Karen's Journey

Hi all

Well am at home today after a WEE scare yesterday afternoon.... went to the toilet just before heading home and had a wee bit of spotting along with a bit of blood when I wiped! Had a very gentle walk to the railway station and uncomfortable ride home on the train due to the period pain I was having and also the amount of movement I was getting from our wee girl (which I must admit did keep me reassured that all was ok) and then paged my MW when I got home and headed straight to bed! MW rung back and after a good chat with her, there was nothing to panic about and it was probably a result of the sex that Steph and I had on Sun (sorry if that was TMI) especially since I had been awfully tender at the time on Sun! So MW just suggested, I have a day of rest today and that I will be ok to fly to Tauranga and Rotorua tomorrow and Friday. I was to call her back if I had any further bleeding which I haven't but still woke feeling a bit crampy and also with a headache so yeap it was a definite day for staying at home! I have done one load of washing but that was only due to the fact that the hamper was overflowing for some strange reason! There is more washing to do - but that can wait till the weekend!

So apart from the washing, I didn't actually get up until about 10.15am which was nice and I felt a bit better. Didn't actually have a shower or anything till about 11.30am and that was only cause I was getting chilly sitting here in my nightie and robe! It was nice sitting here in the sun initially but it has disappeared behind the clouds :(

I also had some bad news yesterday after talking to the bank and due to the type of mortgage we have got (looong story) we are unable to take a mortgage holiday whilst I am on parental leave (that was our last option we were using) so I really don't know what we are going to do now. I do have a couple of ideas up my sleeve but need to really sit down and discuss them with Steph... Had a great talk to a couple of friends from work yesterday and they came up with some ideas for me to do whilst at home with baby so will investigate those as well. And whilst home today I will attempt to call IRD and talk to them about our eligiblity for Family Assistance and/or accomodation supplement and/or child care subsidy! I have never had a "hand out" before but hey I have paid my taxes for the last 22 years (from when I started working part time at the age of 13) so if I can get just a wee bit to help us out then I will apply for it! But whilst talking about this - a HUGE THANK YOU to Jodie and Carla for their emails yesterday and to Carla for the chat on MSN last night! It meant so much to me and helped through things. Jodie I got your email just as I was leaving work and as I am not there today, I haven't replied but thanks heaps guys xx Thank you to the others who have also been emailing and commenting and supporting me through the rough patch I am going through at the moment. I am trying to keep a handle on it all as I would hate it to turn to depression (have been down that track a few years back) so do bare with me if I have a negative post or a moan and bitch on here but as this is my journal I find sometimes this is the best place to vent my feelings!

But anyway, I might head to the couch and watch a DVD... oh I am reading everyones journals - just been a bit slack leaving comments but trust me I am still reading them all the time!

*hugs* and thanks again to you all - I would be lost without you all xxx