Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Hi all

It's been a quiet few days in our household with both Rachel and I having colds. I stayed home with her yesterday as she was very rattly in her chest when coughing and breathing... very happy when she is up but when sleeping she is very unsettled and restless. We have raised the head of her cot and tonight we have the crock pot in her room filled with water and on low which apparently works the same as a steam vaporizer so will be interesting to see how she sleeps tonight.

I was back at work today as I was feeling better so Rachel stayed home with her daddy and had another quiet day. I have made a Dr's appt for her for tomorrow afternoon just in case she is still unwell tomorrow - I thought that way if she does come right we can cancel the appt.

I have tomorrow off work on Annual Leave as Rachel has her plunket appt with the Karitane nurse and apparently this is the appt we get the talk about how to introduce solids etc... so didn't really want to miss this one. But talk about scary thinking about our wee girl starting solids in the next few weeks! Rachel will 4mths old on Friday! Wow 4mths already - where does the time go? So she will only have 2 days at day care this week so am expecting her to be a bit unsettled when she is there on Thursday and Friday.

Anyway, I have a basket full of clean laundry to fold so best I get moving and do that before heading off to bed.

Catch ya all later

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Hi all

Firstly and most importantly I would like to extend my condolences and sincere sympathy to Tania and her husband Josh on the death of their beautiful daughter Georgia on 19th Feb at 10 weeks old. Georgia was born on 9th Dec 2006 at about 34 weeks gestation. She recently had been suffering from a cold and was coming right when she suddenly went down hill very quickly and due to her lungs still being premature and not fully developed she was unable to fight the bugs any longer. Tania, my heart goes out to you, Josh and your extended families. Words can not express how I am feeling right now but please do know if there is anything at all that I can do for you, please let me know. For those of you who know Tarns through the blogging world, please drop by her site and leave her a message as I am sure she would love to hear from you. I would leave a link to her site but she went private last year for various reasons.

As for us, well both Rachel and I are suffering from colds at the moment so have had a very quiet day feeling sorry for ourselves :( I woke with a sore throat on Friday morning and it just progressively got worse throughout the day. And apparently Rachel slept a lot at day care on Friday so perhaps that was the start of her getting her cold too... So have been giving her some pamol as necessary along with tepid baths and lots of cuddles. In fact the only place she would sleep during today was on me which made it hard for me being not well also but these are things we do as a mummy!

Anyway, better get moving and head to bed though Steph is doing the morning feeds this weekend which is great :)

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Yeap am still here and have survived 4 days of working and childcare etc...

Being organised the night before definitely takes some getting used to thats for sure! Though am getting in the habit pretty quickly... home, cuddles with Rachel, put nappies on to rinse/wash, playtime with Rachel while one of us gets dinner on, after dinner its bath time and then bottle before she heads to bed. Rachel is sleeping really well going down between 8-8.30pm and waking between 6.30-7.00am.

Rachel seems to have settled down quite well in care which is a relief for me thats for sure! She had initially been quite fussy when taking the bottle but its definitely improving which is great. And she is going down to bed a lot quicker and easier now as well and although she isn't feeding and sleeping as much as she did when I was at home, she is full of smiles and giggles when she is awake. Rachel is almost rolling from back to tum which is fun to watch though she gets so frustrated at times! The ladies at the daycare say they haven't met a 3mth old who is as fussy/stubborn as Rachel! LOL Though with both Steph and I being stubborn - Rachel really doesn't have any chance of being anything else I guess! LOL

This morning was a bit emotional for me though as Rachel "slept in" and didn't wake until 7.10am and so I only had time to change her, dress her and give her the reflux medication before putting her in the car and heading off to care. I asked the team leader at daycare if they needed me to stay and give her the bottle and they said it was up to me and I chose to rush off and catch the train! As I was getting on the train, I broke down in tears and felt like I was the world's worst mummy!!!! When I got to work, I was still very emotional and got told by the boss that I should always put Rachel first and not to worry about work! So after that, I rung day care and she had taken the whole bottle very happily and had gone down to bed which made me feel a bit better but in future if she sleeps later again I will stay at day care and give her the bottle.

