Been doing lots of thinking over last few days and have decided that I am gonna print out these two photos to remind me of where I DON'T want to go back to (and WON'T go back to) and of how far I did get and of where I WILL get back to (and further)!

The before photo was taken in Oct 2002 (and one of the photos that spurred me into losing weight) and then the next photo was taken Christmas Day 2005 when I was at 88.9 kilos (so having lost approx 42 kilos)!

I am taking one day at a time and taking baby steps in regards to my eating habits - can't go cold turkey on all my "bad habits" - so just working on one habit at a time and then when I have that one under control I will move on to another one. And with daylight saving starting this weekend I am really hoping that I will be able to get out walking after Rachel has gone to bed and the dishes are done... even if I can get out for 30 mins 3 times a week to start off with.

So onto other things - not a lot happening really. Rachel is growing SO SO fast! Can't believe that in under 6 weeks time our baby will be 1! So am busy starting to organise her first birthday! My biggest diliema is wanting to invite everyone I can but we have such a small living area so have had to limit it to immediate family and her godparents and my friend Lynaire (and Kev and girls) who was there with us at Rachel's birth.

Anyway, it's 9.45pm so that means time for bed... but before I go - here are a couple more photos but of Rachel this time :)

Having fun with the mirror...


Having fun with a balloon (one of her new favourite toys these days)...



Right time for bed - catch ya all later xx

Hi ya

Just a quickie from me before I head off to bed... but realised that its been a week since my last update so thought I would pop in to say hi!

Am plodding on slowly with my ankle - the physio is impressed with the way it is healing and should only have one more session with her. However, since the fall my back has been playing up a bit so must have jolted it in my fall so the physio has said she will have a look at that during our next session.

Rachel really is well and truely on the move now with her commando crawling and rolling. And is now starting to try to pull herself up on the couch and coffee table. She tried it this morning on her toy box and fell forward and gave herself a nasty bumpy and graze on her forehead (first of many bumps I am sure) - no tears at all and wasn't impressed with me when I tried putting a cold face cloth on it! She kept pushing it away and wanted to keep on playing! So she obviously has a higher pain threshold than her mum! LOL

Work is pretty full on at the moment and its definitely panning out to be "one of those" weeks at this stage!

Right am off to bed.... catch ya all later xx

Hi ya

Well after my post on Saturday morning, we had an eventful evening as we were at our friends (Lynaire and Kev) friends place for pizza and all was going well and we were having a great time.... Steph had just left to go into town for his shooting competition, so Lynaire, her niece and I decided to check out their sleepout and the work that they had done and as I was walking down the back stairs, I missed the last one and had a nasty fall on to concrete! And all I can say is THANK GOD I WAS NOT CARRYING RACHEL AT THE TIME (I had just put her down in the portacot) as I just shudder to think what the outcome could have been!!!

Anyway, end result after a visit (and $60 later) to the After Hours Medical Center and then down the road to A&E for an xray to ensure it wasn't broken (4 hours later) is that I have a badly twisted ankle! Got very minimal sleep that night after getting home just before midnight! Sunday was a very quiet day for us as I was literally quite useless!!! The most frustrating part for me has been not able to carry, lift, change Rachel etc... And lets just say that Steph got a feel of how much I do actually do around here! LOL But all credit to him as he is doing a great job! And as much as I wanted to call in sick today - the fact that I had been off for 4 days last week with Rachel, I felt to guilty so rung the boss on Sunday night and had a chat to him and he organised the use of one of the emergency staff car parks in the basement for me to use (left ankle is the injured one and we have an automatic) so drove into town and typical the price of petrol went up today! So managed to hobble around work for the day but unfortunately the chair that my foot was to be elevated on wouldn't fit under my desk so it wasn't elevated as much as it should have been so is quite swollen tonight (but do have it up now).

So... with all of that happening, we were unable to get the family portrait done as it is on the 2nd floor of the building with two flights of steps to get up to them... which was something I was not going to attempt on crutches! So rung them and due to the circumstances (which were beyond my control) they were willing to let us transfer the sitting to another day so need to ring them later in the week to make a new date!

Have got physio tomorrow morning so will see how that goes...

Anyway, getting tired and sore from this position and the nappies need folding... so will love ya and leave ya... catch ya all later :)

Hi all

Thought I would try to do an update while Rachel is playing happily on the floor but how long that will last is a totally different story.

I have been home with her since Tuesday so it has been a long week! We were hoping that she would be able to be back at daycare on Friday however due to the epidemic of rotovirus (contagious form of vomiting and diarrhea) in the Hutt Valley, the MOH (Ministry of Health) enforced a 48 hr period from the last runny nappy they had until they can return to daycare. Therefore, as Rachel's last runny nappy was about 5pm on Wednesday she needed to have Friday off too!

We have had some wonderful moments but we have had our frustrating moments as well and she has pushed my buttons to the max! But the best thing is that she is definitely on the mend now and today was the first day all week that she had some toast for breakfast.

We have a first birthday party to go today (at lunchtime) and we were getting worried that we wouldn't be able to go but as she has gone the 48hrs without being sick or a runny nappy then we are in the clear to attend! :) So can't wait for that as it will be so much fun - just hope Madam Rachel is a bit less grumpy than she is this morning. We have had 3 invites to parties today so we are attending two of them - the first birthday and then another one this afternoon and then home for Rachel as no doubt I will have a tired grumpy girl on my hands by then and her daddy has to go shooting as his team is in the final tonight.

