Thursday, November 27, 2008

Yeah it sure has been quite some time since I last posted on here… just running out of enthusiasm for this blog. Struggle to find the time and energy to update… and to be honest I seem to be running out time of time even read my favourites as well! I when do sit down and catch up… I don’t have the time to leave comments… perhaps I should just give this whole blogging thing up for once and for all???

Rachel had a lovely 2nd birthday party with immediate family and her 2 “best” friends – Maddie and Jack. We were so lucky with the weather as on the Saturday we had heavy rain and wind etc… and then on the Sunday we had beautiful blue sunny sky and it got quite warm! So that was lucky as it meant that the kids (big and small) could play outside as things had dried up quite well. Am writing this from work so no photos available to share at this stage but will try to post some soon… hopefully before her 3rd birthday! LOL Rachel got very spoilt especially in the clothes department – her wardrobe is worth so much more than mine! LOL and OMG she has a shopping fetish already!!! All she wants to do is shop – whether it is grocery or whatever…. She loves shopping!!! She often picks up one of her bags, and says she is off shopping for treats or food etc... It is just so cute! Her speech is amazing and is often commented on by family, crèche and friends at how well she does speak. We can not believe how fast she has grown up and has become Miss Independent! Next job on the list is Toilet Training… she knows when she has done #2’s and always tell us after it has been done… and sometimes will tell us as soon as she has done wee’s too! So am hoping over the summer she will get an opportunity to run around with no pants on and start to learn to use the toilet.

Work has been full on, especially throughout November with the boss being away for the whole month. I was boss for the first couple of weeks and then a colleague had a turn at being boss. But it has been full on and very stressful. He is back on Monday but in a roundabout way it has been a nice month as we have agreed that the boss does have a tendency to make situations even more stressful than things already are.

Overall, my state of mind is not that great at the moment… I lay in bed last night listing the things that are worrying/stressing me and I was quite surprised at how big the list was. Some of things I know there is not a lot I can do about them i.e. money and the endless bills, missing my friend Jude who passed away almost 3 years ago like crazy at the moment (it was her birthday on Monday), missing Dad like crazy too (Dad’s birthday was on Tuesday) – wishing they were both here to know Rachel and to watch her grow up! But other things, like my weight, lack of will power and motivation, sweet fuck all exercise, eating crap food continuously… I CAN do something about these but do I choose to – NO! As I keep putting these things in the “to hard basket – lets deal with it another day”! My weight is creeping up, up, up… and last time I weighed myself (about 1 mth ago) I was only about 15 kilos off my heaviest weight! That freaked me out big time and one would have thought that it may have been enough to kick start my motivation again… but has it? NO NO NO… I continue to eat and drink crap! I continue to sit on my fat arse! I continue to moan about everything and still do nothing about it! The Parenting Forum that I belong to has continuous Weight Loss challenges and I have joined 3 of them so far and have dropped out of them all! There is another one starting on Monday but I just don’t think I can do it… I am not in the right frame of mind yet I know I want to do something about this before I am back at 129.2 kilos or god forbid even heavier!!!

Anyway, I am at work so guess I should be doing some work since that is what I am paid for. I just wanted to get some of that off my chest…

I might be back… I might not… thanks to anyone who is still reading or checking in here…

8 comments:

Anne said...

You know I'm here reading!!

Sorry to hear you are so down about your weight. Don't kow what it is but our heads have to be in the right place or it jusst doesn't happen. For years I was in the same place you are now, then I just thought - enough! Hope that happens to you!!!

Also sorry to hear you may not blog again!!!!! You were one of my first ones that I started reading. So many of the original bloggers I knew have stopped - and these were people like you that inspired me. Hope you change your mind.

Good to hear the news about your little girl. She sounds a character:-)

Anne said...

LOL - ignore the typos above!

Jaxx said...

So nice to hear from you :-). Bugger about the weight but you have to be in the right frame of mind else it is just to bloody hard. Can't believe it is 3 years since Jude passed away... If you come back great if not all the best for the future and have a great Christmas and fantastic 2009. BTW will keep popping in to check just in case there is an update at some stage :-)

Anonymous said...

So sorry to hear you are struggling :( Bills, work, weight, loss... uhggg :(

I know it is cheesy - but next time you make a list please think of the good things too :) Of course you already think of Rachel :) But you too. Your job seems pretty difficult, you must be a smart, organised lady. You said yourself you ran the place for a couple of weeks and it was less stressful than if your boss was there!

And you are an interesting and eloquent writer. Enough to keep this lurker reading :)

Don't give up on you.

Anonymous said...

Yeah I think you should come back!!

As for the weight thing, I know what its like to try and get into the "zone" and one day it will happen. The thing that worked for me was going shopping and trying on clothes - they didn't fit and looked disgusting... makes you get upset and then you think RIGHT! That's IT... once and for all... plus summer is a lot easier too with lighter food...

Plus = you have to be there in 10, 20, 30 years for your daughter. Think ahead.

Good luck and don't stress on the small stuff - life is far too short to worry...

Miss Coops said...

Aww hun please dont give up blogging!!! I hope things work out soon for you. Stop stressing about money and weight everything will fall in to place soom im sure.

Sounds like Rachelle (sp?) had a lovely birthday she is very lucky to have a wonderful mum and family like you

Janine said...

I am also a slack commenter, but I lvoe reading about what is going on in your life at the moment, it is like a snapshot of your life. The good and the bad. I would hate not seeing you update - even once a month!!

I really do hope you stay blogging occasionally.

Tania said...

I hope you do keep blogging - so many of us are busy mums and understand that you can't blog as often as you'd like to but we still like to read about what you're up to when you get the time to post!

Glad to hear all went well with Rachel's birthday - it's such a cute age isn't it? We're also focussed on toilet training in this house at the moment - got to love the warmer weather!

As to the weight loss - i've been yo-yoing since I gave birth to Lachlan! If it's important to you to lose the weight (in that not losing it is making you miserable) then address why you're not motivated and work out a plan to focus on one aspect at a time. Start blogging more if it will give you accountability - I know it's hard to find the time but in between being a wife, mum, employee etc you're still a person who has needs - so if it's important to you MAKE the time! I don't know about you but the feedback and comments I get on my blog spur me on all the time.

Then work out what you want to tackle first - is it the water, food, exercise etc? Focus on one and when you feel you're doing well add another! The motivation is there for the taking and a happier Karen is just around the corner!