sidebar over the weekend if I get the chance. Drinking heaps of water (approx 2.5 litres) every day (and peeing heaps too) but still having trouble with the food but am getting there slowly. Have recently discovered Salt & Vinegar rice crackers.... YUM YUM So much better than S & V chippies too!

Rachel has had a bit of a cold but seems to be quite a bit better than she was at the beginning of the week. We collected her exersaucer yesterday and she just loves it! Have got some great photos of it - will try to post one now if I can. Her latest new "trick" is eating her feet! Everytime she is on her back her feet are in her mouth! Still not rolling but still trying every day so it will happen one day.

Right its almost 10pm now and this has taken me longer than I had anticpated as I have been talking to my niece in Ireland on MSN while doing this. Am looking forward to the weekend as my brother from Christchurch is coming up for the weekend. Catch ya all later xx

2007-04-22T20:38:00.000+12:00

Just for Chris and CM (and anyone else) who don't know what an exersaucer is (see earlier post from today). Here are a couple of pics and the blurb taken from the auction. Only just heard back from the seller tonight so will be collecting it on Wednesday since we have the day off (ANZAC day).

This exersaucer is in excellent condition and has the following features:

6 activities to keep baby amused.
Height adjustable to 3 levels.
Seat can be either fixed or swivelling.
Stabilising legs which can be tucked under to allow baby to rock back and forth.
Removable seat cover for easy washing.

Can be used for babies from about 5 months and up to at least 12 months.

Though from what I know about them - most kids get frustrated with them once they are on the move (which I guess is understandable) but I think it will be a wee while before Rachel really starts moving!

Right off to bed now... everything is ready for another week! :)

2007-04-22T10:25:00.000+12:00

Hi ya

I know I said in my last post that I had heaps I wanted to say but do you think I can remember what it was.... NOPE! LOL Oh well never mind - I am sure it will come back to me at some stage.

In regards to the blogger awards that are doing the rounds at the moment - it seems like everyone has already been nominated and I just can't choose my favorite 5 as I would feel bad for leaving someone off the list as you ALL rock and you ALL motivate me in one way or another and you are ALL my friends! So I nominate you ALL!!! Each and everyone of you! Yeah I know that's cheating but hey that's life :)

I had a lovely catch up with the Antenatal ladies and bubs yesterday at Mayfair cafe in Upper Hutt. It was a bit of a squeeze with the buggies/capsules but we made it and it was fantastic! Unfortunately 2 of them were unable to make it due to other commitments but the 6 of us that were there have decided that a weekend catch up every month or so is a fantastic idea especially for us working mums (4 of us are working already). So the next catch up is going to be a dinner out for mummies only! Yay it means going out with a handbag rather than a nappy bag/pram/baby etc etc... It will be a late dinner unfortunately (I don't like eating late) due to some of the babes being breastfed but thats cool :) I can't wait so have sent out an email with two suggestive dates and venues so will wait to hear back from the other wonderful ladies!

Then after lunch and Rachel had had a nap, I put her in the buggy and walked down to Rachel's place. It was great catching up with her and the boys. Adam loved talking and playing with little Rachel - it was so sweet to watch. Unfortunately, she started getting grumpy and tired pretty quickly, so it was back in the pram and she was fast asleep by the time we got to the end of the street!

Rachel has been rather grumpy today so I think we will be staying at home today. She is also getting the beginning of another cold! BUGGER! Has got the snuffles and also a cough! At this stage, she is generally ok when she is up but will see how she is later on and in the morning... I think her teeth are also playing up - they must be moving around in the gums quite a bit so am using the good ole trusty bonjela as well as Welda teething powder and then pamol occasionally as well.

We have bought Rachel an exersaucer off TradeMe this morning (using the lovely "buy now" button) so am just waiting to hear back from them as I am really hoping that we can go and collect it this afternoon (from Tawa). It is a fairly basic one but that's fine as it only cost $60 and I am sure we will get our money back on TM once she has finished in it! I am using TM a bit these days for some winter clothes and shoes/slippers for Rachel.