Tomorrow, we have a portrait sitting that we won at the child show in Porirua recently so am looking forward to that - just hope Rachel is going to show off her best smiles! LOL

I would like to offer my sincere condolonces to Lyn and her family as they grieve the loss of two tiny nephews. How terribly sad for them all especially for her sister. *hugs to you all*

I would also like to say go Lennie!!! You are doing fabulous job recovering from such major surgery and I knew it wouldn't be long before you were doing the updates - though Craig was doing a fabulous job in your absence! He should seriously consider starting his own blog as he has a great way of writing! :) Can't wait to see your new bod! :)

Okay madam is getting grumpy now - and wants my attention. I knew the rugby would hold her attention for only a short time. Catch ya all later xx

Boy another week gone by and we are into September and spring already!

Firstly, well done to Helena on having her surgery done yesterday and from the update on her blog (by her beloved Craig) and on Rachel's blog - it sounds like all is going extremely well for her recovery! I sent her a text today and she is sounding so cheerful and I can't wait to catch up with her once she is home.

Secondly - thanks for the comments and emails regarding Rachel's class trip at daycare... we went with our gut feeling and said no to her going with them. She was the only one that didn't attend but had one on one attention with her care giver at creche so she had lots of fun with Tish :) She will have plenty more opportunities to attend other trips during her 4 years there!

We got the photos back from creche - not sure if I mentioned that we were quite disappointed with them but managed to select 4 to get the basic package. We got them yesterday and they do look great but now I just gotta work out the new scanner (okay not that new but I haven't used it as yet) so I can share them with you all.

There has been a nasty tummy bug going around the creche and after a week I was quite thrilled that Rachel hadn't succumbed to it.... well until last night that was! About 5 mins after I walked in the door and we had just put her in the highchair when next minute she did the most full on power chuck! EWWWWWWWWWW!!! So she had a bath, 1/2 her bottle and bed... got prepared with getting bedding etc out just in case we had an urgent change required during the night. But it wasn't required as she slept soundly all night - well until she started chatting about 5am :) So due to the 24 hr policy at daycare, I stayed home with her (much to the annoyance of my boss but tough titties) but boy it was a very full on day with Rachel being very, very clingy indeed!!! So apart from that she was her normal happy self until after her lunch bottle (or less than half of it) when she brought it back up again! So back to bed for her and when she woke up, hmmmmm it had started at the other end if you know what I mean!!! So rung daycare and told them she won't be in tomorrow either - sounds like the bug is quite nasty and knocking both staff and kids for six! She ate about 1 fish finger mashed up and then a wee bit of fruit for tea, and then half her bottle before going to bed. So will be interesting to see how she is tonight... and then again tomorrow.

I shot up to the supermarket after tea and bought a new pack of disposables for her as that is the only problem with cloth naps and diaoreha! But it is only the 2nd pack of nappies that we have had to buy in 6mths! The last time was when she had diaoreha just after she started at day care!

We have a real busy weekend ahead of us this weekend so fingers crossed we are all over the bugs by then! We have had 3 invites to 3 different birthday parties on Saturday so are attending two of them :) And then on Sunday, we have a family portrait sitting that we won at the child show we went to Porirua a few weeks ago - only problem being it is right on Rachels afternoon nap time so it will hopefully go ok. But it will be nice to get a decent photo of the three of us!

Anyway, time I was outta here - but before I go I will share a couple more photos of Rachel (and me) that were taken last weekend by my brother who was up from Chch. He has a fascination with Rachels eyes! LOL

Just cause I can...

See Mum - I can read!!!


After a day of hard play at day care!


Peek-a-boo I see you!


In one of my fav places - under the coffee table!


Just thought I would share some photos while I had the time to do it... am at home today as I have got a nasty sore throat and a headache that keeps coming and going and am a bit snuffly too! Felt yucky all day yesterday but just plodded on but I had a real crap night last night (as did Rachel) and woke and could hardly swallow and ached everywhere! So decided that the best place for me was bed! So struggled around this morning and got Rachel off to day care (Steph would have done it for me and got to work later but he had to open up for the day)... once Rachel had been dropped off it was straight back to bed for me for 3 hours! Felt a bit better then and after a nice hot shower I felt a little bit better yet again. So finally had something to eat a wee while ago (2 min noodles) and have just been sipping away on my water bottle while blobbing out.

I think Rachel may be coming down with it too as I had to wipe her nose just before we left for daycare and she had been coughing quite a bit last night despite the vapouriser going and having a dose of some medicine. Typical that we get sick just as we have a family lunch to go to on Sunday though if either (or both) myself or Rachel are not well on Sunday we won't be going anywhere as we certainly don't want to spread our germies around.

Now some opinions please... we got a permission slip yesterday from day care saying that the nursery room (where Rachel is) are going to do a trip to Te Papa for a story book session. They are going in the official van which holds car seats etc but Rachel is the only one there who is still in a rear facing car seat so my concern is can vans have rear facing seats in them? And would there be a place for tether straps? Yeah I know I will ask day care those questions as well... but I am wondering if I am just being to paranoid or what? My personal opinion is that she is to young for this sort of trip as yet - yes we read to her (not as much as we should) but she is more interested in eating the books etc rather than listening to it. I think I will ask for her to stay behind a the centre or is that just being mean? Oh it is also right in the middle of when she normally has her morning sleep... and she really is still to young to realise that she has been left behind so to speak... yes she will know that most/all of her friends aren't there but she will be having fun with the next room which she just loves cause they have lovebirds in there! So what do you gals think?

Oh we booked tickets to Christchurch last night getting CHEAP fares on the new Pacific Blue airline! Worked out it was so much easier to do that and book a rental car rather than the 3 hrs on the ferry, petrol to and from Picton etc... So we are heading down lunchtime on Boxing Day and then come back lunchtime on the 2nd Jan :) So yes Paula - we are coming down so look out!!! Will drop you an email to give you more details but hopefully your offer still stands :)

Before I disappear, after a few emails to Janene yesterday, I have decided to give Reductil a go to give me a boost in the right direction. So just need to make the Drs appointment and go from there.... but am looking forward to it. Have done some research on the net and all looks ok :)

Right, time I was moving... catch ya all later.

