Karen's Journey

Yeah it sure has been quite some time since I last posted on here… just running out of enthusiasm for this blog. Struggle to find the time and energy to update… and to be honest I seem to be running out time of time even read my favourites as well! I when do sit down and catch up… I don’t have the time to leave comments… perhaps I should just give this whole blogging thing up for once and for all???

Rachel had a lovely 2nd birthday party with immediate family and her 2 “best” friends – Maddie and Jack. We were so lucky with the weather as on the Saturday we had heavy rain and wind etc… and then on the Sunday we had beautiful blue sunny sky and it got quite warm! So that was lucky as it meant that the kids (big and small) could play outside as things had dried up quite well. Am writing this from work so no photos available to share at this stage but will try to post some soon… hopefully before her 3rd birthday! LOL Rachel got very spoilt especially in the clothes department – her wardrobe is worth so much more than mine! LOL and OMG she has a shopping fetish already!!! All she wants to do is shop – whether it is grocery or whatever…. She loves shopping!!! She often picks up one of her bags, and says she is off shopping for treats or food etc... It is just so cute! Her speech is amazing and is often commented on by family, crèche and friends at how well she does speak. We can not believe how fast she has grown up and has become Miss Independent! Next job on the list is Toilet Training… she knows when she has done #2’s and always tell us after it has been done… and sometimes will tell us as soon as she has done wee’s too! So am hoping over the summer she will get an opportunity to run around with no pants on and start to learn to use the toilet.

Work has been full on, especially throughout November with the boss being away for the whole month. I was boss for the first couple of weeks and then a colleague had a turn at being boss. But it has been full on and very stressful. He is back on Monday but in a roundabout way it has been a nice month as we have agreed that the boss does have a tendency to make situations even more stressful than things already are.

Overall, my state of mind is not that great at the moment… I lay in bed last night listing the things that are worrying/stressing me and I was quite surprised at how big the list was. Some of things I know there is not a lot I can do about them i.e. money and the endless bills, missing my friend Jude who passed away almost 3 years ago like crazy at the moment (it was her birthday on Monday), missing Dad like crazy too (Dad’s birthday was on Tuesday) – wishing they were both here to know Rachel and to watch her grow up! But other things, like my weight, lack of will power and motivation, sweet fuck all exercise, eating crap food continuously… I CAN do something about these but do I choose to – NO! As I keep putting these things in the “to hard basket – lets deal with it another day”! My weight is creeping up, up, up… and last time I weighed myself (about 1 mth ago) I was only about 15 kilos off my heaviest weight! That freaked me out big time and one would have thought that it may have been enough to kick start my motivation again… but has it? NO NO NO… I continue to eat and drink crap! I continue to sit on my fat arse! I continue to moan about everything and still do nothing about it! The Parenting Forum that I belong to has continuous Weight Loss challenges and I have joined 3 of them so far and have dropped out of them all! There is another one starting on Monday but I just don’t think I can do it… I am not in the right frame of mind yet I know I want to do something about this before I am back at 129.2 kilos or god forbid even heavier!!!

Anyway, I am at work so guess I should be doing some work since that is what I am paid for. I just wanted to get some of that off my chest…

I might be back… I might not… thanks to anyone who is still reading or checking in here…