Oh I had Friday off work in the end after a very rough night with Rachel on Thursday so after only having approx 3hrs sleep and a thumping headache, I decided that the best place for me was bed... so took Rachel to Daycare and came back home to bed! It was bliss sleeping for another couple of hours or so and then having a loooong shower without having to rush!!! LOL But it did feel rather strange being at home without Rachel!

Anyway, best I get moving and do some stuff while Rachel is sleeping and she doesn't tend to sleep long during the day these days.

Catch ya all later :)

2007-04-19T15:13:00.000+12:00

Hi all

Just thought I would do a quick post from work since I seem to be running out of time (and/or energy) in the evenings these days.

All going ok - have had a relatively good week foodwise and water wise so am feeling rather good about things. Found out today that my work have got a "Healthy Eating" group running (started last week) as there is a lady in one of the teams who used to be a WW leader (for 10 years) so she is giving up one lunch hr a week to chat to those of us who need support/motivation/a kick up the butt or just a friend to chat to. There are 12 ladies in the group (though it is open to the guys as well) and I will be joining up next week when they meet on Tuesday. They have purchased scales and it costs just $2 session which is then given to Julie (the "leader") for giving up her time. Like I have said before, I know what I should and shouldn't be eating and I know that I need to exercise - I just need a bit more encouragement and by joining up this group I will hopefully get that encouragment. I have had a couple of encouraging comments lately from people around the office asking me how much weight I have lost recently... to which the answer is NONE! But I think it is because I am starting to present myself a bit better now and am wearing my good work trousers and boots! It is amazing how much better you feel and how you carry yourself when you are feeling good on the inside!

I know I wouldn't have come this far without you wonderful ladies but sometimes I feel I need to have that real life weigh in in front of others to really help me along. So stay tuned and hopefully I will soon start loosing some of this excess weight that I haven't been able to shift since Rachel's arrival!

Speaking of Rachel - she has taken to waking early in the morning (between 4-5am) and lays in her cot and talks non stop for about an hour before grizzling and if I am lucky she may fall back to sleep for a while but more often than not she is wanting to get up then! So I have had some early starts this week and it is now starting to take its toll on me!

I have organised an antenatal catch up for this Saturday morning since there are 4 of us (out of 10) that are back at work already and miss out on the fortnightly catch ups during the day. So 5 of us are meeting at a cafe in Upper Hutt with our darling babes for brunch/breakfast/morning tea or whatever people feel like so I am really looking forward to that. And it sounds like the working mums want this to be a regular (monthly) occurance so that will be great if it is - will give us something to look forward to.

Anyway, this is supposed to be a quick update since I am at work - got heaps of other stuff to say but that will have to wait for now - will try to do an update at the weekend. Oh thanks to Lyn for the nomination in the "thinking bloggers" award. That means so much to me and thank you for your kind words. I will do my nominations (although I think all my blogs that I would nominate have already been nominated by others but never mind) over the weekend.

Catch ya all later xx

2007-04-14T20:29:00.000+12:00

Hi all

Oooops sorry, didn't realise it had almost been a week since I updated. Though not a lot to say which is why I guess I haven't done an update. Just plodding on and surviving the working week and then spending quality time with Rachel in the evenings and weekends.

Am trying to make my way through Helena's "bible" which she kindly lent me last week and I have done the questionnaire so I know what sort of food I should be eating and which to avoid but just have to finish doing the serious reading before really getting into it all. There are a few things which I am gonna find hard to avoid eating/drinking but am sure I can do this. Am still only weighing myself once a week - bugger speaking of which as I type this sentence I realise that I didn't weigh myself this morning so will try to remember to do it in the morning. Gees never ever thought I would/could do weekly weighing let alone forgetting to weigh! LOL