Hi all

Anne, thanks for the email this evening - I would have replied but we are having MAJOR problems with our email at the moment. Anyone else with Xtra having problems since their upgrade at the weekend???

All going ok here just busy plodding on day by day. I never get to sit down properly for the evenings during the week till about 8.30/9pm and by then I check emails (can receive but not send at the moment), play my online backgammon games (family thing since Dad died) and then check out the parents forum, it's usually time for bed! Yeap I am in bed almost every evening between 9.30-10pm including the weekends!

Just tried to download the latest photos of Rachel but the camera battery was flat so have got that charging at the moment so will do that later in the week... oh we got the ones back from Daycare that were taken at the beginning of the month and we are quite disappointed with them! We have got better ones on our camera and disks! Will get the basic set but no extras :(

Rachel spent the day at home with her daddy today as she woke yesterday with another bout of conjunctivitis! Steph picked it up as soon as he got her up in the morning so once I was up and dressed, we headed to the chemist and got some drops for her (had a repeat remaining from the last time she had it) and started treating her straight away and they were looking quite good this morning though she has been one very grumpy grizzly girl yesterday and today so will see how she is in the morning and if needs be I will stay home with her. I think it is her top teeth still annoying her - I just wish they would make a god damn appearance as they seem to be causing her nothing but problems!

Have got a few busy weekends ahead of us which will keep us out of mischief! Am really annoyed though as we have my nieces family birthday lunch in Petone on Sunday but was also invited to attend the Women's Expo by Helena who is organising a great day out for the most amazing women around! :) Am gutted that I am gonna miss the get together but that's life and life sure can be a right bitch at times. The following weekend we have the Upper Hutt Spring Festival and then a Baby shower to attend. The following one is my friend Jo's daughters Maddies 1st birthday party - can't wait for that! Then the following one, there is the Parent and Child Show in town and we also have Rachel's 10mth Menz B jab! Probably sounds worse than it actually is but will keep us busy. Then late Oct/early Nov we have another run of busy weekends. And then of course it will be Christmas time!

Anyway, it's past 9.30pm now and my electric blanket should have warmed the bed up nicely by now... and my back is starting to annoy me (that's another long story altogether). Catch ya all later :)

Hi all

Thank you all for your lovely comments, texts and emails after my last post... sorry I have kept you waiting for so long but have had a hectic few days and kept running out of time to sit down and post on here.

Had the mammogram on Thursday - no where near as bad as I thought it would be. Lovely wonderful nurse who made me so relaxed and comfortable. Yes there was a bit of discomfort for approx 3 secs each time they took a photo (5 times in my case) but that was all. The nurse showed the results to the radiologist while I waited and all seemed ok from what they could see but would still need to see the specialist on Monday (today). Saw him this morning and he was a lovely guy and after showing me the correct way I should be doing my monthly breast check, he then did a check himself (with a nurse present at all times) and then did an ultra sound as well which showed up an all clear breast! So basically after all of that - I have an "overactive hormonal breast" LOL I need to go back in 2 months time for a recheck but overall I got the all clear! YAY!!!

Have had full on few days. Rachel's plunket check went well and she is weighing in at 9.4 kilos at 9mths which we are happy with. Plunket nurse was happy with her overall progress in all aspects :) We have been trying some new finger foods recently including: cheese (not that keen on it), luncheon sausage (thinks its ok), dried apricots (loves these) and fish fingers (loves these too). Still 2 teeth and still only crawling but is trying to pull herself up on some things so is definitely trying to get more mobile. We had a couple of days when her cough seemed to return but it seems to be ok again now (touch wood). Spent yesterday in Masterton and went for a trip up to Mount Bruce Wildlife Centre which was fun and as always it was great catching up with my sister, her partner and his girls.

It really sucked being back at work today - I did sweet fuck all work to be honest! Spent most of the day clearing emails and sorting out things on my desk! Just couldn't get my motivation back to get stuck into it all so hopefully I have it tomorrow otherwise I could be in deep shit! LOL

Right, its 9.20pm now and I still need to organise Rachel's bag for tomorrow and then head to bed... so will say good night now and will catch ya all later :)

Wow 2 updates in 2 days! That hasn't happened for a long time! But just wanted to a post on my visit to the Dr yesterday.

After chatting and getting a repeat of my PND meds and a repeat for the Pill... I mentioned a rash under my arm - turns out that I have a fungal infection under my arms!! EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW Have no idea how the hell that happened as its not as if it is the middle of summer and I am sweating heaps! So have a cream to treat that with - shit forgot the lunchtime application - must remember to do it when I go to bed. Anyway, after that - I decided to mention a pain I had been getting for the last week or so in my right breast - so Dr did a check and discovered a lump! But she is pretty confident that due to me having the pain that it is more than likely to be a cyst rather than anything else... and as we have medical insurance I decided that I may as make use of it and go privately so am getting a mamogram and ultra sound done tomorrow and then seeing the specialist first thing Monday morning. If it is a cyst - it will just need to be drained (with a big needle). So fingers crossed it is just a cyst but will keep you posted once I know more but until then its just a matter of waiting, waiting, waiting...

The only thing that annoys me is that tomorrow was gonna be a "me and Rachel" day and can't really have her sitting there for all the time while I am getting the mamogram and ultra sound done... so have decided that I will keep her home in the morning, take her to Plunket and then drop her off to day care before going to Lower Hutt for the tests. And then will probably keep her at home on Friday to spend the day with her then.