So am plodding on day by day and so far so good I guess... am pretty tired but getting there. Treated myself to a haircut and colour on Saturday - so am now a "red haired"! Have taken a couple of photos so once they are downloaded I will post them on here.

Oh, I am reading most blogs but don't usually have the time to leave comments but please be assured I am reading them all!

Anyway, best I get moving and might head to bed shortly... so will catch ya all later.

Monday, February 19, 2007

Hi all

Just a quick post from me as I am totally shattered! Thanks for your kind wishes for my first day back at work today! Leaving Rachel at day care this morning was one of the most emotional things that I have ever had to go through in my life! It was so damn hard and I was bawling my eyes out when I left there to catch the train. "Checked in" with them 3 times during the day - she didn't take her bottles very well (took only a total of 140mls all day) and she didn't sleep that well but was apparently full of smiles and cooing all day when she was up so she was obviously happy enough over all. We have had a lovely evening with her - it was so thrilling to come home to her and all her smiles!

But as Steph was told when he picked her up, there is no way they will let her get dehydrated or anything like that - even if it means getting her to take water during the day. So my initial concerns about her milk intake are a bit more relaxed as I know she IS in great hands there.

Everything is done for tomorrow - and Steph is just making my lunch for me so am off to bed shortly as I have a headache... catch ya all later.

Oh - am still working on the new blog so will keep you all posted :)

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Hi all

Once again, thanks for all your wonderful supportive comments and emails :) I am in the process of setting up a new blog that will focus on family life and our day to day happenings. And rather than actually deleting this one altogether, I am thinking that I will keep this one running and use this one for weight related topics etc... so will see how that plan works out but will keep you posted :)

I still can't believe this is my final week as a SAHM (Stay at home mum) and that next week I will be sitting at desk working! :( We had another session at day care yesterday morning spending one on one time with Dayna who is going to be Rachel's main caregiver. And then on Friday afternoon we are back there where Rachel will have a play and then Dayna will feed her and then together we will settle her into her new bed there and then I will leave and have some "me" time (might go spend my Westfield vouchers I got for my birthday) and then Dayna will call me once Rachel is awake again. Then Monday it will be for real! As Rachel tends to have her big sleep in the afternoons, we have arranged that Steph will call them as he is about to leave work and if she is still sleeping, he will come home and they will call him when she wakes so he can collect her.

We did have a full on day yesterday (after a rough unsettled night on Monday) as after our time at Day care, we hit the road and went up to Mum's for lunch and spent about 3hrs with her (and some of her friends that popped in to see Rachel) and then after leaving mums I went to see a friend of mine Paula (a reader of my blog) and her daughter who is 18mths old. It was great seeing you both again!!! Rachel was still rather tired and grizzly when we got there so after a bit of rocking, she fell asleep in my arms so that gave us a bit of peace :)

Oh I mentioned a wee while ago about Rachel being fussy with Steph feeding her - well her ears must have been burning when I said that as she will now take it from him most of the time. Sometimes she is still putting up a good fight and after a while of her crying etc I will generally takeover as she is already tired and I don't like seeing her working herself up to much at that time of the night.

TOM arrived with full force late on Monday evening, and I know this is a bit TMI but boy I feel like I should be wearing Maternity Pads again as it is that heavy! YUCK!!! So its making me feel very blah and yucky at the moment so we are just having a quiet day at home with just the two of us :)

Tomorrow, I am going to my friend Jo's place to spend time with her and her daughter Maddie and another friend of ours Steff and her children as well so am really looking forward to that! Am SOOOO going to miss them so much when I go back to work! I know there is email, texts and the weekends for visiting but its just not the same as catching up during the week while our "other halves" are working! :) Am also going to miss our Antenatal group get togethers as well - there is actually a lunch today which I had been thinking about going to but with me feeling so yuck and today being our only "free" day I have decided that we won't go.