Rachel is doing well with her night sleeping which is fantastic for us as it means this mummy can usually get about 7-8hrs sleep each night. Sometimes, it is interrupted with Rachel grizzling or talking away to herself but very rarely do I (or Steph) need to get up to her. And we have turns at the weekend at getting up early, I usually do Saturday mornings and Steph does Sundays. Though I rarely do sleep in when Steph is up to her.... it's not that I don't trust him at all, I just call it motherly instinct and hearing "everything" that is going on. But it is great to be able to just lay there and get up about 8.30am rather than 5.45am which I do during the week. Her day sleeping sometimes needs a bit of work but hey as long as she sleeps at night then I am happy :)

Rachel seems to be thriving at Daycare which is great. She is always full of smiles as soon as we get there each morning - smiling and chatting away to the ladies :) She is starting to a lot of texture work etc with Dayna (her care giver) and has also done some hand/finger painting... or something like that as her clothes came home covered in paint one day. I keep meaning to ask them what they had gotten up to that day but Dayna was away sick last week... must try to remember that on Monday.

She is almost rolling and just loves sitting rather than laying... not sitting by herself yet but I would say that isn't too far away for our big girl! Rachel is still enjoying her evening solids - has now tried Pumpkin & Sweetcorn, Parsnip, kumera & Carrot (both Watties brands) and homemade pumpkin, carrot and kumera mixed with a bit of apple or pear. She had her first meal in her highchair this evening - boy she looked so small yet so grown up in it! But boy it was so much easier (and cleaner) to do it in there rather than the bouncer like we have been for the last 3 weeks!

Rachel and I went for a walk for an hour this morning - it was lovely although she didn't sleep for as long as I intentend but hey that's life. We both had a great time. I did contemplate calling into Rachel's place, but as I hadn't showered, hadn't had breakfast and was sweating like a pig, I thought it might be best I just keep walking back home! But I did really enjoy it and really must make an effort to do them more often especially when the weather is so nice. So all going well, we will do another walk in the morning.

Anyway, time for me to get moving, washing machine has finished so best I go hang out the nappies (yes we are still using cloth naps and loving it)!

Catch ya all later xx

2007-04-09T16:30:00.000+12:00

A big thank you, thank you, thank you to every one of you who left me a comment or sent me the most touching emails after my last post! You gals all rock and mean so much to me! You have all come up with some brilliant suggestions and ideas... all of which have been read, discussed with Stephan and talked about quite a bit this weekend. The hiring of a treadmill etc to use at home is a fabulous idea but those of you who have been to our house know that there is not a lot of room to spare as it is let alone finding room to put a treadmill but thats not necessarily saying we can't do it but its a matter of space... so its still be talked about. Steph and I have done lots of talking after he read my post so we are doing lots of talking and seeing what we can do to help me get re-motivated and what we can do budget wise so I will keep you all posted but for now it sure is baby steps - one step at a time and I will get there - it may take another couple of years but I will get there!

We have had a great long weekend as I had Thursday off work as well on Annual Leave due to Rachel having Plunket and also a Drs appointment and then we also caught up with two friends who have babies as well. Plunket went well - Rachel is now 7.64 kilos and is 65cm long (only 85 more cm till she is as tall as I am LOL) and her head is measuring 45cm. Plunket nurse was overall very happy with Rachel and is happy with her solids intake. Drs appt went well too - Gillian is also pleased with Rachel overall and we got some antibiotic cream for Rachel's big toes as the nail on both toes are growing funny (apparently babies don't get ingrown toe nails but thats more or less what she has) so we just have to massage the cream in twice a day which Rachel doesn't like but these things need to be done!

Friday was a very social day for us - catching up with my friends Sharlene, Frank and Freda in the morning. Frank hadn't seen Rachel since she was approx 1 week old as everytime we seem to pop in there he is at work! Then after lunch (and a sleep for Rachel) we went and checked out Steph's sister's new house around the corner from us then after home for another sleep, we went down to our friends Lynaire and Kev's place for fish 'n' chips and a good catch up. Rachel was very well behaved considering how much we had been out and about all day.