Today, I had a good day down at Westfield shopping centre - and finally spent my vouchers on two decent bras!!! I haven't had a new bra since getting my maternity ones when I was 8mths pregnant! So I have been wearing those ones for 10 mths then!!! So got a fitting done and although the cup size is still the same, I have gone up from an 18 to a 20! Must admit they feel so much more comfortable! :) Also tried on some new clothes while I was there - GOD I SO NEED TO LOOSE SOME WEIGHT BEFORE BUYING ANY NEW CLOTHES!!! They all looked hideous on me and and emphasised the extra weight on my tum and bum!!! Checked out some shoes too but didn't buy any today.

Anyway, enough rambling from me - will keep ya all posted on how things are going. Oh if anyone wants to email me on their mamogram experiences (before midday tomorrow) that would be wonderful as all I have heard is how much they hurt!!! I asked Mum and she just said sometimes they hurt and sometimes they don't...

Catch ya all later

Oooops this time 2 weeks have passed since my last update... gees I sure am getting slack at this blogging! I am even getting slack at commenting and even reading at times! There was once a time that if I didn't read every blog every day that I would have withdrawal symptoms from them but now it can be every 2/3 days when I read blogs and commenting - well even less at times :( So please forgive me - I am still here and I am still reading - just a bit slack at times!

Before, I start rambling - a huge but belated congratulation to Emily and Jonny on the arrival of Kellie Grace on Friday 27th July (Steph's birthday too). Kellie is gorgeous and Emily did so well with a 10 hr drug free labour!!!

Also - sounds like the blogger party at Chris' place at the weekend was a huge success and lots of fun was had by all attended. Will definitely make an effort to attend the next one.

Well I got my leave for this week approved so am sitting in the lounge with the sun streaming in and the stereo going! :) But not for long as today is a busy day - heading to the Drs shortly for a medication review (for PND) as I have been on it for 4 weeks now - still have the occasional down day but overall I really do think I am on the rise! Am no longer "scared" of being myself with Rachel - yes it had gotten to that stage at times. Though I still get frustrated when she won't drink a full bottle etc but I just keep reminding myself that she won't starve herself and if shes hungry she will drink/eat and if shes not hungry - well then she won't eat. She is now down to 3 bottles most days and has proven that she can have big long sleeps in the afternoons as she does that for us at home so I have written out our home routine in her notebook for daycare and they are going to try it but when Rachel is playing with 10 others she does get tired quicker so will see what happens. Would love it if she had some kind of routine with her sleeps - would make things so much easier at times.

So yes I am at home and Rachel is at Daycare! This week is about me having me time and doing what I want when I want! Sounds a bit selfish when I say it like that but it's what I needed. Will have Rachel on Thursday as we have Plunket and then we are catching up with my friend Jo and her daughter Maddie :) So will see how I manage on Thursday and if all goes well I might keep her home on Friday too and catch up with other friends. Just means I have to have my shopping day tomorrow! :) I got vouchers for Westfield Shopping Centre for my birthday (back in January) which I still haven't used so am planning on doing that this week!

So anyway - after the Drs, I will grab some lunch and then head to the Hairdressers where I am getting a colour and foils - can't wait!!! :)

Yesterday, I went back to bed after dropping Rachel off as we had that thunderstorm here... and then after getting up, showering and having breakfast, I got stuck in to tidying up Rachel's room and going through all her clothes. Oooops she really does need quite a bit in the 9-12mth range so am surfing TM when I can for some good bargins :) And then I tackled Charlie's cage (the poor bird gets a bit neglected at times) and then vacumed, lunch and then tackled the bathroom/toilet etc before heading off to pick up Rachel. Oh yesterday, they had a photographer at daycare taking photos of all the kids playing etc and apparently everytime Rachel saw the guy, she would start smiling at him and giggling and would follow him everywhere with her eyes and smiling as if to say "pick me pick me"! LOL A couple of the teachers have had a sneak preview of the photos already and they said there are some awesome photos of Rachel so can't wait to get the proofs etc... hopefully they won't be to far away.

Trying a new crockpot recipe for a meatloaf - I have never done meat loaf in it before - always done either corned silverside or a casserole so it feels strange putting it in the pot with no water etc... hopefully it turns out ok otherwise I guess it will be takeaways tonight.

Oh my weight - has gone down a couple of kilos in the last fortnight too which is fantastic though I do eat less at home than I do at work. So just gotta keep working on it going down - slowly but surely and I am sure I will get there.

Anyway, time I was moving to get myself organised for the Dr's - will catch ya all later :)

Hi ya

Wow another week has gone by already! Hmmm what has happened in the last week? Not a lot really - just the same ole shit just different days! LOL

Weight is going in the wrong direction :( And yeap I know only I can do anything about it but right now I just don't have inclination/motivation/enthusiasm to get back on track at the moment! I am currently weighing in at just slightly more than what I was when I was 9mths pregnant! BUGGER! I gotta do something but it's just a matter of me getting my flaming arse back into gear and getting back on track!

Rachel is still developing new skills all the time and continuously keeping Steph and I entertained with her giggles, her stubbornness (god knows where she gets that from) and her determination to get to particular places - nothing stops her these days!

Am looking forward to 12th August when we are heading over to the Waiarapa to catch up with my sister and her family and we are all heading to the Mount Bruce open day for Conservation Week since it is free entry for the day and entertainment for the kids etc... So fingers crossed it will be a nice day as I am already looking forward to the trip :) When I was at DOC last time, I got to spend a day there "behind the scenes" and it was fantastic.

Have put in for a weeks Annual Leave for the week 6-10 August so am hoping when the boss gets back from his break on Thursday that it will be approved as I am really needing some time out. Thought I would spend a couple of days with Rachel (and perhaps organise an antenatal catch up as well) and then have 3 days to myself to do nothing or just to do what I want when I want!