Friday, a quiet morning and then when Rachel wakes about lunch time I will take her to day care for her time there.

Anyway, best I get off my big butt and get some things done around here.... will keep you posted when I make the move to the new blog (just wish I was more creative but never mind).

TTFN

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Hi all

Firstly a BIG thank you to you ALL for your wonderful supportive comments and emails! They mean so much to me and it wasn't till I re-read my post a wee while later that I realised how "down" it sounded. But for me to have written all of that it must have been how I was feeling at the time and its always better to get things off your chest rather than bottle them up and if you can't do that in our own journal then where can you do it?

After doing lots of thinking and contemplating, I am almost definitely going to stop this blog and perhaps start a brand new fresh one that will be about us as a family with the occasional weight issue popping up every now and then. I have taken in what a few of you have said in regards to cutting myself some slack in regards to worrying about my weight just yet - yes Rachel is only 3mths old but I guess I read other blogs and see others who have had babes in the last few months and see them right back on track straight away and it makes me feel like a loser in that regards SOOOOO I have to stop doing that and let me be me and concentrate on Rachel and returning to work and getting into a routine that works for us all as a family and then once that is in place I will look at my weight and what I can do about it. I have managed to maintain for the last 12 weeks since Rachel's birth so as long I can continue to do that and not pile on the weight in the mean time then I will be just fine. I am really enjoying reading Kate's blog at the moment - so much of it is making sense to me and hitting home so am going to try to get a Geneen Roth book or two out of the library )as I can't afford to buy them just yet) and do some serious reading while on the train each morning and afternoon.

"Anonymous" has said:
"You can't live on painkillers. That's no example to set to your daughter. You need to look after yourself!
First paycheck make sure you book a massage ok.

If you really don't want to have baby in care have you explored the option of selling your property and making a priority of staying home for longer? Really not trying to be unhelpful here but you don't sound terribly happy and it's a shame. Your baby is only a baby once and your happiness is IMPORTANT!"


And I would like to answer her (or his) points - I know I can't live on Painkillers but Rachel is only 3 mths old at the moment and I certainly don't intend on taking painkillers daily for ever! So at this stage it certainly isn't setting her a bad example at all. And if it makes me more relaxed and less stressed then that's gotta be good for her :) And one massage certainly isn't going to make my pain go away which is why I said either REGULAR massages or Osteo treatment.

As for the option of selling our home, yes we have looked at that but we also see the point of having our home as a security and future for Rachel in the long run. But by selling, we would then have rent to pay and for us to get a "decent" 3brm house with a fully fenced section in a nice area we would be paying about the same in rent as to what we are currently paying in mortgage payments but thanks for the suggestions anyway :)

Anyway, enough of that for now... I will keep you posted SHOULD I decide to set up a new blog - might do some playing around for now :)

Hasn't the weather in Wgtn been fantastic of late? It reached 33 degrees in Upper Hutt yesterday! No wonder I was so bloody hot! :) And today it is apparently sitting about the 28 degree mark so all doors and windows are open, the fans are going (in the lounge and in Rachels room)... and its still hot!

Rachel is definitely like her mum in the fact that she doesn't cope with the heat too well... she had a huge sleep yesterday afternoon and when she woke she was soaking in sweat so had about 45 mins of laying on the floor totally naked and she loved that! She just adores being naked! And then about 6pm as it was getting cooler and she was starting to get a bit grizzly, I got the pram out, threw on some sneakers and put Rachel in the pram and off we went for a 40 min walk! It was fantastic as it was cooler but I still worked up a sweat and Rachel slept most of it which meant she woke all happy and was more than happy to lay in her bouncer while Steph and I had dinner before bathing her etc... The only problem we are tending to have at the moment is Rachel being fussy with her bottle as she just doesn't like Steph feeding her at all which makes things quite stressful in our place at times in the evenings as I am wanting a break, Steph is wanting to feed Rachel and she just screams the house down. We are hoping that once she is in day care and has a couple of different people feeding her (she has one main caregiver and a backup caregiver) that she might loosen up a bit and let her Daddy feed her (fingers crossed).