Saturday - I had my haircut in the morning (although its a wee bit too short for my liking right now) before we headed to Queensgate Shopping Centre and to see the Bank. We left the bank feeling a bit better about our financial situation so hopefully we will be able to get back on our feet... Grabbed Easter Eggs for the nieces/nephews from the Warehouse and did a bit of walking around before grabbing a bite to eat at the Foodcourt. I had the yummiest Shusi for lunch and felt great for making a healthy choice! We ran into Janene and Jorja and their friend Phillipa while there and Rachel really wanted to make an impression on Janene so promptly threw up all over her within seconds of being in her arms! Oooops! I feel so bad about that but I know it was beyond our control. Rachel then had a quiet afternoon at home while I hit the Supermarket for groceries. Quiet evening at home while I made a Peach Cake for dessert for our family meal on Sunday.

Sunday - hit the road early to head up to Mums for Easter Lunch. My sister, her partner and his girls were there also as well as my sisters eldest son who lives around the corner from Mum. It was a great catch up with lunch consisting of roast pork and roast lamb along with a huge variety of veggies. Then dessert was Peach cake, fresh fruit salad and a pavalova. I only had the Peach cake which I must admit was quite delicious! :) After lunch and the dishes had been done, we went for a walk to the beach as it was such a brilliant day! In fact, it was better than the weather we had Christmas time up there! Rachel was so well behaved given all the attention she was getting from her cousins and aunty etc... She slept well in the portacot too which was a relief :)

Today - a quiet day at home though we did do a quick visit to Stephs brothers place this morning to drop the kids easter eggs off. Rachel had a lovely time before just sitting out on the deck with me watching the trees moving gently in the breeze.

I can't believe how much she is growing these days... and the interaction we have with her now is unbelievable and so much fun! We got a 3 generation photo taken yesterday while at Mums but it is NOT a good photo at all so I think I will wait until we get a better one before sharing it with you. She is almost rolling now - gets 1/2 way there and then lays there for a wee while before rolling back... her giggle is so contagious too! She is enjoying her solids for dinner too... have had a couple of days with fruit in the mornings - am playing that one by ear as some days she finishes her bottle so quickly and wants more yet other days she is not interested in anything after her bottle.

Anyway, speaking of her - she has woken from her afternoon nap, so best I get moving... but before I go I will share my current favourite photo of her. Have a good week everyone.

Long Post

2007-04-04T12:58:00.000+12:00

Before I start my entry for today, I want to say that I am well aware that I am the only one who can "fix" all the issues that I am going through but right now I don't have the the motivation or energy to do any fixing at all! So for the mean time, I am going to get everything off my chest and out in the open and then work on them one by one… Oh this is probably the most "open" I have been on here for a LONG time so do bear with me as I ramble on...

I am so unhappy with my body at the moment. I know prior to starting my weightloss journey in 2003, I wasn't happy with it but I accepted it and then after losing 42 kilos I was accepting it and starting to be happy with it and proud of who I was and was able to walk tall (or as tall as possible for me) and proud and wear nice clothes and makeup and feel great about myself. But now, I just hate my body and the way it looks! I am so self concious of the way it sags and jiggles and bounces with every movement I make - I don't even like being naked with Steph around! Every morning before I get in the shower, I see myself in the mirror and just want to cry! The scales have crept back up to the 100's!!! NOOOOO!!! But yes unfortunately they have - am now sitting on 101.2 kilos :( Although, I must say that I have been able to change from weighing daily for at least the last 3 years to weighing on a Saturday morning.

Like I said, I know that the only person who can do anything about this is me, myself and I… but before anything happens I have to get me, myself and I motivated to do it! And like we all know, I have to want to do this for ME, not for my family, friends or anyone else but for ME! And I do want to do this for ME but I guess I am feeling lost, confused and lonely at times… Helena came for a visit (while taking Trude for a ride) on Sunday morning and we had a really good talk about her "Bible" and her "New Testament" and after discussing it with Steph afterwards we have decided that I am going to try and get those two books and see if that can help me get back on track with the weight loss. So I have got a search set up on TradeMe but so far neither of the books have been listed… Might have to end up resorting to buying them brand new but in all honestly we can't really afford that but if needs be… then I will! I am also considering looking at reading the Gwyen Roth books that both Kate and Janene mention in their blogs as I do think a lot of my eating is done with/through emotions!