Here a couple of photos before I head off to do a couple of things before going to bed:

Under the coffee table...


Chilling out on my barbie couch...


My new cot quilt that my nana won in a raffle and gave to me


Catch ya all later

Hi ya

Just thought I would do a quick update before heading to bed and while watching NCIS - I am so glad that has come back as it is one of my favourite programmes! I love Outrageous Fortune too but might have to tape it this season as it is not starting till 9.30pm and finishing at 10.30pm which is past my bedtime! I am pretty sure that last season it was on at this time too but it was on a Friday evening which makes a lot of difference!

Well what's been happening - not a lot really - have had 3 great nights of sleeping from Rachel so the steroids have definitely been working though her last dose of that was yesterday morning so am waiting with baited breath as to how tonight goes but upon talking to a lady at work whose friends baby recently had croup - she said that once the steroids break the cough that GENERALLY they are ok afterwards so fingers crossed. She still coughs a bit during the day but no where near as bad as it was a week or so ago.

Rachel is now rolling everywhere and anywhere she can - her favourite place being under the coffee table and under the clothes horse! She is now getting on all fours and going backwards so am sure it is now only a matter of time before she will be going forwards! Really do need to move a few bits and pieces in the lounge real soon and must get the safety gate we have been talking about so she is restricted from the kitchen for the time being - oh her biggest fascination in there is the rubbish bin of course!

Oh I have sussed out how to use the video component on my new cellphone so have been having fun taking videos of Rachel chatting away so now just need to suss out how to download it to the computer then I may try to post one on here if I can...

On to week 2 of my medication and had a real bad day yesterday with the side effects really hitting me hard! But today was a lot better thank goodness as I don't know how well I could have coped had it been that bad again. I must ring the Dr and make my appointment for my follow up with her in the next couple of weeks.

Anyway, time I was moving - hope you are all having a good week.

Hi all

Am at home with Rachel today after a few rough days/nights with her coughing. We ended up at the After Hours on Sunday evening (after talking to Healthline) - waiting room was choker full of sick children! I was quite astonished at how many there were! Anyway, Dr said that Rachel had an inflamed ear drum and yes she was wheezy and prescribed Rachel with a ventolin inhaler for the wheeziness and some Antibiotics for the ear but advised us to hold back starting the ABs for 36/48hrs in case it was just viral in which case it would clear itself (and by the way it has cleared up by itself so am glad we hadn't given her the AB's unnecessarily).

Anyway, Sunday night was one of the better nights she has had for a wee while but then Monday night was a rough one for all of us and I have no idea how I functioned at work and did not expect Rachel to last either Monday or Tuesday at day care but she did - was quite happy there with the occasional cough on the Monday and then yesterday she had more coughing during the day but was still happy! I had booked a Drs appt for her for Wednesday afternoon to be on the safe side - and then we had another unsettled night last night so when the alarm went, I decided that yes I would stay home with her today and boy she was so miserable this morning - I found that really hard to deal with and within an hour of being up she was fast asleep in my arms (VERY UNLIKE HER) so made myself comfy in the chair by the laptop and surfed the net while she slept on me - didn't want to put her in the cot as she coughs more when she is laying down (and yes the cot is raised considerably at the head end) so was quite happy for her to sleep on me if it meant a decent sleep for her. And she ended up sleeping on me for about 1hr 20mins which is a great morning sleep for her. While she was sleeping on me, I rung the Drs to see if I could get an earlier appt for her - my dr was fully booked but we managed to get the last available one (for any of the drs today) at 10.45 with another Dr.

Fastforward to the Dr's appt - Dr says borderline croup for Rachel and that the ventolin that the After Hrs Dr prescribed her wouldn't be doing much (don't you love the different opinions different Drs have) and has prescribed Rachel a short term dose (5 days) of mild steriods to break the cough. And I sure hope it works otherwise I will be back there again next week as I really want to get to the bottom of this coughing as it is driving me around the bend! Especially when I am having a bad day :(

Have started my medication at long last after finally getting the script filled on Friday and then I left it at work in my drawer! So started it on Monday night and so far so good - getting the nausea feeling but that seems to be the only side effect that I have noticed at this stage but I am only on 1/2 tablet for the first week before going up to a full tablet.

Stephan has tomorrow off work so the plumber can install the new hot water cylinder so if Rachel is still a bit off colour in the morning he will be able to look after her :)

Anyway, best I get moving as the place looks like a bomb has hit it... and I need to make a call or two as well before Rachel wakes up again... oh bugger I think she is awake already! Oh dear - the joys of a sick baby... catch ya all later

Hi all

Yeap another weekend almost over and time sure is flying by! So what have we been up to lately...

Firstly - I did end going to see my Dr on Wednesday afternoon and have had it confirmed that I have moderate Post Natal Depression. I feel such a fraud when I know of other friends who are a lot worse off than I am but which is why I had been putting the Drs visit off and putting on a brave face when people asked me how things were going. But as the Dr explained - we are all different and for those women that get PND - it affects us all differently! So after lots of talking and some crying, we agreed that I would trial a period of medication - got the script filled on Friday morning and then promptly left the medication at work! DOH!!!!!! But I have managed this long without anything so we decided that I would be all right till Monday and IF anything had happened we would have done a family trip in to town to collect them. I have 1 months worth initially and then have to go back for a review before getting any more. I sent an email out to my family to let them know what was happening and have had some lovely touching emails back from most of them including an admisson from one family member who confided in me that they too are on anti depressants and have been for about a year! I just wish this family member had told me earlier so we could have helped out but that was their choice. But now I have come "out" so to speak, this family member is considering it as well.