Anyway, this has turned into a novel rather than a quick post... and I should be doing other things rather than sitting online while Rachel is sleeping but before I go here a couple of photos of her taken recently and yes our big girl is now sleeping in her cot and has taken to it really well!!!









Right, she is waking now... so best I get moving... catch ya all later and thanks again for all your support!

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Am thinking of either stopping blogging altogether or perhaps going private as I never seem to have much to say these days and very little of what I do have to say is weight related - just me blabbering on about my life with Rachel. Also once I am back at work I will have very little time to come online as when I get home it will be quality time with Rachel and then once shes in bed, its time for washing the nappies, organising her bag for the next day, making lunches etc...

Am not looking forward to going back to work in two weeks time - just gotta win lotto real soon! Don't have any decent clothes to wear to work nor do I have any comfy shoes to wear and no money to buy them either!

Am sick of aching all over continuously and living on pain killers! Would kill for a regular massage or Osteopath treatment but can't afford it so I just keep on taking pain killers.

Am not succeeding in my 12 week challenge - weight is back up to what it was over a week ago :( Am not saying I am giving up on the weight loss side of things but it is getting me down these days. I know these things take time but I have very little energy or motivation these days as I am always so tired... and yes I know if I did more exercise I would be more motivated but its one of those vicious circles if you know what I mean...

Right, Rachel is just waking up so best I get moving and get ready for the next feeding round.. and she won't go back down again now until after her bath and bottle so that is about 8.30/9pm!

Ciao

Friday, February 02, 2007

Week 1 Weigh in

Hi all

In reply to Rachel's comment left on my previous post... YES I did weigh in you impatient gal!!! LOL It's just me a wee while to get my ass online and to update... so thought I would just keep you all in suspense.... LOL

I weighed in at 98.5 kilos this morning giving me a loss of 1.1 kilos in my first week! YIPPEEE!!! Just gotta keep going now...

I can say that seeing those numbers made my day after a night from hell with my darling Rachel! She had her 3 mth jabs yesterday and has been very unsettled ever since :( My poor darling just wanted her mummy all yesterday afternoon and the only place she would settle was laying on top of me so housework got pushed aside for precious mummy cuddles! She went down at her usual time of 9pm after only drinking 1/2 her usual night bottle and some pamol she had fallen asleep so we put her down and just as I had fallen asleep she woke up again (10.50pm) and it was 12.30am before I managed to get back to bed as everytime I tried putting her down she would wake and start crying... normally I would leave her to cry for a wee while but as I knew she was unsettled from the jabs I didn't want to do that so I would pick her up again and give her more cuddles! Then she was awake again at 3.50am though obviously not so hungry this time (only took 30mls) but after a nice dose of Pamol and lots more cuddles she went down... And just as I was finally getting back to sleep, Steph's alarm went off!!! And so I got up after Steph left and had a shower etc - ready to face what could be a looong day with Rachel!

Whilst at the Drs, we also got her reflux "officially" confirmed and she is now on medication (Zantac) for it (as Gaviscon is not a medication - just a thickner). I was dreading giving her the meds this morning but low and behold she took it without a problem it at all (tastes like peppermint) so that was a big hurdle over and done with. She is sleeping at the moment and has been down for almost an hr and a half (which is most unusual for her at this time of the day) so she must be "buggered" :)

Got a friend (from our antenatal group) coming around about 11ish for coffee and a catch up so that should be good. We were going to go out but I didn't really want to with Rachel being so unsettled so Lucy and Jack are coming here instead :)

Not a lot happening this weekend - we have Steph's brothers 40th tomorrow night - not sure if I will go - might stay home with Rachel and let Steph go by himself. Steph has Monday off work (4 day weekend for him then) so that will be nice - might try to catch up with another friend of mine who had a baby boy a couple of weeks ago.

Right, best I get moving and move the washing off the couch (already folded) so Lucy has somewhere to sit when she gets here.

Catch ya all later