I also know that just changing my eating habits is not going to get rid of the weight, it will help but it won't do the job totally! I also have to exercise! Exercise - what's that??? Okay, I do walk to and from work and the Railway Station each day so that’s 2 x 20 min walks. In the mornings, it is a medium pace as I walk up with one of the other mums from daycare but in the afternoons when I am by myself, I do walk a bit faster to get my heartrate up! I have made enquires about the gym in Heretaunga (YMCA) which has really reasonable weekly fees so am currently thinking about that but my main issue with joining a gym is time! Yes I know I have to make the time for ME but while Rachel is still so young (okay she is 5mths old now) I want to be with her in the evenings as that is the quality precious time I have with her! So I don't want to miss out on that time while being at the gym… and there is no way I can do the mornings as I already get up at 5.45am each day to get myself and Rachel fed, dressed and organised for the day so we can be out of the door by 7.25am. The weekends would be a good time to do the gym but is it worth joining a gym when I only go 2 days a week and then it would be full on exercise for two days in a row and then just the walking for 5 days… doesn't really make sense to me! We also have a gym next door to work (Contours) but once again it is the situation as above… and also I have never heard anyone rave about their experiences at Contours - all I hear is "oh it is ok".

I know my Iron levels are ok but perhaps I do need to look at taking some Vitamin C perhaps to give me some more "boost" in my day as I am really tired of being tired all the time. But then again it comes down to $$$ to be able to buy them. Our financial situation at the moment is very tight and of course that leads to more stress for Steph and I but we are seeing the bank on Saturday (yay the joys of banks being open on Saturdays) and will hopefully get things sorted so we can relax a wee bit more. Things will still be tight but not as bad as they are at the moment…

I do need to find time for ME but right now that's just not an option… If I was at home all day with Rachel, then I wouldn't hesitate in going to the gym in the evenings and leaving her with Steph but as the two hours between me getting home and Rachel going to bed are so precious I don't want to do things in that period. Some people would say that I do get ME time while on the train each morning and evening but in my eyes, that is not quality ME time! That is time for me to prepare myself for work (in the mornings) and then to prepare myself for the evening (in the afternoons). When I talk about ME time, I am talking about time away from Steph, away from Rachel, away from family… doing something that I want to do by myself or with friends!

Anyway, I think I have rambled on enough today - I probably should get back to work though I did start this at 9.30am this morning and have been working on it in between proper work! I have been wanting to say a lot of this for ages but never find the time in the evenings to write this much...

Footnote added @ 9.45pm - A couple of comments have suggested that I do the gym at lunchtime however I forgot to mention in my main post that lunch is really out of the question as I only have 30mins max for lunch due to the fact that I am getting paid for full time hours but only working about 7hrs a day as it is due to the fact that I can't drop Rachel off to Daycare till 7.30am so therefore I don't get to work till about 9am depending on the trains.... and I am still finishing at my "normal/regular" time so feel bad if I take to longer breaks during the day. And I don't want to take advantage of the Departments flexibility that they are offering me.

2007-03-30T20:43:00.000+12:00

Wow time sure is flying by.... can't believe it that I last updated on Monday and now here we are on Friday night!

Yay we have survived two weeks in a row at daycare which in turns means mummy and daddy also had two full weeks at their respective jobs! Thats probably why I am so tired! Haven't worked a full two weeks in the office since about September last year!!! Obviously when I was at home with Rachel I was working 24/7 but you know what I am meaning!

Rachel is still having 1 meal a day of solids... did an SOS email to some of you wonderful mummies out there earlier in the week re introducing two solid meals to her and thanks again for your wonderful replies. I did try it one morning and she wasn't really interested so have just stuck to the evening feed for now. Am looking forward to getting some veggies tomorrow to make a batch of veggies for her and then freezing them up for when she is ready.

We had Parent Teacher interviews with Rachel's caregiver on Wednesday night and we discussed our aspirations for Rachel which did seem quite silly but it was a great chance to just chat with her about general day to day stuff.