Rachel's ongoing cough is getting really bad so I think we will be heading back to the Dr early this week... when I was at the Dr on Wednesday we got talking about Rachel (of course) and the Dr did mention that if the cough continued that she may look at referring us to get Rachel an xray of her chest and listening to her today I am thinking along the lines of mild asthma but the Dr said that it is quite hard to diagonise asthma when they are under 1 unless there is family history of it (which there isn't for us). But she sure is not well that's one thing! So am bracing myself for another rough night of lots of coughing. She was like that last night though she did sleep through most of the coughing but unfortunately I did not!

We went out yesterday and caught up with some friends of mine at Wholly Bagels in Lower Hutt and Rachel had her first plain baby bagel and loved it! It was great seeing the other bubs (Rachel was the youngest by about 7 weeks) and having a good ole catch up with the mums!

Then today, we had arranged to meet Mum at North City Plaza to check out the K-Mart toy sale - wasn't that impressed with it really! We didn't buy anything (while not Toys anyway) but Mum got Rachel's birthday present. Can't wait to get it so I can have fun playing with it! LOL We had a nice lunch in the food court but unfortunately Rachel was not feeling the best so it was cut short and we came home where she has finally crashed and is sleeping nicely...

Been busy since getting home, am making two batches of meat and veggies for Rachel. One batch of beef mince (premium grade) with parsnip, pumpkin, brocolli and cauli. The 2nd batch which is cooking at the moment is pork mince with pumpkin, kumera, spinach and peas.

Oh the bad news of the weekend - our hot water cylinder is on its last legs and we will be lucky if it sees us through the week!!!! Fuck!!!! Thats all we need - NOT!!! Especially since its gonna cost us about $850 to get a new one plus the plumbers charge for installing etc!!! So there go our plans for installing a heat pump which we had been considering doing... Oh Steph got home on Friday afternoon to find a For Sale sign on our fence!!! So he promptly ripped it off and I rung the agent when I got home and got a half hearted apology and found out it is for next door!

Anyway, time I got moving - need to get some things done before Rachel wakes though I think I hear her stirring as I type this.

Hope you all have a great week.

Hi all

Things still plodding on here... taking things day by day - having some real bad/down days but other days are ok. I just take it one thing at a time and I find I do get through things but am thinking of heading to the Drs this week for myself and to discuss PND as at times it really does seem to be spiraling out of control.

We had a lovely time on Saturday catching up with Helena, Rachel, Janene (and Jorja), Anne and Jenny. We missed you Chris and I do hope you are feeling better real soon. The creamed eggs and spinach were really scrumptious though the Hot Chocolate could definitely have been better! Little Rachel was really well behaved and sat in the high chair at the time like a right young lady and she was full of smiles for everyone. Though admittingly, she was a right real madam for the rest of the day and evening... she has been really funny with her milk intake lately - I know that at about this stage (oh she is 8mths old today) that the milk intake slowly decreases while the solids intake increases... so am not to worried about it though last night I was quite stressed about it when she refused her bedtime bottle totally! So in the end, she went to bed without her bottle so we were both expecting a wake up call during the night - but no she slept right through till 5.30am (her normal wake up time)! So yes our darling is 8mths old today - so hard to believe how fast the time has gone! And we noticed at the weekend that her tooth has cut through now and I think that #2 might be on its way... oh the joys of parenting!

We went to the Warehouse Toy Sale yesterday and managed to get one thing to put away for either her birthday or christmas... apparently K-Mart have a good toy sale at some stage so will keep an eye out for that. We also got her a couple of bits and pieces at the Farmers Red Dot Sale :)

When I dropped her off at Daycare this morning - I so did not want to leave - just wanted to hold her forever! Yet other mornings I drop her off so freely... Am thinking of taking a few days leave some time soon and spend a couple of days with her at home (catching up with friends etc) and then a couple of days for me, myself and I!

Anyway its now almost 9.30pm - so time for me to head to bed.... sorry this has all been about Rachel... will try to say more in the next post.

I've been tagged!

Thanks Lyn for the tag...

But before I play the game.... a quick update from me. Well not a lot happening really - work hasn't been as bad as expected - no Over time required! YAY! Busy which of course makes the day go fast but thats cool. Got new headsets to go with our flash phones at work and they are cordless so we can go up to 100 meters away from the desk and keep talking to people! And yes that would include the toilet but we won't be going there!!! LOL

Rachel is back at the Drs tomorrow for her nasty cough... I rung to get a repeat script for her cough medicine and as she is under 1 year old, they need to see her before giving the script out. So Steph is taking her tomorrow afternoon after he picks her up from Daycare. I really do think it is in the chest as you can often hear it rattle but everytime a Dr has checked her chest they say its fine!

Am looking forward to the Bloggers Brunch in Te Horo on Saturday - gonna be so cool catching up with everyone. And fingers crossed Rachel behaves! LOL Though sounds like a few of us have some nasty germs so hopefully everyone is ok by then. Am happy to postpone for a couple of weeks if needs be...

Anyway, its cold and I am tired and oh shit I haven't turned my blankie on yet... time to get going - but here is my info from being tagged (typed up earlier):



INSTRUCTIONS: Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so.

1. Chicken Girl
2. Half Man
3. Celtic Girl
4. Lyn
5. Karen

Next select five people to tag: (if you haven’t done it already)

I think most of the blogs I read have already been tagged so if you read this and you haven't been tagged - feel free to join in!

And now for the questions:

What were you doing ten years ago?

Had been married for about 6mths to my ex and we were house hunting.

What were you doing 1 year ago?

I was almost 5mths pregnant so was preparing for what lay ahead for us.

Five Snacks You Enjoy

1. microwave popcorn
2. Chippies(of course not too often)
3. Corn (on the cob)
4. S & V rice crackers
5. Butter Chicken dishes (not often)

Five Songs to Which You Know all the Lyrics

1. The Wheels on the Bus
2. Thank you for being a friend
3. Twinkle Twinkle little star
4. Slyvia's Mother
5. Man I feel like a woman

Five Things You Would Do If You Were a Millionaire

1. Pay off debts and give up working (current job)
2. Be a full time mummy to Rachel (and then we could afford another child)
3. Buy investment properties
4. Help family members with their debts
5. Travel


Five Bad Habits

1. Putting myself down
2. Feeling I'm not worthy around others
3. Laziness
4. Eating out of boredom
5. Sarcasim

Five things you like doing

1. Blogging
2. Spending time with Rachel
3. Relaxing watching tv in front of the fire
4. Bush/river walks
5. Spending time with friends

Five things you’ll never wear again

1. Wedding dress
2. Mini skirts
3. Stilettos
4. Coulottes
5. Leg Warmers

Five favorite “toys”

1. PC
2. TV
3. BOB *nudge nudge wink wink*
4. Cellphone (new one)
5. New phone at work

Hi all

Brrrrrr we sure have had some real chilly days and nights lately... definitely been putting our heater/s to good use! One thing we have discovered is that the beautiful printed panel heater we bought last winter for Rachel's room is not as effective as we thought it would be... yes it does take the chill off the room but does not warm it if you know what I mean. So for the last week, we have been using the big oil fin heater on low in her room (and on thermostat) - heaps better though on saying that it hasn't stopped her waking between 5-5.30am and chatting away to herself until we get her up at 6am. I tried once getting up then and treating it as a middle of the night feed in the hope that she would go back to bed and sleep for another couple of hours or so! Nope - once she was up that was it - time to party mummy! So now providing she isn't crying (which isn't very often at all at that time) we just leave her to chat to herself until 6am. Speaking of chatting - oh my goodness does she know how to talk now!!! LOL And everyone's first comment is "oh just like her mother then" - how rude! LMAO Oh I can't believe I forgot to mention in my last post that her first word was "mum mum mum" - looking at me and smiling when saying it! YAY!!! So we had about a week of "mum mum mum" and then yesterday it became "bub bub bub" all day and then again all day today! Also yesterday, when she had my finger in her mouth - I suddenly felt this sharp point in her mouth - so yeap her first tooth is about to come through too! So its all on in our house!

Last night, Stephan and I went out for the first time without Rachel - had my Mum come and stay the night and look after Rachel. Steph and I went to a 1920's family dinner for his family - but by 10pm both of us were tired so we called it quits and came home. But it was nice to be out without worrying about Rachel. Yes we could have taken her but as she still has her nagging cough etc I just didn't want to take her out in the cold air and besides she settles so much better in her cot rather than being transfered from bed to carseat to cot. Then this morning, Rachel and I went to church with Mum and Rachel just loved it! Was full of smiles for everyone so I think we may start going say monthly and see how we go but will all depend on Rachel and her sleeping etc...

Work has been real busy and its only gonna get busier over the next fortnight as we have Year End for DOC and everyone is pushing things through for their budgets etc so its gonna be a nightmare but am sure we will get there. Overtime will probably be required but as much as the money would be VERY HANDY at the moment, my priority is still to spend some time with Rachel before she goes to bed so I am gonna turn it down and let the rest of the team know if they want to do extra overtime that they can do some of my work for me...

Oh and before I go here are some photos taken over the last month...

In my new overalls


Just out of the bath...


All ready to go to daycare


On my "new" Barbie couch that my cousin gave me


Right time to disappear and think about bathing Rachel and then the evening routine begins.... catch ya all later :)

Hi all

Have done some thinking and at this stage, I will keep my blog going but updates will be probably weekly at this stage or basically just whenever I have the time and/or energy to sit down and babble on and on about nothing really! It will probably mainly be about Rachel and the family and perhaps the odd mention of weight issues (and lots of those at the moment). Thanks for all your lovely comments and emails :)

We were at the Drs on Thursday afternoon and it was confirmed that Rachel did in fact have conjunctivitis and he was really impressed with how early we picked it up so all credit to day care for that as there was no way this first time stressed mummy would have picked it that early! So we got both cream and drops for her with the idea being that I would use the cream but after one application of that I was so pleased that we were given the script for the drops as well as it was no fun at all trying to put cream in a 7mth olds eyes! It's hard enough doing the drops though Steph seems to have the knack of doing it so he is charge of doing that job! It was nice to spend the day with her on Thursday though and Steph enjoyed spending Friday with her... Anyway the good news is that her eyes have been clear of gunk since late Saturday morning! So its off to Daycare for her in the morning :)

We have had a quiet weekend over all... groceries and housework yesterday and then my sister who had just picked up her younger daughter from the airport (after about a year over in Ireland) called in so Michelle could meet Rachel and as a surprise Mum popped in too. Mum ended up staying for tea which was great though Lynette and Michelle headed over the hill as Lynette's partner was cooking her a birthday tea so they had to make tracks fairly quickly for that.

Today, we have had a day at home... made a batch of chicken and veggies for Rachel which are now all frozen in ice cubes ready for her dinners (oh did a batch of beef and veggies on Saturday too), went through ALL of Rachel's clothes that she has now outgrown! Holy Moly I didn't realise she had so many clothes until they were all over our lounge floor! Huge pile of things that I just need to sort, photograph and then list on TradeMe, another pile of things that we will keep just in case we have another one (no promises there) and a nice pile of clothes that will be making their way to Emily and Jonny within the next week or two. This afternoon, Rachel and I went for a walk as I just had itchy feet and needed some fresh air... so Rachel got all wrapped up and was all snuggled up in the pram with blankets and storm cover on and off we went... It was cold but nice to be out there. I ended up catching up with my friend Jude's (who passed away 18mths ago) brother and sister in law as they are now living around the corner from us while they build a new house. It was great seeing them and Rachel was full of smiles and giggles for them both.