Her sleeping has been pretty good this week which obviously means that I too have been getting some sleep - still feel pretty tired and run down at times but thats all part of the course of being a full time working mummy!

Just a note to WRAKBW who left a note on a recent post - I certainly know that I am by no means the only working mother but remember this is MY journal and I WILL say what I want to to say and if you don't like it... tough! Don't bother reading it!

This weekend we have Rachel's 5mth jabs on Saturday morning so am not really looking forward to that as it means we will have a very grizzly little girl on our hands Saturday afternoon and could also mean a rough night for us on Saturday. But thats about it for our plans so a nice quiet one hopefully but on saying that there is still housework, washing etc to be done.

Right, time to make tracks - hope you all have a good weekend.

"Firsts"

2007-03-25T21:02:00.000+12:00

We have had a weekend of "firsts" here so thats great! Friday evening while Rachel was having some tummy time she FINALLY lifted her head and was looking around and grinning away very pleased with herself (all she has done previous is just lay there), then on Saturday she had her first bounce in her new Jolly Jumper and she just loved it! Though mental note to her mummy - do not put her in it just after a full bottle! LOL Then today Rachel had her first taste of solids! And she loved it and ate almost the whole lot with very little spat out! That was at lunch time and a bit of baby rice with apple and cool boiled water (had no formula made up) and then she had some more just before bath time this evening... so am really hoping she will sleep a lot better tonight as I just don't know how much longer I can go on with her waking two/three times a night! Will keep her on the baby rice for this week and will give it to her once I get home from work and then will try some veggies at the weekend (got some great tips from my friend Jo whose daughter Maddie has recently started on solids).

Thanks to you all for your lovely comments and emails about Rachel's photos - yes she sure is growing very quickly! We got some great photos of her this weekend doing her "firsts" as well as some others so once they are downloaded I will share them with you all.

We have our fingers crossed that we can get through a second consecutive week of daycare as so far she hasn't done 2 full weeks in a row yet due to her cold and then her diarrhea.

Anyway, better get moving, things to do before heading to bed for the night (and hopefully a good nights sleep) and want to give mum a quick call too... hope you all have a great week.

A few photos...

2007-03-22T21:35:00.000+12:00

Thanks...

2007-03-18T21:07:00.000+12:00

A BIG THANK YOU to you all for your lovely comments, emails and txt's after my last post. I am feeling a bit better now especially since we are all healthy again in our home (touch wood). Still a bit down about a couple of things but will work through those over time...

On Friday, both Steph and I went back to work and my Mum came over from the Kapiti Coast to look after Rachel for us. Sounds like they had a great day together once Rachel settled down and let Mum give her the bottles. And I know Mum throughly enjoyed it!

I had a lovely day yesterday shopping at Queensgate with my friend Jo who was having time out from her daughter Maddie :) It was supposed to be child free time for me too but unfortunately Steph was not very well yesterday (upset tum etc) so ended up taking Rachel with me but that was alright though she did start getting grizzly after an hour or so of shopping. Both Jo and I had fun at Farmers in their sale buying up large for our girls for the coming winter months!

Not much happening here today - though Rachel had a restless night last night stirring/grizzling at 12am, 1am and then woke properly at 3am so gave her a bottle and all she wanted to do was play and "talk" to me! Very frustrating but she eventually took 100mls and fell asleep! But was up again at 6.15am but Steph got up to her then. Have had a nice day at Mums today (as DH was fixing her computer) and came home with 1/2 chicken (dinner for us tomorrow) and 1/2 banana cake! YUM YUM!!!

Rachel is now becoming very vocal and chats and giggles away all the time when she is in her bouncer or on her play mat and in her cot too at times! She is back to daycare tomorrow after having a week off with her diarrhea etc... so back to our routine tomorrow so her bag is packed, nappy bucket is in the car...

Anyway, time for me to head to bed as I have a slight headache and didn't sleep well last night (with Rachels stirring) so am hoping we get a good night tonight. Catch ya all later...