Went to download the photos off the camera as there are quite a few on there that need downloading from the last few weeks but battery on camera was flat so just charging that at the moment so will try to do a photo post in the next few days if I get the chance.

Right, its almost 9.30pm, so time to go put on my electric blanket and head to bed... have a good week and will catch ya later

Hi all

Do I dare say it again - yet another week has flown by! Bloody hell where on earth is the time going?

But in all seriousness, I am considering giving up my blog as I just don't seem to have the enthusiasm for it anymore and definitely don't update as regularly as I used to! And it certainly isn't about weight loss anymore... as that has totally gone out the window these days! Will give it some more thought over the next week or so... so nothing drastic happening yet but will let you know if I decide to stop.

Have got something on every weekend for the rest of June so I can see the rest of this month flying by just as quickly as the last 7mths have flown by! This weekend, my sister and her younger daughter who has been in Ireland for the last 13mths or so are popping in after Lynette picks Michelle up from the airport. Michelle is really looking forward to meeting Rachel as all she has seen is photos so far. Then on Sunday I am hoping to catch up with my friend Jo and her daughter Maddie. The following weekend, we have Steph's family mid winter dinner party - it is fancy dress but neither Steph or I are really into fancy dress parties - so we will just go as ourselves... have got my Mum coming down to look after Rachel and she will stay the night and spend the Sunday with us. Then the following weekend, a few of us bloggers are meeting in Otaki for brunch (or is it lunch - must find out) so am really looking forward to that. Oh then the following weekend, our Antenatal group are having a mummies night out and at some stage our group are doing a brunch as well so the bubs can come along too (and the dads too if they want).

Rachel is off day care for the rest of the week as I got a phonecall from them this afternoon asking me to collect her as they suspect she has conjunctivitis which as you all know is quite contagious! Bugger Bugger Bugger! Will this ever end??? Probably not since she is in daycare... but that's life and the way it has to be for now! Just have to win either Lotto or Big Wednesday so I can give up my job and stay home with my princess. So I have tomorrow off and will be taking her to the Drs... and Steph is hoping to get Friday off otherwise I will take that day off too but will take her into work with me for a couple of hours in the morning for a vital meeting that I must attend. Then hopefully she will be right by Monday... fingers crossed.

She still has her cough as well but it does seem to easing thank goodness... usually only bad first thing in the morning. At least it is no longer waking her during the night! But something definitely was upsetting her last night as she woke crying 5 times! Luckily only once she needed comforting and cuddles, the rest of the time, she was back to sleep within 30 seconds or so. Jules, thanks for your advice re vapouriser and also Pamol. We do try to restrict her Pamol intake... and I am always checking out TradeMe for a vapouriser but no local ones have been listed yet and the postage on some of the "out of town" ones seem quite high. But I have also heard how damp they can make the room which I am not that keen on.

As for the weight side of things for me - well thats a big no, no at the moment! It is slowly going up... I am not proud of this fact and I am trying to maintain but it is getting harder and harder to do. I know only I can do this and can only do it for me. Noone can do it for me and I have to be in the right frame of mind... I get jealous reading everyones blogs (and I am reading - just not commenting as often as I should) and think right my mo-jo is back... but it only lasts a few hours before losing it again.

Anyway, time I was out of here - things to do before going to bed... catch ya all later

Hi all

And yet another week has slipped by since my last update... god it's gonna be Christmas before we know it!

We had a good long weekend but had a visit to the Drs late Saturday afternoon due to Rachel only taking 1 bottle all day (6.50am) and refusing all other fluids so we were starting to get a bit concerned for her wellbeing. Saw the Dr who suggested it might be because her nose sounded quite blocked up - so after some Saline Drops - and whoaloa drinking just fine now :) She also has a nasty cough which just doesn't seem to want to go away - been about 8 weeks now so she has now been prescribed some Infant Dimetapp for that.

Though it can be a mission to get the Saline Drops up her nose along with her reflux med, her laxative and her cough medicine. Thankfully it is generally just the first and last bottle of each day that she needs all of the above and boy we sure do have a battle on our hands then! We feel so sorry for her but yet we know she does definitely need them otherwise we wouldn't be doing it. Though on saying that, we can probably ease off on the Saline Drops now as things do seem to be clearing up in that department. As we had been so spoilt with Rachel's great night time sleeping, I feel shattered with the broken sleep that we have had for the last 8 weeks or so with her coughing... some nights it means getting up to her and giving her lots of cuddles and calming her down and yet other nights it means cough medicine, some bottle and lots more cuddles.

Stephan is on Annual Leave this week so spent the day with Rachel on Tuesday as it was a "teachers only" day at creche. So he brought her into town and met me (and other friends) for lunch which was fantastic! So great to see Rachel during the day and to "show her off" in person to my workmates! The rest of week, she is back at Creche and Stephan is doing bits and pieces around the house. So while he is at home, I am taking advantage of being able to catch the early train and actually doing a full days work! Definitely a bit of a shock to the system but being at work that extra hour earlier makes a HUGE difference.

At this stage, I am not sure if I will make the bloggers party at Chris' place in August but will have a chat with Stephan about it. But am definitely looking forward to catching up with most of the Wellington/Palmy gals on the 30th at Otaki :)

Anyway, its now almost 9.30pm and I want to head to bed... so will catch ya all later on. Haven't said 1/2 of what I had planned to so I guess that will just have to wait till next update.

See ya